Because Spitzer's anti-prostitution intitiatvies, coupled by his deep love of a hooker with a heart of gold wasn't enough for New York City in 2008. No, we needed to squeeze in one more hypocritical son of a bitch to show the rest of the world who Aaron Eckhart's Two Face character from The Dark Knight was really based off of.

Enter Queens Councilman Hiram Monserrate:

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Last night we were heading to Queens. Usually, en route to that borough, we think about all the national cuisines we could eat and how weird everything is, but sometimes our thoughts turn to politics.

And we were thinking about John Kerry endorsing Barack Obama, and we were thinking it’s not so awesome.

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Sometimes, getting motivated on a Thursday morning can be kind of a drag.

Which is why we've decided to provide you (and, well, ourselves) with an amazing early-morning distraction.

Because, as far as we're concerned, (a) it's never too early for your first break, and (b) anything featuring super-hero queens doing a crazy gymnastics-dance to the tune of the Footloose soundtrack is alright by us.

UPDATE: In a revealing IM confessional, Queerty editor Andrew Belonsky has just proclaimed this clip to be "the most riveting piece of entertainment [he's] seen since posh's nbc special."

[via Popbitch]

Con Ed Faced Critical Choice on Shutdown [Sewell Chan, Patrick McGeehan and Richard Pérez-Peña, NYT]

Tens of thousands of Queens residents are without power after thunderstorms reaked havoc on an underground power grid. Mayor Bloomberg doesn't have a clue – or even a guestimate – as to when their now week-long suffering without air conditioning or the ability to store leftover Taco Bell will end. So what's Con Edison to do? Go on a sight-seeing tour and count how many miserable residents there are!

Mr. Bloomberg said Con Edison could not provide an estimate on when electricity service would be restored. The utility company was preparing for a second time to drive down the streets in western Queens and count the number of buildings believed to be without power. It has raised its estimate for the total number of customers affected since Monday night to 25,000, up from 20,000.

If only former FEMA chief Michael Brown had the wise idea to race around New Orleans in a speed boat with a clipboard full of hash marks, that conundrum couldn've been solved faster, too.

Restoration of Power in Queens Remains in Doubt [Robert D. McFadden and Sewell Chan, NYT]

Hey everybody! Guess what? Today is a New York holiday. We think.

We're really not quite sure what this mysterious day actually is, since our editor has only lived in Brooklyn for about six months and Google News isn't giving us much to work with here, but, it is in fact a special day. Are you ready for this? It's Brooklyn Queens Day!

So, what does this mean for you? Well, as much as we wish it meant you could throw on your wife beater, blast Spanish rap from your Miata, push a stroller, and/or wear tight black jeans, it doesn't.

Actually, this holiday pretty much jack shit unless you are a parent or teacher in Brooklyn or Queens, and even then, nobody really knows what the significance of BQD is. From what we can extrapolate, though, it is a day that parents have to come up with extra money for day care, teachers have to work, and principals get a paid day off.

Or, the principals don't have the day off.

Really, we should just rename it "Media Completes Neglects the Outer Boroughs Day."

Pincipals may skip [Erin Einhonr, Daily News]
$TANDING BY THEIR PRINCIPALS [David Andreatta, New York Post]
Long Live Brooklyn Queens Day [Kenny Bruno, Queens Ledger]