Here's the video of Joran van der Sloot, starring in an episode of HBO's Taxicab Confessions, that you've been waiting for.

It's the end result of Dutch journo Peter de Vries' five-month undercover camera sting, where he worked with Patrick van der Eem, who played a dope dealer to gain van der Sloot's trust, only to totally snitch him out on worldwide teevee.

Knowing the video was going to hit, the wine-slinging Sloot's only option was to acknowledge making those statements, but deny their truthiness. Hey, it's been working for Wesley Snipes.