Mrs. Barack Obama shares a few (too many?) intimate details about her husband's personal hygiene. “We have this ritual in the morning," Michelle Obama told Glamour. "They come in my bed, and Dad isn’t there — because he’s too snore-y and stinky, they don’t want to ever get into bed with him." In response, Obama's campaign manager announces their newest bumper sticker slogan: Vote Stinkypants '08. [CNN]
We always had Hillary Clinton pegged as a real nutcracker. Apparently, we were right.
Meanwhile, we're actually far more excited about the upcoming products from the other democratic candidates!
Among our personal favorites are the John Edwards toupee ("It's like having a $400 haircut every day!") the John McCain piggy-bank ("The first piggy-bank that only accepts certified checks") and the Barack Obama abs-roller ("It's what separates the Vladamir Putins from the Nicolas Sarkozys.")
Shopping, anyone?
Oprah Winfrey refuses to save Hillary Clinton, John Edwards a seat on the sacred couch where an exhilarated Tom Cruise once professed his totally-believable love for Katie Holmes. Barack Obama, however, is always welcome. [Stereohyped]
Ellen Degeneres and Hillary Clinton have sooooo much to talk about! Like, for instance, healthcare! And androgynous pants suits. [Queerty]
Stripper-slash-actress Amber Lee Ettinger (a.k.a. "Obama Girl") turns our world upside down by admitting she's actually leaning towards Barack's chief democratic rival in the upcoming presidential election.
Obama Girl for Hillary? Craziness! And here we were thinking the girl couldn't act.
[NYDN]
MySpace’s Impact Channel and MTV Choose or Lose will collaborate on dialogues with all the major presidential candidates for Webcasts and televised events starting this fall.
Unlike the YouTube debates, where questioners could choreograph videos of talking snowmen ahead of time, these events will be held town hall style and questions can be sent in live, through MySpaceIM, email, or text messaging. With 160 characters at their disposal, the bar is set high for political dialogue for texters. So is it bxrs or brfs ;)?
With MySpace’s popularity at an all time for pedophilias and MTV’s social relevance relegated to Orange County, we choose to lose.
[CNET]
Fred Thompson is raising boatloads of money for his not-yet-official presidential campaign. Special bonus: Because he's not (technically) in the race, he doesn't have to disclose anything about his financial "backers" or where those hefty campaign contributions are coming from (*cough* oil money.) [Queerty]
• Weekly World News is folding, which means the only place to read about a bald, umbrella-brandishing freakshow is on Britney Spear's official website.
• Presidential candidates get a little hot under the collar; perspire freely.
• In addition to being a better athlete than you are who gets hotter chicks than you do, QB Tom Brady is also a far snazzier dresser.
• Barry Bonds is officially the new Roger Maris. On 'roids.
• Never one to miss the scoop, Jon Friedman starts asking the big questions about some mysterious mogul man (Rupert whatisface?) who's slowly but surely taking over the media world.
• Fox News discovers it ain't easy being green.
In news that's sure to disappoint his Obama-supporting daughter, Caroline Giuliani, the former NYC mayor has officially predicted that Hillary will win the Democratic nomination.
Giuliani told the Daily Telegraph, a London newspaper, on Tuesday that he thinks Clinton will win the nomination and choose Obama as her running-mate because he “has had such a good showing and it’s going to be very hard for her to deny him a place on the ticket.”
And, according to Giuliani, there's only one G.O.P. candidate who can beat Hill in the general election. Yep, that would be cousin-marrier/shameless self-promoter Rudy Giuliani. Which makes more sense after you remember that McCain's recently fired all of his top advisers, Romney's playing for the other team and the infinitely more popular Mayor Bloomberg is (unofficially) running on the Independent ticket.
Only a day after the sordid details of Caroline Giuliani's Facebook profile were released, her father Rudy is asking that we all respect her privacy.
And before you even ask, rest assured this has nothing to do with the fact that Caroline was—until yesterday—a member of the "One Million Strong For Barack" Facebook group, hence publicly and unapologetically in support of a candidate other than her own father. That's just a coincidence.
My daughter I love very much. I have great respect for her, and I’m really proud of her. And I don’t comment on children because I want to give them the maximum degree of privacy. I think children in situations like this deserve to have the maximum degree of privacy. And the best way to preserve that is, except to point out that you love them and care about them and you’re very, very proud of them, just don’t comment about it.
It's about principles! And respect! And above all else, it's about the fact that poor, confused Caroline is merely a child. Albeit a shrewd, 18 year-old Harvard bound child, who is old enough to vote in the 2008 elections.
For Barack Obama.
When you first saw the Vanity Fair hatchet-job on Judith Stish Ross Nathan Giuliani, you probably thought to yourself, 'Those Southern states really aren't going to go for a Republican candidate whose wife is an adulteress, social-climbing spendthirft.' And perhaps you're right!
But lest we forget about the other black sheep in Rudy's family (a.k.a. his estranged children, who still haven't forgiven him for marrying a non-cousin) Ben Wasserstein is here to show you what ten minutes of intrepid reporting mindless Facebook stalking can do.
"Four presidential candidates [Biden, McCain, Thompson and Obama] are lined up to visit Jon Stewart on The Daily Show over the next three weeks as Comedy Central's satirical news review ramps up its 'Indecision 2008' coverage," writes the AP.
"In a world of scripted politics, The Daily Show offers candidates a chance to show irreverence and a sense of humor, but brings a risk if they bomb."
Which is essentially the AP's longwinded way of saying that Hillary Clinton will never, ever appear on the show, lest the twenty-something youths of this nation discover that she's really just an unfunny, cleavage baring, boxy pants suit-wearing automaton…trapped in a closeted librarians body.
"There will always be people who try to make a campaign about make up, clothes, and now, even cleavage," writes Hillary Clinton's senior advisor, Ann F. Lewis, in reference to a recent Washington Post article about Hillary's, er, rack, written by fashion critic Robin Givhan.
"Debates," Lewis continues, in a lengthy email missive directed at Hillary supporters, "should be serious business. We are, after all, picking the next commander in chief. You and I know that this campaign is about what's really important," says Lewis, who then emphasizes her point by giving us some ominous-sounding statistics (or "inconvenient truths," if you will) about everything from inadequate healthcare, to surging oil costs, worsening air pollution and the war in Iraq.
And, after dutifully reminding us that discussions of the candidates' cleavage (or, for that matter, her coral jacket) are actually rather trivial, when you really think about it, Lewis finally gets to the part where she oh-so-diplomatically asks for a financial contribution.
"Monday will deliver a milestone in presidential campaign history, as user-generated video drives a debate," wrote CNN as part of its pre-YouTube debate marketing bonanza.
But how much of the content was really user-generated? And how much of it was indirectly manufactured by CNN?
HuffPo looks to the questioners for answers.
• During the Bancrofts' "not acrimonious at all" discussion regarding the potential sale of the Dow Jones corporation, "Christopher Bancroft entered the hotel wearing a 'Bite Me' fishing cap." Touché.
• WSJ vet leaves paper after 22 years to join Portfolio, avoid working for Rupert Murdoch.
• Gossipy Hamptons rag Dan's papers sold for enough money to buy a "pretty nice" house on Amagansett Lane.
• Wenner Media and Time Inc. promoted a bunch of lowly staffers who you've probably never heard of.
In case you forgot to check out the YouTube debates last night, you missed an awesomely awkward moment between John Edwards and Hillary Clinton. Presumably still overcompensating for the $400 haircut spectacle, Edwards was quick to rag on the grooming/fashion habits of the other candidates.
And he wasn't showing any mercy.
Reports CNN:
One of the highlights came when a YouTuber asked the candidates to look to their left and say one thing about that person they liked and one thing they disliked.
Edwards said he liked Clinton's service to the country, as well as her husband's. But Edwards looked at the salmon-colored jacket Clinton wore and said jokingly, "But I don't know about that jacket."
Zing! Take that, Hill! Forget the red herring issues like healthcare, foreign policy and education Edwards is hitting you where it really hurts..by exposing your affinity for boxy bright-colored suit jackets.
• As the battle between the 'Giuliani Girl' and the 'Obama Girl' heats up, Team Barack "keeps to their tradition of balancing booty with wit, using a pop-up Al Gore to excellent effect, along with the somewhat hapless character of "Kucinich Girl," which is a nice nod to lower-tier candidates (though one shudders to think of what "Gravel Girl" might look like)."
• Larry Flynt to Tucker Carlson: "I'm a slimeball, and you can't dance."
• According to the results of a new Harvard study, "young people do not make an appointment with news every day the way older adults do." As a result, teens also tend not to talk like out-of-touch septuagenarians.
• WaPo brings "local news" to excruciatingly boring macroscopic level.
Unlike Mayor Bloomberg (who still has yet to officially announce his candidacy) former senator John McCain is already hard at work campaigning for the presidency. And, also unlike Big Mike, McCain is reportedly dangerously low on funding.
So low, in fact, that he was forced to fire dozens of top aides earlier this week, after the latest numbers showed that "lackluster fundraising and excessive spending left him with just $2 million for his second presidential bid."
And so low that he reportedly told his chief strategist John Weaver and campaign manager Terry Nelson to take a hike [Ed: For the record, both men actually submitted extremely sycophantic letters of "resignation"] and tapped longtime political adviser Rick Davis take over the reins.
When reached for comment, an anonymous "confidante" of John McCain's explained the shake-ups as a "practical need [for] a leaner, focused, different campaign," then paused for a moment before adding, "it's all about the Benjamins, baby."
On NBC's Today Show, former Vice President Al Gore has reiterated his desire to shy away from another presidential bid, insisting that he's currently focusing his energies on raising awareness for environmental issues/global warming instead.
When asked why he wouldn't run for president again — when presumably a president could shape an agenda to fight global warming — Gore said those in power must have the support of the people to make it work.
"I've kind of fallen out of love with politics. …Whatever experience and talents I've gained over the years — I think it may well be that the highest and best use of that is to try to bring enough awareness of the solutions to the climate crisis and enough of a sense of urgency that we come together across party lines on behalf of our children," Gore said.
Translation: My idiot son just got arrested on charges of speeding and drug possession, I'm not nearly as "hip" as Barack Obama, and America hasn't elected a fat guy president since 1909.
Former Vice President Al Gore may not be in the running for the upcoming presidential elections, but his star has never been brighter.
First, he won us over on SNL, by giving an uncomfortably prescient glimpse into a world where peace reigns, global warming has long ceased to exist, cars run on trash (rather than oil or gas) and yes, Al Gore is president.
Next, he shot to stardom with An Inconvenient Truth, a documentary that delivered a powerful environmentalist message and revamped Gore's image by showing him to be bosom buddies with actor/Prius owner Leo DiCaprio.
And today we learn about Gore's most impressive accomplishment to date, namely his ability to procure an advance copy of the embargoed Sopranos finale.
