• PerezHilton helpfully reminds us "who's who" in the Pitt/Jolie family by scrawling the first letter of Zahara, Brad, Angelina and Shiloh's names on their respective crotches. ZABS!

• Someone delivers Poo In A Box to Time Inc; staffers were all too bored to notice/care.

• A mom coached her two children to fake retardation; kids pulled it off by proclaiming Carrot Top to be "hilarious."

• Britney Shears becomes MySpace's newest (inadvertent) spokeswoman.

• Meanwhile, TMZ says Brit may be suffering from post -artum depression. Which is kinda hard to make into a one-liner, y'know?

CONTINUED »

• Perez Hilton founder Mario Lavandeira to be sued for posting topless Jennifer Aniston pics. When reached for comment, an unfazed Perez drew fake cocaine over the lawsuit and described it as "shiteous."

• Meet Dean Baquet, the "Barack Obama" of the New York Times. But will he or Jill "Hillary" Abramson take over for retiring exec editor, Bill Keller?

• Boston Globe stands by its decision to run trashy tabloid fodder about how Tom Brady dumped his preggers girlfriend.

• Weatherman Chris Knowles is leaving Fox News Channel, less than a week after hottie wife, Kiran Chetry, departed. Current outlook: Hazy, with a 60% chance of CNN.

CONTINUED »

Did you ever think about getting into the glamorous world of blogging? Ever wonder whether you had what it takes to sit in your pajamas, type furiously away on your laptop, and offer the world your snarky, unsolicited opinions about everything from politics to Britney's vag?

Well, don't.

Seriously, don't. Jeez, didn't you see that post yesterday about how bloggers don't make any money and are only read by members of their immediate families if that?

And now, Perez Hilton has come out and admitted that, in between doctoring borrowed photos with fake cocaine droplets, scoring free swag at Sundance and making out with Marc Jacobs' ex, he really and truly has no life.

Self-employed bloggers set their own schedules. Writers of breaking-news blogs say 40- to 60-hour workweeks are the norm. To scoop his competitors, Mario Lavandeira, author of the celebrity-gossip blog PerezHilton.com, says he averages 19-hour workdays that start at 5:15 a.m.

"I have no life," Mr. Lavandeira says. "I am always working, and I can never take a vacation." Adds Jeff Jarvis, who blogs at BuzzMachine.com, a site on news and the media: "Blogging is an obsession. The guilt that piles up when I'm too busy to write a post is the worst."

So take it from us, blogging just isn't worth it. At least that's what Mario Lavandeira keeps telling his B.F.F., Paris Hilton.

It's our week-long duty to bring you a taste of Sundance, which is sort of like Taste of New York, except with more free swag and movies nobody is seeing.

And speaking of movies – you know, the reason Sundance exists – we're told by one Sundance insider that "none of the celebs are here promoting their movies. Last year they all attended their screenings (at least premiere screenings) and this year there is almost nobody on the A-list that is attending those."

Change, as the kids say, is in the wind. Add to the fact that, as one source tells it, "the celeb scene is not so great this year," and it's a recipe for gossip disaster. Like the disaster of Diddy's performance at the MySpace party on Saturday night.

Meanwhile, we hear that there really is no reason to abandon NYC for Park City, since as of Sunday night:

Marquee was packed with the usual Monday night Butter scene (Scott Sartiano, Dhani Jones, top celeb publicists Greg Link of Fingerprint and Matt Hein of Eastside PR) while Tao was an overcrowded party with a rough crowd. Diddy was upstairs in VIP with an oversized posse, and the smell of pot the kept floating down to the main area seemed to be coming from their corner pretty consistently. Matisyahu (rappin' reggae rabbi) got on stage for an impromptu performance and did two songs. Perez Hilton was roaming around (soooo hard to miss with that obnoxious pink hair) and was attached at the hip to Mike Satsky, the owner of stereo. CT from the real world was wearing the one outfit that he always wears on TV and looked greasier than ever.

And … then?

The after party that everyone talked about was the Heineken Light karaoke party, and people left at 4 even though it didn't end til 5 (that's a bad sign since usually everyone milks the parties until they are done).

Elsewhere, our spies file:

• DJ AM, spotted everywhere with Mandy Moore, is actually here on business: he's spinning.

• Sienna Miller did an interview session at the Delta Sky Lodge, and Diddy proceeded to show up and persuade his way inside "because he wanted to see her."

• The PM house hosted an after hours party in Deer Valley "that was so high maintenance. Super exclusive and you had to take a shuttle to get there." Guests included Diddy, Jamie Lynn Spears, Damon Dash, Pharrell, Harvey Weinstein, Nick Cannon, Sienna Miller, Josh Hartnett.

• Among the most amusing movies that are screening: Farce of the Penguins, as March of the Penguins mock that was prescreened at the house of Fingerprint PR chief Greg Link. (Makes sense, since he had a few lines in the flick.)

• Vince Vaughn quietly drops his libel suit against the tabs, despite being repeatedly assured by friends that he's "money."

• Matt Lauer gives Katic Couric a thumbs-up, admits to watching her "sometimes."

• A man returns a library book that's 47 years overdue, saying, "57 years would have been ridiculous (Seriously).

• Everyone's dying to figure out the identity of this mysterious Conde Nast fashionista.

• Congratulations to Daily News gossip Ben Widdicombe, who capped off his birthday week with the premiere of his now-daily Gatecrasher column.

CONTINUED »

• Josh Hartnett and Scarlett Johansson refuse to let Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee retain title as most on-again-off-again couple

• Miami nightlife king and old Madonna pal Chris Paciello returns from 8 years in the slammer to pick up where he left off — in L.A.

• Nas opts for album title Michael Richards won't understand.

• Reichen Lehmkuhl turns his attention away from defending his relationship with Lance Bass and toward attacking celeb blogger Perez Hilton.

• When their powers combine, they are Captain Hollywood.

• Blame Michael Knowles for starting those Beyonce v. Jennifer Hudson rumors.

• Perez Hilton gets the Salon treatment.

• Paris Hilton clean up, for anyone? Uh, no.

• Taryn Manning throws down at Social Hollywood.

• Resse Witherspoon and Jennifer Garner do lunch. Obviously sleeping together.

• Star Jones, always a face for radio, is headed there.

• Brangelina still talking about having more kids.

• Elisha Cuthbert, the next panty-less photo victim?

• Paris Hilton may not be heading into space, but some celebs are worthy of time travel.

With tonight's Billboard Music Awards getting so much attention, it's hard to believe we can still focus on Saturday night's VH1 Big In '06 Awards (which, as we understand it, was aired Sunday night). We didn't see the show – we get it, YouTube was the shit this year – but word comes from paparazzi pals Open All Night that there was one interesting development on the red carpet: a photog boycott on celeb blogger Perez Hilton.

‘Twas the night before the VH1 Big in ’06 Awards, and not a camera was clicking when Perez Hilton walked the red carpet. VH1 thought enough of the gossip maven to invite him to present at their Big In ’06 Awards, but the blogger was less popular among the jeering photographers on the red carpet at Sony Stages on Saturday evening, when the award show was taped. The 57 credentialed photographers covering arrivals made a pact to refrain from shooting Hilton’s red carpet walkthrough; lenses remained at half-mast, and some booed as the gossip sheepishly slunk by.

Though, as you can tell from this photo posted on PerezHilton.com, someone was shooting the media "queen." And, as you can tell from this photo, it was not a professional.

• Gwyneth Paltrow pulls a Madonna and puts British culture on a pedastal above American.

• Keith Urban is out of rehab and back to brunch with Nicole Kidman.

• Paris Hilton ditches Kim Kardashian for being too popular.

• Tracey Morgan disinvited from Christmas tree lighting by Mayor Bloomberg for all those DUIs.

• Marc Jacobs' ex-boyfriend and former rentboy Jason Preston spotted making out with Perez Hilton, the celeb blogger who claims his sex life is nonexistant.

• If Nikki Finke is to be believed, the flick from the anti-Semitic actor-producer is going to perform better than a feel good movie about killing for diamonds.

• Jake Gyllenhaal finds love with a M.M. that isn't Matthew McConaughey?

• CBS's new comedy Fugly is part The Swan rip-off, part Ugly Betty rip-off.

• Jon Friedman names NYT columnist Nick Kristof his Print Journalist of the Year. Must've been that LX.tv interview.

• Rod Stewart and Rachel Hunter finalize their divorce. It only took seven years.

• Ethics class cheats on test. Obvious irony — plus, it was a pass-fail course.

• Disgraced and deceased former NYT managing editor Gerald Boyd gets 11 paragraphs of niceties before a mention of that Jayson Blair incident.

• The paparazzi agencies suiing Perez Hilton are now facing the backlash from, you guessed it blogs. Except Culture Kitchen's rationale makes quite a bit of sense.

• It's fun laughing off Danny DeVito's drunken View appearance as just a guy who "had one too many."

• Debra Schoeneman is the latest Portfolio hire. Well, contributing editor, at least.

The lawsuit filed by paparazzi agency X17 against celeb blogger Perez Hilton isn't the only round of copyright infringement entertainment headed your way. Now a consortium of photog agencies, led by Splash News, are taking the No. 1 publicist frenemy to court. Flanked by INF, Ramey, Bauer Griffin, WENN, Most Wanted, and Flynet, this seven-some claim to have "spent the last few weeks conferring over how to stop Hilton. In an unprecedented co-operation between paparazzi and showbusiness agencies, the heads of the agencies agreed to take action." But isn't Perez protected under the satire defense by drawing coke dots and drool on their pictures?

Like Bloomingdale's getting ready for the holiday season months ahead of time, so too is paparazzi agency X17. They're bringing Christmas to the gossip masses early in the form of the much-talked-about, yet-to-be-filed copyright infringement lawsuit against blogger Perez Hilton. Well, that yet-to-be-filed business seems to be over: According to X17's press release, they've gone ahead and filed paperwork with the courts (and not, as a previous video suggested, simply showing up at The Coffee Bean with a manilla envelope like Splash News did).

They're looking "over $7.5 million in damages" for the wrongdoings of Perez, aka Mario Lavandeira. They go on to quote revenue levels and traffic data that may or may not be accurate, but that they're certainly jealous of: X17 has launched its own celeb blog, of sorts, which they're touting as their latest source of revenue. Except that as soon as they prohibit celeb blogs from using their photos, they should also expect all the linking to X17Online.com to end. But certainly a settlement with Perez can make up for any losses.

The full release after the jump.

CONTINUED »

• Sure, Dreamgirls is going to be an Oscar shoe-in. But we can wait a few weeks for the tickets to drop from $25.

• Revamping the TWA terminal at JFK sounds as plausible as Moynihan Station ever coming to fruition.

• Marc Jacobs follows Karl Lagerfeld's lead and cleans up his act.

• Reader's Digest pricetag of $2.4 billion doesn't even require the large-print edition to be shocked.

• Radar's Tyler Gray continues the Perez Hilton beat with news of three-pronged attack by paparazzi agency Splash.

• Not surprisingly, the family of Ron Goldman find O.J. Simpson's book smarmy and disgusting.

Is Perez Hilton's reality show keeping a dream alive? After our report yesterday that VH1 had passed on the lackluster production, a tattler speaks up from inside the MTV talent factory and claims the home of Best Week Ever hasn't officially passed on the show yet — but there's been no deal signed. This latest bit of information places Perez's deal in the "in talks" stages (where it's languished for months), though another source claims VH1 turned its back as far back as last month.

Either way, there is one huge concern at the network: Perez's outing of gay celebrities. An insider tells us MTV brass is furious that he continues tormenting the likes of Lance Bass, T.R. Knight, and Neil Patrick Harris — and it could be a deal breaker. The blogger (real name: Mario Lavandeira) is pissing off execs on personal and professional levels: Not only are many of the decision makers gay themselves, but they're worried about connecting the MTV family to someone who makes a living off forcing red carpet walkers out of the closet, and how that could impact their congenial relationships with powerhouse publicists and agents.

And just imagine the possibility of parodying Perez on BWE suddenly being off limits!

Exclusive

Not only did professional hanger-on Perez Hilton get served with court papers from the paparazzi this week – in public, no less, but then again he does work at The Coffee Bean – we hear the celeb blogger's reality show recently got the shaken head from VH1. And, from what we understand, VH1 isn't the first network to say no to the production. How come they passed over Perez? One TV insider tells us, in no uncertain terms, that the footage "sucks" and that "the big celeb he has on the show is his songwriter friend Diane Warren. Apparently when they realized the celeb factor is pretty C-list, they head to Miami to do segment with Gloria Estefan." Meanwhile, our source says VH1 has cut him from the network almost entirely. No reality show gig, no talking head gig. Luckily, there's always YouTube. Says one insider: "Kharma really is a bitch. Or as Perez would probably opine, 'Kharma is a cunt.'"

Let's go to video, people. The day many of you have been waiting for has arrived: Perez Hilton gets served by the paparazzi agency. At his office (i.e. The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf). And, like good paps, they're there to document it.

Our Web staff is seven people. The Web has absolutely changed how we do things — we are constantly refreshing Perez Hilton, Gawker — but there will continue to be a print magazine. Us packages celebrity news in a way that the Web can't. I mean, I love Perez, but this is a guy who draws cocaine sprinkles falling out of celebrities' noses and writes things like 'sucks d*ck' on pictures of celebs he wants to out.

That's Us Weekly's Janice Min on how she's coping and competing in the era of the celebrity blog.

And this? This is the regularly-wrong but visually-enticing chart from Alexaholic, comparing traffic to Us and Perez. Time for Us' art department to break out Microsoft Paint.

• Atoosa Rubenstein's personal goodbye is posted, of course, on her MySpace page. [MySpace]

• People supposedly paid $1 million for Anna Nicole Smith's wedding-at-sea photos. Entertainment Tonight, meanwhile, got the C-section video for the same price. [NL]

• The string of events leading to Britney and Kevin's divorce might be in the liner notes. [MollyGood]

• Some topics are just too controversial for chyrons. [TVN]

• More college newspaper plagiarists .. from premiere j-schools. [Daily Northwestern]

• Guess what, chicken butt? You're paying for MSNBC's move to 30 Rock! [Radar]

• Perez Hilton claims to be an outsider in the celebrity game, which might explain why he spends so much time alone, leaning against the wall at parties. [AP]

• If the city is going to implement walk signals that count down the seconds you have before oncoming traffic becomes your enemy, it should first learn the difference between red and orange. [NYM]

• In a surprising twist of fate, it was Whitney Houston who wowed at Barbara Davis' annual Carousel of Hope ball, while Ivana Trump had to be removed for being a wee bit too intoxicated. [R&M]

• X17 leads the paparazzi and tabloid charges in a possible lawsuit against blogger Perez Hilton. [Radar]

• Angelina Jolie readies the legal clan to sue the director of a Cambodian charity she's accusing of stealing funds. [Reuters]

• Madonna's adopted baby hopeful David is already joining the Kabbalah cult. [Scoop]

• Scientologists can aim their thetan meters at Paula Redstone, who planted the sour seed on Tom Cruise that eventually brought Sumner's distaste. [Page Six]

• Roger Friedman claims he had the Reese Witherspoon-Ryan Phillippe breakup scoop weeks ago — but decided not to run it. [Fox 411]

The Perez Hilton copyright saga continues today, with one of the burgeoning paparazzi agencies re-joining the ranks of those taking direct aim at the celeblogger. Yesterday, TMZ posted video of a photographer chewing out Perez (aka Mario Lavandeira, a sometime friend and client of Jossip*) on the red carpet of a XBox 360 party, furious over Perez's alleged photo theft and ravenous copyright infringment. The photog, identified as Todd Williamson of paparazzi agency FilmMagic, has become an insta-hero among the denizens of Perez Hilton Haterville (population: nearly 100 percent of Hilton's readership, it seems). Williamson is one of the few ballsy enough to public attack Perez, who is on the receiving end of more and more slams from photo outfits and tabloid magazines.

Also on that list of the unhappy: X17, the paparazzi outfit who may have been the first to openly slam Perez. Those two parties got into a spat after X17 reversed its policy of providing photos (albeit watermarked versions) to blogs gratis; Perez began a firey email exchange in response. Yesterday afternoon, X17 updated their stance on their favorite foe:

It's still beyond me how anyone can think that what PerezHilton is doing is right or legal or ethical or whatever, but apparently there's still one believer, the faux-blonde dork himself! He makes his living off posting stolen images on his site and he thinks that just because other blogs do it too, that makes it okay.

Heads of several papazzi agencies, their their senior level aides, and many a freelance photographer have spoke to us, off the record, on many occasions of their hatred for Perez. At the Reuters panel earlier this month, Star editorial director Bonnie Fuller directed some of her talk time toward bloggers who flout copyright law. And elsewhere, the requisitite "Fuck Perez Hilton" blog has popped up.

Now we just need one of those fancy countdown clocks (that Us Weekly has made such good use of in its Vaughniston coverage) to tick away the minutes before a formal lawsuit is filed. We'll now begin accepting bets on whether it'll be X17, FilmMagic, Splash, or (just for good measure) Sunset Photo who files first.

Earlier: Perez Hilton Doesn't So Much Defend Copyright Infringment As Admit to It

* In the interest of full disclosure, Jossip is acquainted with Lavandeira. We designed his website PerezHilton.com, for which we were paid a small fee. We also receive a portion of his advertising revenue through Blogads.