• Forget Wilmer Valderrama (we already did, hopefully Star will too). Lindsay Lohan is looking to potential Oscar winner Joaquin Phoenix to advance her own career with some professional canoodling. [Life & Style]
• NYU wants to put up a 26 story dorm building, which would be the tallest in the East Village. It's actually a nice holiday present for East Villagers, giving them something new to bitch about. [Curbed] • Michael Jackson's pill popping in Bahrain is out of control, and it's got his family in a tizzy of worry. La Toya's identity crisis, meanwhile, goes unnoticed. [NYDN]
• Still hot off the success of Passions of the Christ, Mel Gibson inked a production deal with ABC to create a Holocaust mini-series. Yes, this is the same man whose father said the Holocaust never happened. [NYT]
• Peter Braunstein's newest flashy plaything isn't a fashion editor but a U.S. marshal's badge. [NYDN] • At last, a magazine for moms who choose to stay home. Those made up NYT stories about the growing trend (among the wealthy, at least) sure make a sound business plan. [Salon]
• Real people: They're just like stars! [Cityrag]
• Regis & Kelly make Lindsay Lohan sick. After partying at the premiere of that giant monkey movie, she bailed on the stodgy morning chatfest. Miraculously, she recovered later on to appear at the much hipper TRL, where the demographic skews much more in her favor: young and insecure about themselves. [The Scoop]
• Peter Braunstein's victim (a former W staffer) at has hired legal help to keep the media from revealing details about her identity, from where she works to where she lives. And that she ever had sex with Peter Braunstein. [Radar]
• Britney Spears' solution to keep Kevin Federline at home? Designate a "Britney and Kevin" day, where it's just the twosome and their newborn spawn. Too bad those pesky drug dealers showed up and spoiled it all. [Marc Malkin]
&bull Paris Hilton shops. Paris Hilton doesn't drop. [Page Six]
• Logo is finally getting around to producing a gay dating show. It really has been too long since Boy Meets Boy. [La Dolce Musto]
• Wacky newlyweds Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese have all the ingredients for a blissful union: bondage, spanking, blood, and asphyxiation. [R&M]
• Eminem is taking a breather from music, but not from ex-wife Kim Mathers. The rapper is back with his famous feuding partner and says they're likely going to remarry, which he'll then go on to record an album about. [AP]
• He lost $150,000 that he never paid, but Mischa Barton's on-again off-again fling Brandon Davis recouped $100,000 of it at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, sticking it to owners the Morton family, friends of his that fell out after the debt went unpaid. [Page Six]
• Howard Stern says he isn't pulling in the reported $500 million from Sirius. That figure is far too large; it's more like $480 million. [R&M]
• Lindsay Lohan and Wilmer Valderrama are said to be on the verge of rekindling their romance. That is, Star magazine is hurting for a story this week. [Star]
• Village Voice editor Don Forst is resigning from his post, effective Dec. 31. Nice ouster, New Times. [Gawker]
• Speaking of indie mergers, we seem to have missed the New York Blade getting together with HX. Gay marriage, at last. [NY Blade]
• To save Bryant Park from miscreants, the city formed the nonprofit Bryant Park Resotration Corporation. Funny, then, that the place is now being run like a business. [NYT]
• In-flight magazines are not, as it turns out, merely glorified sky malls. But they are in danger of going down without landing gear. [Mediabistro]
• Somehow, Simon Dumenco continues getting paid for screaming at his TV. [AdAge]
• Thanks to designers willing to let socialites borrow party dresses, the B-list never has to wear the same thing twice. [NYT]
• With the creation of "verified" circulation, magazine publishers receive the affirmation they've been looking for: to grotesquely inflate their readership numbers. [Folio]
• With ex-WWD scribe and alleged Halloween rapist Peter Braunstein being spotted throughout Ohio, all those sightings in NYC (like that Brooklyn cafe) are being labeled wishful thinking. [NYDN]
Once the territory of smack swindlers and lady hustlers, the disposable cell phone has enabled Peter Braunstein to phone his ex-girlfriend who fingered him as a suspect in the Halloween rape Lindsay Lohan made so famous.
Now that he's in Ohio – frequenting strip clubs and telling people he's, ahem, scouting location for a movie he's producing – Braunstein has been dialing the ex-lovely he was on probation for terrorizing.
Investigators believe Braunstein, 41, blames her for identifying him as a likely suspect in a horrific Halloween sex attack - so cops have warned her not to answer her phone and to stay off the Internet.
It's not like a W editor needs to bother herself with such useless technology, anyhow. That's what assistants are for.
Throwaway cell phones creep's modus operandi [Alison Gendar, NYDN]
• Paula Abdul is excited about the "male talent" on American Idol's fifth season. Fox execs ready "quoted out of context" statement. [Reality Blurred]
• With the Dept. of Justice's seal of approval, the New Times has bought the Village Voice. Or the Village Voice bought the New Times. Whatever happened, they're becoming an "integrated" indie publisher from here on out. [Gawker]
• That hate male you just shot off to NBC anchor Brian Williams? Yeah, he's replying to it right now. Check your inbox. [USA Today]
• Peter Braunstein's alleged Halloween rape victim is still too frightened to return to her flat, choosing instead to couch hop among friends — probably until the ex-W scribe who refuses to leave the city is caught. [NYDN]
• Bed bugs are back in town and, like HIV, they don't discriminate based on class, race, religion or celebrity. [NYT]
• Thanks to Fox's new satellite reality channel, the unaired 2003 dating series Playing It Straight – where women were wooed by both gay and straight suitors – has found a new home. But you can bet that if the gays can't even find Logo on the dial, they're not going to find this channel. [Newsday]
• Young men aren't up all night just masturbating. They're watching TV, too, and marketers are starting to pay attention. And bring Kleenex. [NYT]
• From the listserv that we dare not speak its name comes word that Domino's editor in chief Deborah Needleman is looking for an intern to play executive assistant. Keep in mind: Deborah already has an executive assistant.
Continuing the trend we started, uh, last week, we're pleased to bring you our second edition of "New York for New Yorkers," wherein Intern Wendy breaks down the magazine's contents so you can choose the 50 words worth reading.
This week's New York seems to have a theme: telling us stuff we already know.
• Vanessa Grigoriadis has jumped on the Peter Braunstein bandwagon. Her shocking revelations? He's a former W magazine employee with a shoe fetish who went psycho. Well, yeah. [Sex and the City: The Horror Movie]
• David Bloom offers up CNN president Jon Klein's musing about the decline and fall of anchors within five years. Blame your iPod, or Anderson Cooper. [Anchor Roulette]
• John Heilemann has good news and bad news. The bad: Google is taking over the world (or at least the book publishing industry). The good: this may spare us from the next tomes by "authors" Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. [Googlephobia]
• Duff McDonald tells of a dilemma Jossip staffers can relate to: carving up $11 billion in bonus money among those starving urchins at Goldman Sachs. [Please, Sir, I Want Some More.]
• Ted Koppel has anger issues? If we were being replaced with Martin Bashir, so would we. [Koppel’s Therapy]
• Peter Bacanovic, you've just been released from home confinement! Where are you going to next? The ballet, natch (even though it's City Ballet, not his preferred ABT). [On the Town with Peter Bacanovic]
• The Shops at Columbus Circle truly do offer one stop shopping. Besides browsing at Borders and buying undies at Calvin Klein, you can make new "friends" in the men's room. [Triple-X Scenes From a Mall]
• Strummer Hoffston offers a whiny Q&A about how it's hard to be a bohemian in New York — and just in time for Rent! [The Look Book]
This Week's TOC [New York]
Earlier: New York for New Yorkers: Who's WTO is it?
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie enjoyed their first "official public appearance as a couple. And by "public" we mean avoiding the red carpet and slipping inside through a back door. [Star]
• Us Weekly is claiming firsties on Christina Aguilera's marriage to music exec Jordan Bratman. The weekend wedding in Napa was absolutely start studded — Sharon Stone was there, and so was Aguilera's manager Irving Azoff! Paparazzi frenzy, narrowly avoided. [Us Weekly]
• So desperate to get on The Ellen Degeneres Show, ex-Cosmopolitan editor Helen Gurley Brown hired a choreagrapher and cameraman to tape her dancing to Andrew Lloyd Webber, which will make a great reel at the next Cosmo lunch. [Gatecrasher]
• If Nelly is going to drop $10,000 at a strip club, he can certainly afford to drop $10,000 on charity. Hooray for guilty consciouses. [Page Six]
• Jay-Z is putting the finishing touches on his Tribeca penthouse, which he had to fight to buy last year thanks to wary tenants. But it was worth the fight: He'll be able to escape his Time Warner Center pad, which counts girlfriend Beyonce's mom Tina as a neighbor. [R&M]
• The NYPD might not know who Peter Braunstein is, but they do know he's been caught. You know, except he's hasn't. [Gatecrasher]
• Kelly Osbourne is furious at Stavros Niarchos for ruining her 21st birthday bash in Vegas by pulling the sprinkler lever. Oh the irony of Kelly calling Stavros a stupid rich kid with too much money. [Page Six]
• Some say CBGB's is moving to the Hard Rock Hotel in Times Square, but owner Hilly Kristal wouldn't know about it. Either way, we walked past it one night this weekend — and the crowd that spilled out onto the sidewalk didn't exactly indicate an eviction notice. [Lowdown]
• Nick Lachey + porn star = Tabloid heaven. [Page Six]
• Surprise: Whacked out Joaquin Phoenix skipped another Walk The Line event. [Page Six]
You probably heard over the weekend that Peter Braunstein – everyone's favorite (alleged) writer-cum-rapist – dished out more than $500 since August on eBay, with purchases ranging from an expired police badge to, ahem, nearly nine pounds of potassium nitrate. Yes, that's enough to blow up a small building.
Among gulagmeister's purchases:
• ONE BADGE/I.D./ HOLDER/WALLET CASE/LEATHER LIKE/ NEW.
• ONE Nip/Tuck: The Complete First Season (2004, DVD)
• ONE OBSOLETE POLICE BADGE
• 8.8lbs Potassium Nitrate (saltpeter) HighGrade
• ONE SET OF FIREFIGHTER BUNKER TURNOUT GEAR PANTS
But if there is one thing we can say about Braunstein is that he's a good eBayer.
One hundred percent positive feedback? Surely there's goodness in there .. somewhere.
Fake Fireman A 'Bomb' Buyer [NYP]
gulagmeister [eBay]
• At least Lindsay Lohan's rep, uber-publicist Leslie Sloane Zelnik, had the balls to admit her client was duped into some phone flirtation (and nearly meeting up at Bungalow 8) with a fake Jason Lewis. But let's just be honest here: Lindsay doesn't care that the Sex and the City star is already dating Rosario Dawson. [Lowdown]
• Kanye West isn't as will to support the gay minority as he is the black minority. While he's fine wailing on President Bush for his oppressive policies, the rapper isn't ready to step up for the homos — but thanks to his interior decorator, he's learning to see the light. [Lowdown]
• Ever since Kate Moss' cocaine dust up, ex-boyfriend Pete Doherty has been dodging press reports as well. But the bad karma has reached Hedi Slimane, who canned full publication of a Doherty photo book. Though his camp claims the 750 copy initial printing was all that was ever intended. Sure. [Radar]
• Peter Braunstein's frightening emails to the ladies of media are so profane that the NYPD's email filters have kept authorities from circulating them, forcing them to resort to – gasp! – faxing them around. [Lowdown]
• VH1's Ant almost got exterminated by Victoria Gotti. After he compared her son Carmine's crooning to a cat being stuck in a muffler during a taping of But Can They Sing?, mommy Victoria was ready to squash him — though producers managed to have him escorted by security. [Page Six]
• Kate Moss Watch&trade: Things are looking up for Kate. First Cavalli and now the 2006 calendar by Pirelli, who was among the first to defend her cocaine cause. Things are looking up for buyers, too: Flip to May for a topless Moss shot. [The Sun]
• More evidence that Al Reynolds is just a puppet that Star Jones wields: No matter where he is, the pose never changes. [Cityrag]
Ex VVer and WWDer Peter Braunstein was this close – this close! – to being apprehended yesterday when he stopped by Brooklyn coffee shop Original BoCoCa Cafe & Coffee House to order, you guessed it, coffee!
The shop owner, John Arena, recognized the alleged rapist almost immediately (thanks for all the flyers posted 'round town), exchanged one of those "I know who you are and you know that I know who you are" looks and then, like a good food service industry employee, served him his coffee. He likes it with milk, we hear.
By the time Arena checked a newspaper to verify his photo and ran outside to flag down a police van, Braunstein was gone, though a police dog tracked his scent to a nearby brownstone that turned up empty.
Arena's ability to get his coffee shop mentioned in nearly every metro news outlet, however, turned up successful.
Manhunt Comes Up Empty [NYDN]
• The potential of a weekly lads mad from Keith Blanchard (now at Hearst) makes our nether regions tingle, though the actual possibility of such a glossy hitting newsstands puts the "icy" in IcyHot. [NYDN]
• After making the mistake of dating him, Peter Braunstein's ex has made the smartest decision of her career: to hide. [R&M]
• In new court papers filed in the bitter custody battle between Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger, big brother Baldwin claims Kimmy is turning their daughter Ireland against him and convincing her to spy on her daddy during visits — a torture nobody deserves, let alone his own daughter. [TMZ]
• If you're actually willing to engage in the commercial madness that is Black Friday, you should at least know if that shitty DVD player is cheaper at Wal-Mart or Target. [NYT]
• Somewhere, somehow, there might be a Cary Grant that is not "the actor." [OINY]
• Paris Hilton's kinkajou may be delivered from starlet hell sooner than we thought. Turns out keeping the little guy is illegal in both California and New York and now PETA has joined in the "Free Baby Luv" movement. [NYP]
• How to pick up waitresses, by Tommy Lee: Stiff 'em when it's tip time, have them race to a roadie for compensation and offer them "compensation" of pot and partying with the tattooed tightwad. So far, no takers. [Lowdown]
• Extra's Mark McGrath has an original approach to getting exclusives on Pam Anderson: shack up with her. One glitch: If size matters, Tommy Lee definitely has him beat. [Page Six]
• Canned Desperate Housewives actor Page Kennedy is refuting rumors he got dumped for exposing himself on the set. Apparently such a reputation is damaging. [Sun-Times]
• Page Six isn't making friends with its Peter Braunstein coverage, getting rape victim advocacy groups in a tizzy over their near reveal of his victim's identity. But hey, Peter Braunstein's not making us friends either. [NYDN]
• Heidi Fleiss is getting back to her roots, only this time she'll be whoring out men to an all-female clientele. In Vegas. [People]
• The good news: Someone actually doesn't want to party with Jessica Simpson! The bad news: It's her TV husband Nick Lachey. To the despair of OK! Magazine, Lachey nixed a big birthday blowout, opting instead for a quiet dinner. [The Scoop]
• Brittany Murphy's stairwell cater waiter tryst didn't sit well with her agent at ICM or her manager — so they both dumped her. [Radar]
• Not that Julie Blackman did her job as a jury consultant, but she feels she's still entitled to $74,000 in unpaid legal bills from Martha Stewart. [NYDN]
(Left: Peter Braunstein; Right: David Krumholtz)
You know David Krumholtz from such scintillating films as Santa Clause 2 and Slums of Beverly Hills (okay, okay, he was also in The Mexican and Ten Things I Hate About You). But soon, when Dick Wolf & Co. turn their attention to a "ripped from the headlines" Law & Order episode, you're going to know him as television's Peter Braunstein.
Or maybe, just maybe, Suzette Couture of Martha, Inc.: The Story of Martha Stewart fame will turn him into a TV movie prince.
And then, well, he'll go back to Numb3rs.
David Krumholtz [IMDB]
Related: All Peter Braunstein coverage
• Crack and meth addicts, along with alcoholics, may actually perform better than non-users in the workplace. [Under The Counter]
• The Wall Street Journal's list of influential blogs, alas, doesn't include this website. But at least we get to complain about white male Jews unable to break through the glass ceiling. [WSJ]
• Maybe Peter Braunstein has more in common with the rest of us than we thought. His marriage to the love of his life ended in shambles, Just Like Us! [NYP]
• We stopped TiVoing Tyra Bank's chatfest weeks ago, but we're definitely tuning in on Friday for her televised confrontation with Naomi Campbell. [People]
• The Firm is none too happy with Orlando Bloom, claiming he stiffed them on $600,000 in fees from the sequels to Pirates of the Caribbean, along with Elizabethtown and Kingdom of Heaven. [TMZ]
• What do you think tipped off Inside TV staffers that something was amiss? Perhaps Gemstar CEO John Loughlin's split for Hearst. Maybe? Yes? [FWD]
Poor Alberto Braunstein. He may be the estranged father of alleged rapist Peter Braunstein and run a posh art gallery in Manhattan, but let's not forget: The man must've fucked up his son somehow.
He went on CNN last night (we think it was CNN, and we think it was last night, despite the NY1 screengrab) to tell his side of the story — a story, if you haven't been paying attention, that so far includes a firefighter costume, rape, Page Six, Women's Wear Daily, the subways and, of course, Lindsay Lohan.
Alberto says he read about the Chelsea rape before he knew his son was a suspect and, in regard to whether he believes his son is guilty: "To a certain extent, I have to say I don't believe everything I read in the paper."
Us either, and then we saw Demi and Ashton actually did get married.
Just yesterday, Page Six had a field day ringing out suspected rapist Peter Braunstein. Richard Johnson & Co. relived his sordid history, from his alleged recent Chelsea rape to his list of women to punish. Nobody's a fan of Peter's, not even his former WWD colleagues.
But at one time, Peter did have some support — and it was none other than Page Six.
Nope, this isn't the Sixers' first run in with Braunstein: It was only last year they let Braunstein defend himself in a Jan. 4, 2004, item in what became a very public feud with his then girlfriend, W beauty editor Jane Larkworthy.
Yep, the same Jane Larkworthy that's rumored to be the one who tipped off police that Braunstein was a likely suspect in the Chelsea rape.
But back in 2004, Page Six let Braunstein paint Larkworthy as the crazed girlfriend who clawed at the man now known as the "Fakest Bravest." A decision they now regret, we're sure.
Says the item:
Braunstein relates that after the couple had sex on Nov. 22, "I was lying on the couch in the living room and I felt something scratching my chest - like a cat's claw.
"I looked up and she was wearing a blue Victoria's Secret teddy and high heels, and she was scratching me. She ran into the bathroom. Then I started freaking out and holed myself up in the bedroom. I barricaded myself in there. Then I heard her leave, and about 20 minutes later two cops were banging on my door.
He went off to the "loony bin" for two hours for questioning, which included queries into Jane's "psychological history."
Braunstein claims Larkworthy was jealous of the attractive young actresses he was meeting while casting his upcoming off-Broadway play, "Andy and Edie," about doomed Warhol muse Edie Sedgwick.
To recap: Last year Page Six loves 'em some Braunstein. This year? Eh, not so much. We just hope Larkworthy will finally return their calls.
The full item from last year, after the jump.
Rape Suspect's 'To Punish' List [Page Six]
CONTINUED »
Police were hot on the trail of alleged firefighting rapist Peter Braunstein — until their big lead expired. Literally. The fuzz had been tailing the former WWD journo thanks to a MetroCard he purchased with a credit card, which let them track each swipe. (Yes, even suspected rapists don't jump the turnstile.)
But for some reason not entirely explained, it takes hours for that swipe to be tracked back to the correct station. So unless Braunstein stuck around to listen "Smells Like Teen Spirit" hammered out on a stack of buckets (and the "Seven Nation Army" encore), they were out of luck.
But the 5-0 do know this: Braunstein is only traveling in daylight. And, as you might know, that's the portion of the day when the sun is shining, which somehow the NYPD, we're sure, will flip into a reason that tracking Peter is even more difficult.
• It took a camera crew in a brothel, but Rita Cosby did it: she's number one on MSNBC, at least for a day. [TVNewser]
• Lest new CBS News prez Sean McManus actually make a decision about who's going to succeed Dan Rather, he's instead asked Bob Schieffer to "hang in there for a while longer." [NYT]
• Alleged firefighting rapist Peter Braunstein not only kept a list of women that he wanted to punish (his victim among them), he penned an "brilliant" unpublished novel Paparazzi where a celeb's stalker ends up falling for him. David Carr still isn't laughing. [Page Six]
• The New York Times' new sports magazine Play isn't exactly a publication for the smarties — just those who would rather spend their Sundays outside throwing around the football than inside, uh, reading the Times. [NYP]
• No more Index magazine? Ever since Organic Style shut down, we just haven't been the same — and we never will be if Vice suddenly becomes more relevant just like that. [WWD]
• Because JT Leroy may or may not exist, the New York Times has scrapped a freelance gig they farmed out to him (or her?) about Deadwood. Something about not wanting to fuel anymore credibility problems. [Page Six]
• Learning Annex chairman Bill Zanker was desperate to meet Rupert Murdoch, and lucky him, his $57,100 bid (for charity) earned him a lunch with the News Corp. head. But did he have to do it under the username "Wabanhood"? [NYP]
• Arthur Sulzberg Jr. expects politicians to open up on the record but, not surprisingly, he's not willing to do the same. [Slate]
We heart David Carr. We really, really do, even if he doesn't heart us back. Apparently, he says, rape jokes just aren't funny. And, well, he's right: they aren't. Hell, we even declared as much: "Rape isn't funny, but Peter Braunstein sure is."
But that declaration wasn't enough for NYT biz-nasty Carr, who's of the thought bubble that just because we can make jokes about allegedly Halloween rapist Peter Braunstein doesn't mean we should. Even if they involve Lindsay Lohan.
Braunstein – who's still on the lam after dressing like a firefighter and illegally using his hose – is off limits for jokes, says Carr, no matter how tasteful.
But his real moment in the sun has come in the Manhattan-based media blogs, which have given him the Paris Hilton treatment. Gawker, the snarky annotator of life in New York's publishing circles, has run almost daily items, making fun of his eyebrows, his alleged fetishes for pantyhose, shoes, and Kate Moss, and his one try at playwriting. Jossip, another blog, suggested in a headline that "Rape isn't funny, but Peter Braunstein sure is." Do tell.
Well, David, we really thought we did. From the same item you referenced:
Of course rape is never amusing, even if it does involve Lindsay Lohan in costume.
But writer Peter Braunstein, the "fakest bravest" Halloween rapist in desperate need of a better crime handle, has somehow managed to turn this twisted tale of forced sex into real life comedy (minus the whole forced sex thing). At least for folks like us.
Geez, Carr, we didn't think we'd have to explain, but: 1) Move mouse; 2) Click link; 3) Read.
When Bloggers Joke About the Unfunny [NYT]
Related: Rape isn't funny, but Peter Braunstein sure is
It's the perfect example of our worlds colliding: the true "Celebrity + Media + Manhattan" trifecta, and we've got alleged journo-slash-rapist Peter Braunstein and his obsession with Kate Moss to thank for it.
Turns out everyone's least favorite fireman holds an obsession for everyone's most favorite coke snorting model. In a 2003 article for Black Book (you know, back when he was a writer) aptly titled "Stalking Kate," Braunstein reveals his fixation with Kate even kept him awake at night. He went so far as to track her down at a Bloomingdale's signing to hand her a copy of the article.
"In 1995, I tried to kick Kate cold turkey. I couldn't have timed it worse. The CK One campaign hit that year. I sought refuge in that enticing new labyrinth called the Internet. There I was online, minding my own business, trying to download free pornography, when I noticed the newsgroup alt.supermodel.kate-moss.
"When [the film] 'Unzipped' came out that year, I realized we were meant to be together."
He then wrote he can never get over his feelings for the woman who became the face of heroin chic. "There will never be a 'next Kate' for one simple reason: Kate is always 'the next Kate.' That makes her every woman, real or imagined, I've ever fallen hopelessly in love with."
He even forced his girlfriend at the time to accept the photo of Moss he kept on his nightstand.
And the sick irony? While Braunstein's on the lam, hiding out in Manhattan hotels, Kate herself is in town — ready to celebrate her Robert Cavalli shoot with a bathroom break at Bungalow.
'Fireman' Creep All Ablaze For Kate [NYP]
Related: Kate Moss Watchâ„¢: Cavalli comeback
Editorial Director
