Heather Mill's, that one-legged ex-wife of Sir Paul McCartney, spent most of this spring fighting in a bitter divorce settlement that left her way richer than she was before she met the Beatle. The former porn star was awarded $48.6 million, an insane amount but still only a fraction of what Mucca originally asked for ($250 million).
You guys remember this right? She poured a cup of water on her husband's attorney's head after it was all over? Super fun!
So what has Heather Mills been doing with all her cash? Keeping a low profile so to not attract any more press? Saving her money for a rainy day?
Haha, what, why would you ever think that:
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First we told you that Guy Ritchie stood to make $100 million plus from his divorce with Madonna. Then came word that, no, Ritchie wants "not one penny" of Madge's fortune. But if that's true, then why has Madonna acquired the services of Fiona Shackleton, Britain's shrewdest divorce attorney?
Today, new information about the still unfolding drama says that not only is Ritchie going after Madge's millions, under British law, he stands to see about 250 of them.
Were Ritchie to walk away from his marriage with a quarter of a billion dollars, it would be the most expensive celebrity divorce in recent history.
After the jump, more ungodly settlements.
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Now that Madonna and Guy Ritchie's marriage has gone the way of their Swept Away remake, let's look into how much rapidly devaluing cash and assets are going to change hands, shall we?
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Paul McCartney and Yoko Ono have had their squabbles in the past, but the musical legends are in agreement about one thing: author Philip Norman's gone too far.
Norman's new book, John Lennon: The Life, claims Lennon wanted to have sex with both his own mother and McCartney. And Ono and McCartney are pissed:
If you have to ditch your loudmouth celebrity client with whom you've represented through her messy divorce to a beloved pop icon because she's just too freaking much, what's the best way to do it?
By issuing one last press release on behalf of your client — about why you're quitting.
That's how Heather Mills' rep Michele Elyzabeth (who also reps Christian Audigier) just did it. Buzzwords: "Impossible person," "heated argment," "I cannot take anymore." CONTINUED »
You know what happens when you mess with Paul McCartney? Your dirty past, whether fact or fiction, comes back to haunt you. That's the lesson Heather Mills should be learning after she dared tempt fate, rebuffing her $50 million divorce settlement, which she has said was not enough after initially seeking $250 million, and trashing her ex-husband in the press
So how is Paul paying her back?
While it can't be confirmed, an item in today's Sun about Mills' past, as a call girl who played out lesbian scenes in front of wealthy clients willing to dole out $20k a night, looks suspiciously like a soiling campaign.
The charges arrive tonight in Heather Mills: What Really Happened, Channel 4's look into Mills' pre-McCartney years, with former call girl Denise Hewitt making the allegations that Mills was the original Ashley Alexandra Dupre. CONTINUED »
Worst ex-wife ever Heather Mills wants to prove Paul McCartney is worth $1.5 billion, not the $750 million the judge overseeing her divorce proceedings assumed. With just $48 million in her pocket post-judgment, and after screaming from the court steps "We all know he's worth £800million. He's been worth £800million for the last 15 years," she's hiring a team of forensic accountants to go through McCartner's financials — even though proving he's worth double what he claims likely won't affect the ruling.
Unsatisfied with her $48 million divorce settlement, publicity whore Heather Mills continues her assault on Paul McCartney. Her latest came not in an appearance on Britain's GMTV, but by statement (an "exclusive" for the show!) where she rails on the judge's decision to release the full proceedings of the divorce to the public, a violation of her privacy, she claims. Now that everyone can read up on her business, she fears for her daughter's safety, a new concern that never seemed to bubble up when she was making the media rounds hoping to drum up support for her attempt at $250 million.
With the full court proceedings of Heather Mills and Paul McCartney's divorce now available for all the see, it's time to put some things in bold. CONTINUED »
Heather Mills walks away from her marriage to Paul McCartney with $48 million. Not an insignificant sum, but she wanted more. Lots more. She was after $250 million. When McCartney's attorneys offered her $32 million at the start, she balked. So in the end, perhaps taking him to court was worth it, at least to the tune of $16 million. But now she's facing the wrath of the press: Both British and American gossips are on the attack, and she's got little to defend herself with, now that the entire divorce proceeding has been made public, as her ex-husband's request. Which means all of her antics, far beyond tossing a jug of water at opposing counsel yesterday, are now on the record for all to see. And the cost of repairing her public image will cost significantly more than her tidy profit, especially when she's up against a Beatle.
• Heather Mills apparently has recordings of Paul McCartney and his daughter Stella referring to her as a "one-legged bitch." Which kind of makes sense considering (a) she's actively trying to extort McCartney out of his money, (b) only has one leg and (c) was bitchy enough to go around taping her soon-to-be-ex-husband in preparation for the upcoming divorce settlement.
• Paris Hilton has lipstick in her teeth. Yikes! Clearly, this is, like, the most embarrassing thing that's happened to her mouth since Joe Francis.
Yesterday, former topless model Heather Mills (who is, perhaps, best known for her recent one-legged stint on Dancing With The Stars and her current full-time gig of trying to bleed ex-hubby Paul McCartney dry in the divorce settlement) has accused the British press of launching a "hate campaign" against her.
Surprisingly, her words were not particularly well received by the notoriously ruthless UK tabloids.
"HEATHER Mills wants to be played by Reese Witherspoon in the movie of her life, but she wants an unknown to play Paul McCartney, 65."
Which seems totally fair considering she's the former international superstar from the most popular/successful rock band of all time and he's just some one-legged schlub who married her for her money and tried to screw her in the divorce settlement. Oh, wait… [P6]
• One-legged philanthropist Heather Mills rejects Paul McCartney's paltry $41 million divorce settlement offer, but agrees to put 'all this pettiness aside' for the nominal fee of $102 million.
• In the philosophizing words of Cisco Adler, a pseudo rock star who has very strange-looking genitals, "I tend to find myself dating famous women sometimes. I just write dope songs and [bleep] hot bitches." Such is life.
• Kate Hudson "[bleeps] with the media" by only pretending to date a shirtless comedian, whose nose has never been broken and then pieced back together by a semi-drunk plastic surgeon.
• Steve Martin will finally marry his longtime girlfriend, former New Yorker writer Anne Stringfield, after rationalizing that she's a hell of a lot better than his ex-girlfriend, full-time crazy-person, Anne Heche.
We can't decide what's sadder.
The fact that Us Weekly's ruthless "fashion police" have wasted their time and energy critiquing the inadvertent faux pas committed by a 65 year-old former Beatle…or the fact that they couldn't even be bothered to get his name right in the process.
Paul and Heather Mills McCartney are only #6 on Forbes list of the most expensive divorces. Britney and Kevin didn't even make it; they can't even split up with dignity.
• Fame-seeking rapper Fabolous proves his namesake by posting bail with $15k in cash. [NYDN]
• O.J. Simpson nets $3.5 million to write a book where he only pretends to have killed Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman. [Scoop]
• Project Runway's winner was neither the straight-but-gay black guy or the pregnant white mama. [AP]
• Meanwhile, Bravo insists its new interior design show Top Design is not a spinoff of Runway. The formats are so different, minus the celebrity hosts, designing theme, contestant eliminations, and prize package. [Radar]
• Heather Mills ramps up accusations against Paul McCartney, claiming he stabbed her with a broken wine glass. Yes, but did he spill a drop? [Daily Mail]
• Kirsten Dunst flirts up ex-boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal, only to be informed his allegiance lies with Lance and Matthew. [P6]
• Paris Hilton understands she's a box office flop; refuses to attend own movie premiere. [P6]
Today the New York Times' Styles section actually spends a bit of time covering (wait for it) fashion. It's a miracle. And the fashion piece aren't even really trend pieces, but come to be this anomaly known as "fashion reporting." And one of these reported pieces is on 15-year-old model Chanel Iman.
Modeling, it seems, was her "birth right." She was born to walk runways, wear couture, and flip around at photo shoots in front of fans and stuff. And it's not just because her name is Chanel Iman either. She's gorgeous, and tall, and under 18. And under 110 pounds.
“I was at Stella McCartney’s show,” she said, “and I’m dying to go to the bathroom, and so I went up to this guy and asked: ‘Do you work here? Do you know where the bathroom is?’ I didn’t know it was Paul McCartney! I mean, I know who Paul McCartney is, but I didn’t know what he looked like.”
And it's not like "brain surgeon" was really a viable career option.
A Model From Day 1 [Eric Wilson, New York Times]
• We would so throw bottles at Brendan Urie too. Especially if it would wash off that stupid fucking eye-liner. [NME]
• So, who actually runs Beyonce's life? Because it's not Beyonce. [AOL]
• Mariah Carey claims not to be a diva, then demands Fiji water. From the top of Mt. Fiji. [Liz Smith]
• Dang! And we were so excited about buying those Taylor Hicks "the early years" songs on iTunes. [AP]
• Paul McCartney could care less about Heather Mills. The same now applies to minefields. [NYDN]
• We can't decide what's more freaky — a song dedicated to Maria Sharapova or that the song is pretty much a remix of a lyrical dedication to Anna Kournikova. How are these people allowed to make music? [Page Six]
• Paul McCartney locks Heather Mills out of his house. And she gets someone else to do her fence-climbing dirty work for her. [Lowdown]
• Pete Doherty and Mike Skinner, to the surprise of exactly no one, have had their fair share of drugs. And they're going to tell the world about it. Brits are charming aren't they? [NME]
• Mariah Carey vs. Madonna. One's fake-British, and the other's fake-ghetto fabulous. Get your popcorn out for this one folks. [MSNBC]
• Despite the fact that they no longer dress the same, don't really make songs together, and don't perform together much — Outkast hasn't broken up. [MTV]
Editorial Director
