• Jessica Biel is Derek Jeter's new beard.

• The Devil Wears Prada TV producers shadowing Marie Claire editor Joanna Coles might need to find a new personality to follow.

• Michael Jackson indeed showed at the World Music Awards, but he didn't fail not to disappoint. Meanwhile, his rider demands put sister Janet's to shame.

• People magazine names George Clooney the sexiest man alive. Isaiah Washington has one more reason to laugh at Patrick Dempsey.

• Rachael Ray faces her first sex scandal, adds EVOO.

• Sacha Baron Cohen sits for an interview that doesn't involve the words "sexy time" or "vagine."

• Ashley Judd finds it "gross" that FHM would name her one of the sexiest women alive. Ashley Judd then poses nude on Marie Claire.

• The English language Al Jazeera launches, broadcasting from the Qatar capital Doha to exactly fourteen viewers.

• NBC cuts so far today: Researchers and graphics types, and WNBC talent.

• The going rate for a pair of hostage Fox Newsers? $2 million.

• Speaking of FNC, a fair and balanced news network needs a fair and balanced memo.

• Michelle Rodriguez: Outed by her girlfriend, not a gossip blog.

• Your teen girl mag cheat sheet has arrived.

• Gary Condit goes after VF scribe Domminick Dunne once again. Expect to read about it in Dunne's column by February.

• Tony Danza storms Rachael Ray's set, goes bezerk, taken down with tasers.

• So many changes around CourtTV, but one thing remains constant: The network's execs remain stingier than their staffers when it comes to helping the homeless.

• Your days of freebasing and blowjobs at the Roxy are, at long last, coming to an end.

• Rachael Ray's cooking show that involves celebrities preparing their favorite dishes is, allegedly, someone else's idea. Though not a hard one to come up with.

• Billionaires Ron Burkle and Eli Broad make a play not just for the LAT, but for the entire Tribune Co.

• The point of a launch party is not to try the product, but to show up for a glass of bubbly, have your photo taken, and leave for a better soiree.

• President Bush trades one old white guy for another.

Slate wonders, why is it that so many people hate Rachael Ray? Maybe because she is way too perky. Or because she posed for FHM. Or maybe because she says things like "EVOO Extra Virgin Olive Oil" (not "EVOO" instead of "Extra Virgin Olive Oil"). Or because she has a "garbage bowl?" Is totally ditzy? Was adopted by Oprah? Why, why, why?

And then, miraculously, Slate solves its own question. Even though Jill Hunter Pellettieri thinks Ray is the best solution to finding the poor women's Martha Stewart, there is something always scratching at the back of her mind, saying "this is wrong."

For years, I devoured the show, and Ray and I enjoyed a problem-free relationship. But as she became more popular and her detractors became more vocal, I realized that if I wanted to defend her, I should try a few of her recipes. You can imagine my dismay when, 21 recipes later, I was forced to admit that I could not complete a 30-Minute Meal in 30 minutes.

This, too, was our issue with Ray. Don't get excited — really, nobody who works for Jossip actually cooks. But once our roommates tried cooking a Rachael Ray meal — and it was the same thing. Took like a freakin' hour and a half! And you know what we found out? She doesn't include prep time in that "30 minute meal." A total sham!

So, basically she's a liar. And that's why, no matter how much you want to like her and ignore her extreme obnoxiousness, it's hard to like somebody who lies to you in 1/2 hour increments day after day.

In Defense of Rachael Ray [Jill Hunter Pellettieri, Slate]