Sometimes when we read the name of Pat O'Brien — the veteran tabloid TV host — we say it, aloud or in our heads, the same way Conan O'Brien's announcer introduces him every night. Other times, we just go "Peh Eh-breh-en." Like we are this morning, having found out the man got himself fired by daring to criticize the soulless establishments known as Entertainment Tonight and The Insider, which, up until this week, employed him.

That said, if you're looking for a nice fun trip down Bad Memories Lane, recall February of last year, when gossip columnists insisted O'Brien was being fired, but rather than oust him, The Insider re-upped his $4 million contract (though forced him to take a pay cut).

Pat O'Brien, the anchor-cum-correspondent (that's a demotion) for The Insider, has a history with oversharing. Mostly, it's been in the form of voicemails, like when he tells a woman that he wants to get crazy, get some coke, and do things to her that eventually appeared in Verne Troyer's sex tape. And now, the sometimes-recovering alcoholic ups the ante with a staffer email that takes shots at Lara Spencer, who's solo-hosting the show after effectively pushing him out.

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Though insiders at, ahem, The Insider have been gabbing about it for the better part of the year, Lara Spencer's role as sole anchor of the tabloid show has been, nearly almost certainly definitely, been acknowledged by her employer CBS/Paramount. The two parties have inked a new deal, which has Spencer moving from NYC to LA for the fifth season's premiere, while one-time co-anchor Pat O'Brien, star of the most famous voicemail ever, who emerged from a second bout of alcohol rehab to play the role of special correspondent, alongside Victoria Recano and Steven Cojocaru, is officially pushed behind the scenes, where he can dial your voicemail box from the comfort of behind the curtain.

This is the first time either The Insider, or its parent Entertainment Tonight, have had a single host. (Both shows are exec produced by Linda Bell Blue.)

And when Spencer takes over as the show's solo lead, she'll also step onto a new set at the show's Los Angeles studio, which was crafted, supposedly, just for her.

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After his second stint in rehab, and Pat O'Brien is returning to co-host The Insider with Lara Spencer. The tabloid TV chatter classes grew worried when he finished he program, but then disappeared, albeit from grocery store sightings.

The Insider host is out of his second-in-three-years stint in rehab and has been spotted looking Nicole Richie kinds of frail and stocking up on junk food like Pringles and M&Ms, which will feed his sudden sugar addiction (being a recovering addict and all). As for his career, the tabloid show has yet to confirm that he's been asked to return. Might be in their best interest to get some mileage out of covering his story before allowing him back to work. [TMZ]

Leave it to The Insider to have the first report that their own host Pat O'Brien is … headed back to rehab! With fingers crossed that he won't be topping those coked-up voicemails, O'Brien returns, after three years on the loose, to join lovelies like Amy Winehouse, Kirsten Dunst, and Eva Mendes currently enjoying a cleansing retreat. We wish The Insider's ratings the best.

Timeline.

January 11: Radar's Jeff Bercovici gets some bad information and claims Pat O'Brien is being canned as host of The Insider.

February 8: We hear from a well-placed snitch that O'Brien is not out of a job. In fact, he's being resigned with a new contract.

Today: Ben Widdicombe confirms O'Brien has re-upped, "for a chunk less change. Also, he's moving to New York!"

Despite reports from Gatecrasher and Radar that Pat O'Brien is being ousted as the host of The Insider, an insider tells us he's not out of a job.

We hear Paramount plans to keep him around, resigning a version of his 3-year/$4 million contract, which should keep afloat his budget for leaving coked up voicemails.

• Oops, Britney's comeback song may have been leaked onto YouTube! Meanwhile, pregnancy rumors abound, mainly cause Brit is fat and 'vomits a lot.'

• Lindsay Lohan enters rehab, while Leslie Sloane Zelnik avoids calling it "bullshit."

• A judge sentences a penitent Naomi Campbell to 5 days of community service for brutally bashing her maid. And you thought our legal system didn't work!

• Breaking: It turns out that gay guys actually don't like it when their superiors accidentally-on-purpose drop things and then tell them to "bend over and pick it up."

• In a desperate plea to save his job, Pat "Let's Get Some Coke And Get Wild" O'Brien breaks a BS-sounding story about how Salma Hayek's dog saved her life.

• Julia Roberts' bun in the oven is reportedly a boy; We can't wait until she sells freely distributes pics of the adorable [insert WASP name *here*]

• Careerbuilder offers this helpful guide to become the Most Annoying Office Stereotype since Dilbert.

It's official. Pat O'Brien, (a.k.a. "King of the Drunk Voicemail") will be departing The Insider to explore his "wild" side when his contract runs out, most likely to be replaced from the much-less-wild Lara Spencer.

Although we assumed the "creepy mustache" was the driving factor in this decision, Dr. Phil apparently also contributed to O'Brien's image problem.

It was a mistake, the source says, to force O'Brien to talk about the scandal on Dr. Phil only a month after he went into rehab. "Paramount really fucked him over," he says. "He was 30 days sober, and all of a sudden he has to talk about this stuff on national TV. That's not a recovery plan."

Because typically, when celebrities screw up, they never simply issue a public apology and then check themselves into rehab.**

Which means, we had it right to begin with: creepy 'stache all the way.

**except for Mel Gibson, Michael Richards, Brandon "Beached Whale" Davis and pretty much everyone else we can think of.

• In the unbiased opinon of American Idol judge Simon Cowell, the legendary Bob Dylan pales in comparison to Kelly Clarkson.

• Don't expect Pat O'Brien's hosting contract to be renewed at The Insider. His bosses are citing his infamous drunk-dial as the primary reason, with his "creepy mustache" coming in at a close second.

• Drew Barrymore has possibly broken up with longtime beau Fabrizio Moretti; ironically, friends are citing the couples' past breakup history to predict that the pair will end up together.

• With or without his political playbook, Republicans don't think Rudy Giuliani has what it takes to blaze the campaign trail in 2008.

• Robin Williams wins over his critics by cracking hilariously irresistable jokes about lepers performing oral sex acts.

• Kelly Osbourne offers unsolicited, nude photos of herself in exchange for "major" amounts of Photoshopping.

• After weeks of battling it out in the headlines, Radio City Music Hall and the musicians' union have reached an agreement, bringing live music back to Christmas Spectacular as early as .. today. [NYDN]

• One day, hailing a cab will be as simple as pushing a button on your cell phone. Also appearing "one day": The Second Avenue subway line. Yeah, good luck with that. [NYT]

• It's not quite Perez Hilton mugging with Paris Hilton, but FishbowlNY's HuffPo-Gawker coverage comes off with just a touch of media celeb worship. [FishbowlNY, and more]

• You're not the only one tired of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey holding on to their all-but-kaput marriage. So is her publicist Brad Cafarelli, who dumped the dumb blonde. [Gawker]

• Leave it to the New York Times to muddy the "no obnoxious kids at the restaurant" story. [Chicago Reader]

• Are five cameras really necessary for one interview? Well, if you're going to capture all of Pat O'Brien's ego, then yes, yes, they are. [NYDN]

• At Chris and Irv (Gotti) Lorenzo's drug money laundering trial, if the money don't fit, you must acquit. [NYP]

• Congratulations, New Yorkers! Despite the small decline in the number of new HIV infections, city dwellers account for one in five new cases. Well done. [NYP]

• You've been waiting a while for it: Radar gets campy. [Radar]

After a five-year hiatus from television, Kathie Lee Gifford is set to make her return next month. If Teri Hatcher can return, anyone can, right?

Gifford will be covering Broadway as a special correspondent for Paramount's tabloid show The Insider, hosted by everyone's fav mustached rehabber Pat O'Brien. Producers think the time is right for Broadway coverage to be included in their show now that big name celebs, like Julia Roberts and Denzel Washington (and Rosie O'Donnell!) are taking to the stage. Because, as you know, this is something v. v. new.

Either way, it's great news for Kathie Lee because as Mark McGrath showed us, tabloid shows are where careers are resurrected.

· Brittny Gastineau might not be through with Paris Hilton's leftovers Nick Carter, but she's already letting post-rehab Pat O'Brien make passes. We're told she'll be out in Colorado shooting a new reality show with Fabian Basabe (think horses), so unless he's willing to jet on over, things will remain cool for at least a few weeks.

· New York Jets president Jay Cross is blaming the West Side Stadium's failure on both Cablevision, which spent tens of millions of dollars on a Madison Square Garden preservation marketing gimmick, and the New York Times - which he says ran 30 editorials against the Jets and just 11 regarding education during the past four years.

· London's Live 8 concert may still be the whitest black-focused concert yet, but Philadelphia's event just got a little more color with Destiny's Child joining the set. And then Linkin' Park said it's coming along too, which cancels out D.C.

· Oprah tops Forbes' Celebrity 100, where the A-list are ranked by power, followed by Tiger Woods and Mel Gibson, who took in $185 million last year thanks to The Passion of the Christ DVD sales.

· Tsunami model-survivor Petra Nemcova is making good on her promise to help out victims of the disaster that took her boyfriend Simon Atlee, returning to Thailand to plant palm trees and research the charities she'll work with.

· Somebody call the privileged police - someone's stealing signs in the Hamptons! Star Room has lost its driveway sign, and shiny-haired PR rep Jonathan Cheban is already claiming the theft was carried out by a club rival like Tavern.

· Lindsay Lohan's party planners must've forgotten about the most important part: her birthday gift bags for her fete this weekend. A publicist has been emailing product pushers begging for free goods deliveries.

· Only because it's Mary-Kate Olsen's 19th birthday do we let her off the hook for her seizure-dancing at Bugalow 8.

Just like our short "transcript" of the Pat O'Brien coked up voicemails we provided, Salon has on the bar a "transcript" of tonight's Dr. Phil primetime special.

So, if you're willing to give up your Wednesday for a veritable O'Brien blowjob ..

Dr. Phil: I know you want to deal with this straight up and be accountable for it so you can get back on the air where you belong as soon as possible, check local listings. And you know I don't throw softballs.

O'Brien: Yeah! I wanna go f***ing crazy with you!

Get excited, folks. But, you know, not so excited you do a line of coke and call a married woman's phone to leave disparaging voicemails. 'Cause that is, like, totally uncool.

It's The Insider vs. Access Hollywood, which is sorta like Star vs. Us Weekly but with moving pictures. With Pat O'Brien on the loose from rehab and returning to The Insider on May 5, it gave Access hosts Billy Bush and Nancy O'Dell perfect opportunity to launch a tirade, which is exactly what they did on last night's show, attacking their rival for airing their "exclusive" interview with Mary Kay Letourneau and former boytoy (and now fiance) Vili Fulaau.

The Insider paid $1 million for the interview, says Access, a feat apparently off-limits for entertainment/gossip shows with "journalistic standards." But the real scandal is why the Mary Kay story can still earn a seven-figure sum when there's A-listers (and newly dating) Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to bribe.

We knew Pat O'Brien's threeway sounded a little off.

Finally, Jen and Brad's breakup explained. Pat O-B ruins another marriage! (via Cityrag)

Meanwhile, Aniston is lashing out at the press for pushing rumors of a reconciliation. Well, not Aniston directly, but her publicist - but don't let this newspaper mislead you (emphasis ours).

But Aniston has finally spoken out about the persistent speculation in an attempt to stamp out the erroneous reports. Her spokesman Stephen Huvane says, "Nothing has changed with Jen and Brad. They're still separated. These are made-up stories and Jennifer doesn't feel the need to engage in the toxic practice of correcting non-stop lies. Their original statement announcing their separation still holds true.

Well thank you Jen, for clearing that up.

Oh look what just landed in our inbox: Pat O'Brien's coked up voicemails. (Okay, we've had it for a bit, but our legal team just cleared it.) A sampling of the saved messages:

I wanna fucking go crazy with you. … You are so fucking hot, and I wanna eat you, and I want you to suck my cock, and I want to fuck you. … Let's do it, you are so fucking hot, leave me a voicemail. I'm going to the bathroom, leave me a voicemail. … I told Betsy that you were into her. … I want to lick your pussy and make you cum so much. … I want you badly, I know you want me. … I am so fucking into you. You have to pay attention to Betsy, but let's have fun. I wanna fuckin' eat you and fuck you and suck your tits and watch you eat Betsy and lick your ass. I'm so fucking into you, it's incredible. Uhm, check this message, and then just say to me, "Yes." … I wanna fuckin' suck your pussy, talk dirty to you, watch you and Betsy eat each other, suck my cock, beat off onyour face. Get another woman up, hire a hooker. Let's get crazy, get some coke.

Download it here, winners.

The pieces are falling in to place for embroiled Insider host Pat O'Brien. The girl on the other end of his sexually explicit voicemails (and responsible for Pat's split from wife Linda) has been identified as Betsy Hoyt, whose father is Tony Hoyt. Sound familiar?

It should, because Tony has held the publisher spot at magazines like Redbook, Cosmopolitan - oh, and the National Enquirer and Star. Bonnie Fuller finally has a chance to get back on our good side: If she runs at least three items about O'Brien in as many weeks, we promise to kiss and make up. Or at least take her out for a 3-hour pedicure while her staff waits for her to finish closing edits.