Back in 2003, before Britney Spears went batshit crazy, she attended a MTV bash thrown by Carson Daly (remember him?) and, having been upset by something the New York Post's gossip column published about her, donned this "PageSixSixSix" outfit, which is how celebrities get retribution. And tabloid headlines. How fitting, then, that heiress-model Lydia Hearst, who herself got so upset with Page Six — though it was Page Six Magazine — payed homage to Ms. Spears at a Halloween party last night with this simple identical number.
Because when you look around and see all your competitors falling by the wayside due to lack of ad pages and a decrease in readership, and your own sales dropping 4.7%, you think to yourself "A 25¢ increase on weekend editions would fix this right up."
Well, at least that's what you'd think if you were Rupert Murdoch and determined to keep the Post going long enough to dance on Sumner Redstone's grave.
Slooow news days, which means constant updates about whether or not Lydia Hearst actually denounced her dynasty on Sunday in her weekly Page Six Magazine column. Lydia backtracked in earnest, saying that she never wrote that column and that Page Six just…made it up?
Though we are surprised to believe Page Six is actually in the right on this one, it seems pretty unlikely that Lydia's been turning in these totally not ghost-written at all columns every week and then all of a sudden her editors decided to make one up. Because, after all, Lydia is so proud of her natural love of writing.
And now The Post, angry that their fledgling Sixer staff is getting a bad rap, is on the offense, and using their Page Six column to take swipes at Lydia's "journalistic" legacy:
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Is Page Six Magazine a hazard to your health? YES! But only if you work there.
An operative writes in to tell Jossip "there are hundreds of toxic black mold spores that have just recently been discovered growing behind a series of file cabinets" in front of the art/ad sales department.
"Many Page Six Magazine staff members have refused to show up to the office until the matter is thoroughly investigated. Apparently there was a recent flood (last spring) on the 9th floor of the NY Post offices and that is what spawned the spores."
Editor-in-chief Margi Conklin is said to have "expressed concern" over staffers' health and, more importantly!, is "concerned about making the Thursday night close in time for the Sunday edition of the Post."
"Many of the office members have suffered from unexplainable abdominal pains and a rash around their mid section." Hardship! Especially for the pregnant lady we hear is on staff. She's 'specially scaredy-cat.
There's nothing quite like a little unsubstantiated gossip to get our motors running. Which is why we were delighted by the dishy email this morning claiming that less than a week after PageSix.com's triumphant launch, there's already an onslaught of infighting, cattiness and overall dissension in the ranks.
Although we can’t always shake the nasty habit of writing in the royal we, occasionally one of our editors decides to shake off the cloak of anonymity to write a short, pithy statement long, rambling diatribe about a topic of their choice. Today, Debbie Newman is that editor.
Despite their big dreams, roster of celebrity weekly expatriates and highly unrealistic goals of chipping away at the Sunday Times' readership, Page Six Magazine hasn't made nearly as much of a splash with readers—or potential advertisers—as they would have liked.
And because a friend in need is a friend indeed, we've decided to take some time out of our busy schedule to offer them some helpful unsolicited advice. Read on, loyal Sixers, and we'll tell you everything we know about how not to blow a major magazine launch the first, second or even third time around.
Have you heard? Lydia Hearst has a new "secret" boyfriend! Here's what she had to say about him in this week's Page Six Magazine:
There has been a lot of speculation lately as to who I'm dating. Where do I begin? First off, I don't want to put his name in this column. You will read it elsewhere, I'm sure, even though I've never personally discussed it. But there's something about writing his name and putting labels on things that makes me uncomfortable.
But why is the normally unabashed Ms. Hearst (see picture, right) so reticent about naming the lucky fellow? Could it be because she's finally tired of trading prostituting herself for publicity and trading on her familial connections to further her own as yet to be determined "career?" [Ed: Clearly not.]
No, we're guessing there's a much simpler explanation for Lydia's uncharacteristic modesty. Like, perhaps, the fact that her Prince Charming is infamous for getting dumped by Mischa Barton and explaining "I just write dope songs and [bleep] hot bitches."
And for having the weirdest, lowest-hanging balls in the the history of male genitalia.
We meant to write about this yesterday, but then our dealer came over, we ordered some Indian food, started thinking about how weird everything is and totally forgot. Oops!
Aren't those Page Six Magazine ads annoying? It's like, how many puns on "six" and "sex" can they possibly make? "Get more SIX in your life"—do they mean we should have more sex or move to 6th Avenue so we can use "six" more?
Wait, we keep getting distracted. So, did you see that Emily Gould pothead piece this Sunday? Apparently she like, um, used to smoke a lot of pot. Now she's all reformed and does a lot of yoga, instead, which is actually way more annoying than being a pothead.
Gould tells the pun-tastic mag that her "catastrophic" Jimmy Kimmel experience totally scarred her. (Uh, clue one as to why Sarah Silverman is so twisted)
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"If you’re looking for something a bit more titillating than the usual fare," writes Opinionista blogger Melissa Lafsky, "check out an article I wrote for this week’s Page Six magazine. It’s about New York women who practice polyamory."
The article in question? An exploration of young men and women who have more sex in a typical week than you've had in the past year, provocatively titled "Meet The New Swingers."
Apparently not everyone's buying it, however. One tipster (who also wonders "what's up" with Page Six Mag not putting their stuff online) points out:
"Where I come from, we called them sluts."
Funny…we always just called it Sex and the City.
Our lighthearted conjectures notwithstanding, it seems the Grey Lady is not, in fact, running for cover after Post editor Col Allan threw down the gauntlet yesterday by announcing that the New York Times is in Page Six Magazine's "gun sights."
Apparently, this all has to do with a sort-of boring fight about luxury advertising sales. And since boring is what the NYT does best, they were not about to be outdone. Quoth NYT Magazine's associate managing editor, Gerry Marzorati:
Publishing magazines that people — women in particular — want to read is not an easy thing when you've never done it before…So if, you know, I am in Mr. Allan's sights, I am not exactly running for cover.
Which is pretty much the Times' prim way of saying "Note to Col: Just because you happen to frequent the seedy underbelly of New York strip clubs doesn't mean you know anything about what women readers actually want."
Page Six magazine will debut re-debut next week, in an purported effort to compete with low and highbrow culture.
Says optimistic Post editor Col Allan: "The New York Times is as much in our gun sights as the Daily News."
When reached for comment, Times' disheartened Sunday op-ed columnists Thomas L. Friedman and Frank Rich promptly conceded defeat by immediately bursting into tears, burying their heads in their hands and quietly sobbing, "We're finished."
Richard Johnson's wedding may have been totally ruined by Jared Paul Stern and Ron Burkle … and Campbell Robertson … but thank Jesus, Moses, and Suri, not all is lost.
Page Six The Magazine will return to fill the void of glossy celebrity gossip that is obviously missing from all our lives. And, from the sound of things, a lack of JPS is not going to change much in the way of the Post's/Page Six's reporting policy.
Page Six reporters routinely cultivate relationships with publicists who feed them and other reporters items about celebrities spotted in the restaurants, hotels and nightclubs they represent.
Placing an ad in the Page Six magazine may be another way for advertisers, and the publicists they hire, to stay on friendly terms with The Post, said Robert S. Boynton, the director of the magazine program at New York University and the author of "The New New Journalism."
"Put it this way: it's a small price to pay for the possibility of getting favorable coverage," Mr. Boynton said.
What was that delectable little Stern quote again? Something like "It's a little like the Mafia. A friend of mine is a friend of yours."
Oh, mafia schmafia.
Page Six, the Magazine, Is Returning (With an Edge, of Sorts [Julie Bosman, New York Times]
The biggest, baddest news of the day?
Obviously. What could possibly be happening in the world that would qualify as being more important than Page Six, The Magazine? The New York Post's dedication to news coverage is just so admirable.
Editorial Director
