On Tuesday night, jewlery designer Waris Ahluwalia and his hosts threw a small fete in honor of Waris' debut collection. Naturally, we've never heard of him (then again, we're on fashion's D-list) but apparently this character is tight with big-names like Wes Anderson and his new collection is actually slated to be the next really big deal or whatever.

Anyhow, all the fashionistas (Hamish Bowles! Fran Leibowitz! Damon Dash!) toasted Waris by downing fancy cocktails at Bergdorf's, then continued the celebration with an elaborate sit-down dinner at the Indian Consulate. And that's where our story gets a little more interesting.

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There are two on-the-scene types whose party report filings we dutifully read. The first is every-position-ever-cum-Forbes-scribe James Brady. The second is the Observer's Spencer Morgan, who took off to L.A. (joining nearly every other New York gossip) for an all-out Oscar sock hop. From the Independent Spirit Awards bash at Shutters and the BlackBook party to Entertainment Weekly's Al Gore lovefest and, of course, Graydon Carter's Vanity Fair event, there was lots to cover.

So how come the only thing we can focus on is what Tinsley Mortimer said?

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Sadly, we hear the party is mostly for ad types.

That doesn't mean we won't be crashing in the hopes that Paula Froelich is doing more of her stand up, but if Sessa ain't showin', what's the point?

While we waste away the week from the confines of our cold, barely insulated headquarters, we've made sure to place spies on the ground at Sundance, who are filing away from the cold, completely-lacking-insulation confines of Park City, Utah. From a smorgasbord of tips, we've compiled the following Sundance cheat sheet:

• Population: 80 percent dudes, 15 percent cougars, 5 percent other.

• At the Gen Art and Delta Sky Lodge Opening Party on Friday night, guests were virtually unwelcome — even those who paid extra for their VIP passes. Dustin "Screech" Diamond, however, was allowed entry (to watch his friend cripwalk on the dance floor), though his presence was likely due to the fact that there were no "real" celebrities in town yet.

• Also Friday night, a Diddy sighting! A spy spotted the rap mogul and his "entourage of 'goons' arriving at the token late night drunk food destination … His phone was glued to his face and he didn't seem to care about the woman by his side, who did not seem to resemble his girlfriend by any means."

• So far, the nightly MySpace parties at Tao "have actually been a bust." One source says a "bunch of my friends had tables there and everything, and they still left after 30 minutes because it was horrible."

• First day feel, summarized by a single overheard quoted uttered on Main Street: "Is that Gary Coleman?! In the cowboy hat? Why are they following him around?"

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Donny Deutsch's holiday party wasn't the only NBC Universal soiree to go awry. While a party bus break down kept CNBC's bridge-and-tunnel staffers from boozing in the city, we hear Stone Phillips and Ann Curry's crowd had an equally miserable experience.

While it was easier for NBC's Dateline staffers to find the party – at the Ted Turner Bison Restaurant – we hear staffers were charged $20 each to attend. And what's they get for their cover charge? A "disturbing" performance by Dateline executive producer David Corvo's 12-year-old daughter singing "Desperado." Ahem.

Jeff Zucker promptly sent top brass a memo, heralding the entrance fee as a brilliant cost-cutting measure that saved the bottom line untold hundreds of dollars.

If you've ever reached the end of a Cindy Adams or Liz Smith column, you know how dreadful a party report can be. The hue of the red carpet might be the lede, while the way Barry Diller shakes hands turns into a three paragraph anecdote of how Cindy learned to tie her laces. But a James Brady party report reads appropriately like a fly on the wall — and what else would you expect from Page Six's creator? Writing for Forbes, James files copy from Hearstette Cathie Black's holiday party. Granted, Cathie's bash at her townhouse took place before Thanksgiving and the article took until today to find its way online, but you know how the Internet works these days: things take forev to post. Those "Save" buttons are tricky.

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To help welcome incoming editor-in-chief Andy Sewer and honor "The Fortune 25: Portraits of Power," Fortune magazine and Time Inc. chief John Huey rounded up the business media elite, a couple of guys who started a little video sharing site, a handsome fella who runs a stock exchange, and plenty of Grey Goose for an evening of staring at black and white photos projected onto blank walls at the Chelsea Art Museum. After the jump, the fun continues with a whole lot of photos of people staring at the black and white photos projected onto blank walls for you to stare at.

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The fagalas at Queerty hit Out magazine's Out 100 party at Capitale on Friday night, capturing all the glam you'd expect from the gayest event of the season: Iman, Michael Kors, Anne Hathaway, Claire Danes, Kelis, and the well-cheekboned Aaron Hicklin, editor of the magazine. Yes, we were there too, but only to stuff our face in Kelis' crotch. She volunteered. (To be sure, it didn't hurt that we were among those listed in the Out 100.)

Rather than lug a photog around last night's Spy: The Funny Years book party – it seems everyone (#) is (#) doing (#) that these days – we instead hit Grayon and Kurt's event the way we would a friend's small get together: casual dress code, drink in hand, and taking notes on our BlackBerry.

• We scored exactly 8.66 seconds of face time with Vogue's Anna Wintour. She had to make a phone call .. and a quick exit.

• There was one Donald Trump look-a-like, one real Graydon Carter, and one Graydon Carter look-a-like.

• It was difficult to tell who most deserved the superlative "effervescent": Women's Wear media scribe Stephanie Smith or Metro dating columnist and Candace Bushnell wannabe Julia Allison.

• Ex-Daily News gossip Lloyd Grove appears to enjoy these parties so much more now that he's not reporting on them. Guess that goes hand in hand with unemployment.

• Meanwhile, current Daily News gossip George Rush impressed us by going the entire night without mentioning Britney Spears' divorce. Kudos.

• Radar's photographer reminded us of our high school yearbook lensman who roamed the hallways trying to get you to pose. A snappily dressed Jeff Bercovici was not in the mood to wrangle photo subjects.

• Ex-Jossip editor Corynne Steindler arrived with new boss Richard Johnson. Guess who was more excited to see us.

• Dealbreaker Liz Spiers got off at the wrong stop: The 6 train gets closer to Wall Street than this.

• Time Inc.'s Jim Kelly was overheard vowing not to throw another beer bash at his house.

• Harvey Weinstein came in from the rain with his own umbrella carrier. That was the highlight of our fat rich Jew observations.

• Mediabistro's Dylan Stableford may have had one too many. Or we had one too many. One of us was slurring.

• AdAge's Nat Ives revealed his new game plan: Quantity, not quality.

As much as we love the ladies of Women's Wear Daily's Memo Pad, today we couldn't help but chuckle a bit at the second story. Bringing up the rear on the coverage of Hearst's "we're is the best company ever party" WWD gives us literally the only detail about the party we haven't heard yet. We heard about the Tower cocktails and the hot caterers
. But! We bet you didn't hear about his.

By now, everyone has heard the highlights from the Hearst Tower opening party held Monday night in New York — the glad-handing between every media mogul in town. Mayor Bloomberg. Cirque du Soleil-like dancers. Stevie Wonder. Cocktails.

But few know how the east facade of the building stayed candlelit for nearly six hours without burning down the brand-new house Hearst built. Bronson Van Wyck of event planning firm Van Wyck & Van Wyck confessed the candles were actually wax columns with LED lights. "We didn't want to have any risk of fire," he explained. "It's a grand opening and a historical experience for the company. We just didn't want to go there."

Wow! We had not heard about those Van Wyck "candles." And really? Somebody thought having a fire in the new building would have been a bad thing? That totally explains why they don't have big fancy events in the Conde Nast building. Surely there are people looking for any excuse to burn that place down.

After Party [Stephanie D. Smith, WWD]

It seems that the secret "Freeloader" over at Advertising Age wasn't the only non "editor or publisher" invited to the great Hearst gala on Monday night. The New York Observer's Michael Calderone was there as well, sipping "Towers" (cocktails of gin, lime juice and Champagne), eating cheese puffs, and schmoozing with the likes of Oprah and Katie Couric.

And, of course, Conde Nast publisher Si Newhouse was there, Seemingly, just to show face and gobble up some lobster consommé. And being his usually not-very-friendly self.

S.I. (Si) Newhouse was there. How did the ruler of the Condé Nast building like this new showpiece magazine headquarters? Mr. Newhouse smiled indulgently, gave the questioner a grandfatherly tap on the shoulder, and turned away.

How sweet. Well, we figure either Newhouse couldn't hear over all Oprah's hand clasping and shouting about her office, his mouth was full of finger food … or his mind was overwhelmed with notions of plotting Cathie Black's destruction.

Hearst So Good: Oprah Touches Gleaming Shaft at Gala [Michael Calderone, New York Observer]

We don't know what we're more confused about: this mysterious Ad Age "Freeloader" or the fact that we thought we knew who the only four reporters invited to this coushy/douchey "Hearst is amazing!" party last night.

But Ad Age does have a few little bits about the event. Who was there (Oprah, Richard Johnson, Helen Gurley Brown, Mayor Bloomberg); what they ate (pizza, curried chicken, and shellfish served by Ann Hathaway's stunt double); and which rival pubs showed up (Conde Nast).

And apparently some people were under the impression that this was a big, fabulous event.

Outside on Eighth Avenue, uninvited onlookers leaned on police barriers, asking what the party was about and who was inside. One was said to flash her breasts to a police officer in an unsuccessful bid to get in. "New York!" another yelled, apparently just pleased with the spectacle.

Yawn. Sounds like that party really sucked. We are so glad we had the "we weren't invited" excuse so we could stay home and watch Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.

Hearst Officially Unveils Its Contribution to New York's Skyline [Ad Age]

Last Friday, ABC threw a little party for Good Morning America staffers, including new additions Chris Cuomo and Sam Champion. Everything was all well and good (we presume) except for one little blip: Diane Sawyer was MIA.

ABC tells Rush & Molloy that Sawyer was sick. She landed back in NYC Friday after her Mel Gibson interview in L.A. (the first he's given since his DUI arrest) and was "sick in bed." GMA staffers, however, tell a different story.

One source says, "The staff took Diane's absence as a clear message she is leaving the show, and is slowly starting to separate herself from it."

That's so sweet. Those staffers sure are wishin' and hopin' and dreamin' and prayin' that Sawyer will get up and go already. The part where ABC says they were the ones who urged her not to come to the party doesn't really help the case either.

Side Dish [Rush & Molloy, Daily News]

• Annie Leibovitz shows us a side of her we never actually wanted to see.

• Yes, Bill O'Reilly gets invited to parties. If not many, at least the Fox parties.

• We find out just how sneaky Diane Sawyer can really be.

• Glamour makes it really, really hard to leave the house.

• Despite her visit to Africa, Madonna did not actually go there to adopt a baby. You'd think she would ever follow a trend she didn't actually start?

• We've had many heroes in our lifetime: Maggie Gyllenhaal, Strawberry Shortcake, Matt Drudge … yet, none of them quite compare to Shanna Moakler. She is definitely our number one right now.

• Us Weekly breaks up Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. Since nobody was really buying the whole engagement thing. Except Ken Baker of course. Yeah, literally.

• Who is this Little Miss Seventeen who thinks she has a chance in hell of both trying to sue Atoosa Rubenstein and getting a job in the media industry ever again.

• Jay McInerney officially retires Elaine's and Michael's.

• Betsy Burton jumps New York's ship for the new stellar start-up team of Time.

• The New York Times' Joe Sharkey goes through the hellish experience of being in a plane crash he may or may not have caused. And lives to tell us about it.

Always one to self-congratulate, Fox News tossed "fair," "balanced," and "and" to the wayside last night to throw itself a 10th anniversary bash. The red carpet was rolled out in front of headquarters at 1211 Sixth, and underneath a glammed-up tent Rupert Murdoch held court over minions Roger Ailes, Bill O'Reilly, Shep Smith, Bill Hemmer, Greta Van Susteren, Brit Hume, and Laurie Dhue. But there was more star wattage inside: Donald Trump, Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Governor George Pataki, Ann Coulter, Tiki Barber, and NYPD Commissioner Raymond Kelly all showed up to pay their respects. And so did we: Jossip loves a party that celebrates raping the competition into submission, so we grabbed photog Matthew Krautheim and hit the soiree. (Meanwhile, if there's a missing Fox News pillow, don't blame us.)

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We don't have a fucking clue what Brian Grazer is doing in New York, either.

With the launch of Culture + Travel from former Conde Nasty James Truman comes the requisite launch party for Culture + Travel — hosted by the Canadian billionaire publisher Louise T. Blouin MacBain (the LTB in LTB Holding), the dollar signs behind such indie titles like Art + Auction and, until just recently, Spoon. Last night's soiree at MacBain's swanky Richard Meier penthouse pad was a collision of media, Hollywood, architecture, PR, and fashion ego: David Carr, Michael Wolff, Lloyd Grove, Calvin Klein, Anthony Hayden-Guest, Brian Grazer, Deborah Schoeneman, Ben Widdicombe, Keith Kelly, Catherine Malandrino .. oh, and Nadine Johnson, the publicess who put all this together. To be sure, however, at least half the guests showed up just to scope the view. (Including, we think, our photog Matthew Krautheim.)

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Remember Bill "Nobody Wants Me" O'Reilly? Well, as it turns out, he actually attended a party last night. Of course it wasn't the same one we attended, but it was a party none the less. At the celebration of the most over-hyped magazine ever, O'Reilly accepted the invitation to down pomegranate martinis and chomp on foie gras while toasting the staff of Harvard's non-alumni magazine 02138.

A feature in the magazine's premiere issue identifies "The Harvard 100" — the school's most influential living alumni — and a number of the "100" were in attendance, including Fox News's Bill O'Reilly, constitutional scholar and New York University law professor Noah Feldman, and physicist Lisa Randall.

Though we have a pretty solid idea that nobody actually wanted him there either, we just wanted to point out that Bill O'Reilly is a liar. That, or, Harvard alumni figured that in two weeks, when nobody is ever talking about this magazine again, the fact that they invited O'Reilly to a soiree may just influence him to keep the good word alive.

New Magazine Celebrates ‘the Harvard Brand' [New York Sun]

It's not everyday former Daily News, Esquire, New York, and Newsweek editor Ed Kosner throws a book party. Well, actually, last night wast technically his second party for It's News to Me: The Making and Unmaking of an Editor — the first one was earlier this month in the Hamptons, next door to Mort Zuckerman. But this was his first and only party on the island (a fact we're basing on the "I'm only writing one book" comment he made to us), so of course we accepted an uber-exclusive invite to toast Kosner's editorial effort at the Adam Baumgold Gallery (read: small space, even smaller artworks) on the Upper East Side. What follows is our pictorial tale where Kosner's precocious daughter Lily pretends the event was more family reunion than book party.

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Since today is the day Radar brings up old news, we thought we would return the favor with a mention of the always-up-for-a-party-guy Maer Roshan. Abbe Diaz blogs on her PX This tablet about a very chicy party last night at DaSilvano for Marisa Acocella Marchetto's new book Cancer Vixen. Lots of media A-Listers were there, Paula Froelich hosted the event, and, Diaz spotted the dapper (and possibly wasted) Radar EIC.

and then right when this is happening i see maer-roshan stumbling across the street toward me (drunk already maybe?) so i call out "hi maer roshan!"

so maer-roshan pauses to shake my hand and i introduce myself but it didn't seem he recognized my name. which was pretty disappointing, considering all the hullabaloo over that time i saw him crying on UniversityPl wow my site stats sure went crazy that day! oh but i
digress.

yah so maer-roshan was really sweet and friendly though and he even said he likes my bike. oh and a friend of his came over to say hi too, but i didn't catch his name because he said it so quickly and i was just cordially introducing maer-roshan to marc-bagutta at that very
same moment. whoever he was, he was cute and sweet too he said "i really like your bike."

Oh, and we hear that nameless friend was none other than former staffer and current freelancer Drew Lee.

Anyways, we know this isn't super breaking news. But any chance to bring up the day Maer Roshan cried on his cell phone is a chance we'll take. Actually, we wish we could more often reiterate this day — especially opposed to the day David Zinczenko gave head to some LA chick.

Fri 9.22 [PX This]

• Hugo Chavez should just stick to his "President Bush is the Devil" stuff. [NYP]

• Finally, A fresh coat of Pepto Bismol for the pink house! Hoo-rah. We were so sick of looking at it's chipping exterior. [Gotahmist]

• Only a real estate blogger would describe Times Square's new Hawiian Tropic Lounge as "hooterific.' [NYO]

• We were literally the only people in New York media not at this party. Good times. [FBNY]

• This is the most New York thing ever: women who's greatest fears include failing their detox program. [Slate]