Wither, Premiere. The movie mag was informed it was no longer welcome under Hachette Filipacchi corporate umbrella last month, with the announcement that the title was for sale. But now, with no takers, Hachette is closing up shop.

The April edition will be the last. Although, as with the closure of Elle Girl and Shock, the company said it would maintain an online version of the movie magazine.

Good lord, must every magazine that can't make it in print maintain a web presence? There are enough Radars in the world already.

With Keith Kelly bringing news that Hachette Filipacchi is playing another round of its fav parlor game – "Which American magazine should we close next?" – with Premiere magazine, we couldn't help but admire the artwork that is the article headline: "Hachette May Draw Curtains on Premiere." Which, naturally, meant it was time for us to engage in our own fav parlor game: "Alternative Headlines."

• Final Show for Premiere?

• Premiere Takes a Bow

• Premiere: No Extended Run Planned?

• Preemie Premiere

• The Movie Magazine You Don't Bother Touching, Even in the Doctor's Office, Will Close Or Be Sold, Not That You Care, Because, Like Most Americans, You Don't Read It