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According to today’s Page Six, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are in uproar over a case of identity theft…with a twist.

A blond-haired, blue-eyed fashion student, who claims to be a virgin, has changed her name to Katee Holmes and is launching a porn career in which she’ll be deflowered in her first movie…

Holmes’ camp is weighing her possible recourse. A friend of Katie told us, “It’s really kind of sleazy, using her name like that.”

A spokeswoman for Cruise said, “Obviously, Tom would support Katie in anything she decides to do about it.”

Naturally, the real Katie Holmes is said to be extremely offended by this unsolicited “tribute.”

When reached for comment, a disgusted Holmes reportedly branded her namesake an “opportunistic hussy,” then waved to the paparazzi and marched into her brand new mansion to simulate sexual relations with her famous movie star husband.

In today’s New York Blade (the gay weekly made of newsprint, not glossy paper with escort ads), porn impresario Michael Lucas takes on Queerty, Jossip’s blog for homos, bis, and chicks with dicks. Queerty, you see, has written much about Michael, from his gay sexcapades to his thoughts on politics. They even asked readers to vote on which new publicist-approved photo the site should start using. That made Michael mad, so he tore into Queerty with a rant that, as far as we can tell, criticizes the site for claiming an award that was, in fact, bestowed up them. But we’re not one for semantics.

We are, however, one for retorts. So read Queerty’s.

Tagged: GLBT · Queerty · Michael Lucas · Porn · Top

Jenna Jameson is heart broken you might think she has an eating disorder or is snorting coke like she’s in a Paris Hilton home video. Don’t you know Jenna is going through a bitter divorce and is handling legal issues with her porn company? Us either, but she is — and so she kindly requests that you give her some privacy, your respect, and ignore the fact that her arms are just barely thicker than Mary-Kate’s thighs.

Like a good skinny blonde in the spotlight, you’ll find Jenna’s plea on her MySpace blog.

CONTINUED »

Tagged: Porn · Jenna Jameson


Gay porn star-slash-mogul Michael Lucas might be about to enter a court room, and it isn’t a set that’ll features Wilson Vasquez, Jack Bond, and Kevin Cage in a three-way in the judge’s chambers. As queer cousin Queerty reports, Lucas Entertainment has been formally served with trademark infringement papers in a lawsuit filed by International Media Films Inc., which owns Federico Fellini’s classic La Dolce Vita. Lucas, of course, released a much different version of La Dolce Vita last year.

Couple all that with rumors we’ve heard about a new New York gay porn biz coming to town – to directly compete with Lucas Films – and you’re looking at a rough 12 months for the 10-incher. (Or whatever he’s claiming to be this week.)

Tagged: GLBT · Michael Lucas · Porn

Time mag attempts to poach The New York Times‘ columnists; gets “brutally rebuffed” by op-ed contributors MoDo and Tom Friedman.

• Jared Paul Stern is cleared of extortion charges, plans to celebrate by throwing a really big lawsuit.

• Rupert Murdoch enters the billionaires’ bidding-war over Tribune, hoping to combine the New York Newsday and the New York Post into new, crappy hybrid.

GMA anchor Chris Cuomo comes this-close to being killed in that Iraq war President Bush keeps promising us we’ll win.

• So apparently, you’re not encouraged to take $50K joyrides on the company’s private jet.

• The pervy NYT was right on the money-shot! Porn industry expected to determine the future of HDTV.

The Grey Lady continues to amaze us, once again coming out of her prudish, insular shell to share this tongue-in-cheek** look at the unexpected pitfalls of High Definition technology.

Yes, once again the NYT has concerned itself with smut, only this time, instead of bemoaning the unfortunate decline in sex sales, today’s pornographic installment centers on the dark side: of High Definition: varicose veins, cellulite, “ill-placed pimples,” and—of course—droopy boobs.

And while the editorial commentary is certainly enjoyable, (e.g. “[t]he XXX industry has gotten too graphic, even for its own tastes”), clearly the crux of the article lies within its memorable quotations.

There’s Stormy Daniels with the cons of HD porn:

???The biggest problem is razor burn,??? said Stormy Daniels, an actress, writer and director. Ms. Daniels is also a skeptic. ???I???m not 100 percent sure why anyone would want to see their porn in HD,??? she said.

Acclaimed filmmaker Robby D. with its merits:

???It puts you in the room,??? said the director known as Robby D., whose films include Sexual Freak. ???You can see things you cannot see with the naked eye. You see skin blemishes; you see cottage cheese…But some cellulite is not necessarily a bad thing. It???s kind of sexy.???

And finally, our personal favorite, top pornographic director, Joone, offering some friendly advice to those actresses plagued by body-image insecurities:

Joone does not use a last name, but he does use a number of techniques to keep his films blemish-free. They include giving out lifestyle tips.

???I tell the girls to work out more, cut down on the carbs, hit the treadmill,??? he said.

And with the NYT backing all these in-depth, prying investigations into the porn industry, we’re left wondering just what exactly should we get Times‘ head honchos Christmas next year: Debbie Does Dallas…Again or Sexual Freak?

Yeah, we’re leaning towards Sexual Freak, too. The High-Def, digitally-remastered director’s cut, of course.

**or other bodily orifice

Last week was, as always, another dizzying frenzy of gossip and media-related news. We gave you our up-to-the-minute take, but we’re far more interested in your reactions. Please continue to send us your comments, and every Monday we’ll recap the burning issues and a sampling of your “colorful” responses in “Hot Topics.”

Issue: The View reportedly hiring Sherri Shepherd to fill Bridezilla’s XXL Size-Zero shoes.
You said: “If she does get hired on, let’s hope she won’t get get gastric bypass, grow into an alien, and marry some gay dude in a tacktastic wedding.”

Issue: Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese to divorce, ending their freakishly pale marriage after only 1 year.
You said: “Too bad…I was looking forward to their albino baby pictures.”

Issue: The predictable cancellation of Geraldo Rivera’s boring news show.
You said: “Screw Geraldo, it looks like he has poo on his lip.”

Issue: Despite a recent decline in pornographic sales, “Granny’s Gangbang” flies off the rack.
You said: “Dude, I heard Hauslaib’s grandma is a GILF.”

CONTINUED »



Exclusive

What’s a little gay porn among friends? Jann Wenner apparently doesn’t have a problem with it, though, truth be told, we’re not sure whether we’d expect him to have a huge fucking problem with it or encourage all staffers to have a little homo smut on their resume. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

Word arrived at Jossip HQ that frequent Jossip HQ punching bag (Us Weekly) could give Jossip HQ watercooler chatters more to talk about than Kitson lawsuits and publicist intimidation. Turns out, Usnewest high profile hire – Martha Flores, West Coast news director, working under West Coast exec editor Ken Baker – has a history in the fudge packing biz.

From what we understand, while Martha was still at the Los Angeles Times she put some money into Male Box DVD (NSFW), to help launch the Netflix-esque DVD delivery service that lets homos have their raunch flicks mailed to them in indiscriminate envelopes. After she left the LAT, she worked full-time at Male Box, which produces high-brow titles like Nacho Vidal In Face Fuckers, Black Hunks With White Punks, and Have Some Cannelloni, Tony. Then in the spring, Martha left the company (for reasons unknown), relaxed over the summer, then took up the job hunt in the fall — before finally landing, ahem, under Baker.

So are we about to start a major scan-dal? Unfortunately not. We hear Us Weekly was well aware of Martha’s past. She even put her DVD days on her resume, and all parties involved had quite a nice chat about her background in making sure all of West Hollywood was stocked with their fetish films.

So no, no manpussy out of the bag — just an opportunity to prove we’re mature by not putting “gay porn peddler” in the headline. Let’s just chalk this one up to Wenner Media encouraging a, uh, a diverse workplace.

The sex entertainment trade just ain’t what it used to be. Despite enjoying a meteoric growth-rate since it first debuted in 1970, the adult industry barely eeked out a profit over the last twelve months. And they were supposed to be the ones who could figure out how to make money on the Internet.

Although statistics vary (apparently porn stars don’t make the best book-keepers), industry leaders describe the past year as having been slow for sales: Too many people shelled out for more wholesome Hollywood flicks instead of ponying up for smut.

However, in a world where silicon equals art, dirty-talk passes for romance, and threesomes are considered mundane, there’s always a silver lining.

Mr. Fishbein and others said “the one area of huge growth” was hard-core movies featuring women in their 30s into their 70s, a trend that has brought new work for some of the industry’s stars.

“The flashpoint for this in our culture was the teen movie ‘American Pie,’ where there is a famous sequence involving one of the kids and his friend’s mother,” Mr. Fishbein said.

Of course, just because sex promoters are calling septuagenarian sex the Next Big Thing, that doesn’t mean we have to buy into it. Look, we’re all for First Amendment rights and the freedom to express yourself. All we’re saying is, the only thing worse than reading about porn in the NY Times is finding out that “You” just made Granny’s Gang Bang available on a public server.

Tagged: New York Times · Porn

When we read this press release, we could almost hear the communal sigh of women from all the way across the bridge. A porn star giving men (oh, and women) sex advice. Just what we need.

Fans of adult entertainment are already quite familiar with Seymore Butts’ Tushy Girl, Flower Tucci. She is known far and wide for her amazing ability to squirt and for her world-class tushy.

Now readers of FHM (For Him Magazine online) will get to know Flower as well as we do …

… they have decided that a woman as clearly skilled as Flower should share her sexual knowledge with the men and women out there.

In her “Sexpert” blog, Flower gives FHM reader straight shootin’ advice and no holds barred sex talk from one of the busiest tushies in all of porn.

Cosmopolitan is already preparing their article entitled, “Why Your Boyfriend Won’t Fuck You Unless You’re Tied to the Oven Wearing Combat Boots and an Apron.”

FHM Hires Adult Film Star To Write Weekly Sex Blog [Fishbowl NY]

Tagged: Magazines · Sex · Porn · FHM



Presented without interruption, this note from a reader you’ve probably wiped up after:

I was listening to the Wendy Williams Experience on WBLS 107.5, my favorite radio source of gossip, yesterday when a caller ended his comments with a celebrity sighting. He told Wendy that he was at a Peep show on the West Side highway (the famous Christopher Street Peep Show on the highway) when he saw Sam Champion enjoying the new releases. Wendy then responded with her trademark “How you doing?” which is her way of acknowledging the gay connection.

As for us, generally we check out the new releases on Queer Click.

Related: All Sam Champion coverage

Tagged: GLBT · Porn · Top · Sam Champion

It’s the type of story that brings together two issues so dear to our hearts – porn and prison – that it’s hard not to consider dropping our current gigs and joining the advocacy effort to get Swank Extreme and High Society back inside Indiana’s detention centers. Two Indiana Department of Correction captives are hoping for class action status – to represent some 20,000 jailed souls – for their lawsuit that claims a law barring publications that have nudity or sexual content from entering the facility violates their rights. Cute, right?

“The policy is written so broadly that it includes within its prohibitions such things as personal letters between prisoners and loved ones and much of the world’s great literature and art,” said the complaint, which was prepared by the American Civil Liberties Union of Indiana.

One of the two plaintiffs named in the complaint is Ernest Tope, 53, an inmate at the Pendleton Correctional Facility near Anderson who is serving a life sentence for murder. He claims he cannot subscribe to the motorcycle magazine Easyriders because it contains partial nudity.

The policy may also may bar books such as steamy novels by the best-selling author Jackie Collins that have been available in the past through the prison library, the lawsuit claims.

And don’t forget the National Geographics. Sometimes a fella just wants to look at a pair of Sudanese tits every now and then, and really, do we need to deprive him of that right?

Inmates Sue to Overturn Nude Magazine Ban [Ken Kusmer, AP]

Tagged: Magazines · Porn · Crime · Prison

We have no idea what the punishment for breaking indency laws in Jakarta is … and we would almost prefer not to. But when media meets foreign law meets nudie mags, we can’t turn away. Playboy is standing before legal trouble yet again (the first incident being that ripped off Jessica Alba photo) in Jakarta. Officials in the Muslim dominated country claim that by posing in the mag, two models, along with the magazines EIC, are all in violation of the country’s indecency laws.

Even though, you know, they had clothes on and were under the impression the weren’t in violation of anything. To avoid future problems, Playboy has moved their East Asian office to Bali, where plenty of Sports Illustrated swimsuit shoots (which is what these versions of Playboy most resemble) have been conducted with few complications … except for the sand in Heidi Klum’s crotch.

Playboy editor, models investigated in Indonesia [AP News]

Tagged: Magazines · Playboy · Porn · Crime

Leave it to Dylan Stableford to find some legit news on porn. (And imagine how difficult it must have been to sort through all the Asian porn news before getting to this.)

Well, we probably would have been on the hunt for Zinio’s new site Undercovermags, but we weren’t expecting the in your lap nudey mags to unfold until October.

See, now instead of having to click through the websites of Rockstar, Swank, and Penthouse, you can get your complet naked chick fix in one stop.

With Penthouse and Playboy making concerted efforts to legitimize their content beyond the centerfold to gear and gadgets, it’s not surprising that part of this push has involved digital offerings. Digital magazine publisher Zinio has quietly launched something called Undercovermags.com, a sort of one-stop shop for such titles as Penthouse, Penthouse Letters, Swank and Celebrity Sleuth, many with subscription options that include video.

Playboy, however, remains on Zino’s “legit” mag site … because, that mag (with its amazing interviews) is much more journalism than porn.

Porn Mags Quietly Go Digital
Undercover Mags [Undercovermags.com]

Tagged: Internet · Magazines · Playboy · Penthouse · Porn

From PRNewswire’s ProfNet, appearing today:

**2. TODAY/RETAIL : Children’s Clothing Retail – Star Magazine (US)
I am looking for a retail analyst who follows children’s clothing. I want to know if a newly formed company is getting ready to launch a new line of outfits for kids, and whether bad PR surrounding its creator will affect its success.

We’re not retail analysts or anything, but let’s just say that when your soon-to-be ex-wife Denise Richards accuses you of looking at pre-teen and gay porn websites while your name is attached to a line of children’s clothing, yeah, the bad PR is going to play a role.

Earlier: Charlie Sheen & Denise Richards’ Underage (and Gay) Divorce Proceedings
Related: All Charlie Sheen coverage