Blogging this week on MarthaStewart.com, Martha Stewart-dot-commiserate wrote about the passing of Kublai Khan Paw Paw Chow Chow Chow, her big brown fluffy dog, who died at the age of 13. Except if you've been paying attention, this isn't the only sad dog story of late. Last fall, Ellen DeGeneres devoted an inordinate amount of time to Iggy, an adopted pooch she gave away only to see repossessed by the rescue agency. And then last month, Oprah announced the death her cocker spaniel, Sophie, also 13.

Does Martha's sad dog tale complete the three's-a-trend cycle, or does Ellen's sob story not actually count, because her pup didn't pass? And what does that mean for the animals of Dr. Phil and Tyra Banks?!?!

Before Ellen freaked the fuck out yesterday about her repossessed puppy Iggy, her lawyers contacted Mutts & Moms to warn them:

We are filing a legal case against you. We are going to be contacting the media. This is not going to be good for your store or your organization. You did not do the right thing. You need to call back. There is no reason for you to take this dog. Please call back before this gets further out of hand.

And by further out of hand, Bush meant that America’s most beloved lesbian would be in tears over a dog.

Keith Fink, a lawyer for Mutts & Moms, told Page Six he thinks that Ellen is using her power to manipulate the situation.

"Ellen's lying," said Fink. "She is using her power and her access to the media to destroy this agency in the media. This is a woman who has signed many seven-figure contracts. She knows what she signed."

Really, ya think?

Ok, Mutts & Moms. It’s really sweet how you got this in the Post. Congratulations. But let’s be real. Ellen has a daily, nationally syndicated TV show. Just give the puppy back so we don’t have to see Ellen cry anymore.

In a pathetic attempt to stay relevant, PETA has written an open letter to Kevin Federline asking him to take of Britney Spears’s dogs.

For the sake of your children and the animals who are at risk while in Ms. Spear’s custody, we hope that you will do the right and best thing for all involved and purse a custody order for the animal so that your sons can continue to have the company of the animals they’ve grown to adore.

Did PETA miss the news that Federline’s children broke the leg of one of the animals they so adore? Besides, it would be cruel to take away Britney’s only source of unconditional love right now.

[AP, Splash]

We are, as you know, unhealthily obsessed with the New York Times' Most Emailed list. And so today, on the seventh anniversary of September 11th, we were interested to see what wide-ranging coverage it would yield.

With that in mind, we weren't exactly surprised to come upon two emotional tributes (numbers one and five respectively) each commemorating the passing of a loved one.

We were, however, somewhat disconcerted by the fact that they were both about a frickin' parrot. [NYT]

Still creeped out by the recently deceased Queen of Mean and her $12 million declaration of puppy-love? Well, get over it. Because when Oprah kicks the bucket, her pampered pooches stand to inherit upwards of $30 million. Talk about throwing a dog a bone. [CeleBitchy]

Remember that old cartoon? You know, the one that shows eight identical frames of a friendly looking mutt, each picture exactly alike except for the accompanying captions, which read anything from "Rover is happy," to "Rover is sad," or even "Rover is suicidal?"

Yeah, we always thought that was kinda funny—largely because it's true! Dogs always pretty much look the same, with their big, stupid, doggie-grins, and those big, floppy tails. Naturally, however, the uber-nerdy Times has a different (read: more elitist) opinion.

You know what we say? Back the hell off, Grey Lady. The last time anyone got that close to our pooch's behind, it was a Rottweiler at Union Square Park. And—while that didn't exactly end well—even he didn't stop to take pictures.

Ladies—Don't you just hate it when you're slaving away in the kitchen all day, presumably barefoot and pregnant, putting the finishing touches on that painstakingly home-cooked meal, only to have your loved one come ambling into the kitchen, clean his plate with nary a word, and stick you with all the dishes?

No, we haven't magically transported ourselves back to the 1950's. We're merely referring to the increasing number of pet-owners who have opted to prepare full, gourmet meals for their cats and dogs in the wake of the Menu Foods poisoning scare. And, naturally, the Times trendspotters are first on the scene!

CONTINUED »

Just so we're clear: After you read the hard news headlines this morning, the New York Times would like you to waste your time with not one, but two dog-related stories. From here, you'll need to wait just two weeks before Anderson Cooper is on the case.

A Milk Bone? Humph! Only Truffles Will Do [Andy Newman, NYT]
C'mon, Pooch, Get With the Program [Anna Bahney, NYT]