Amy Sacco, the nightlife queen unsuccessfully trying to export her brand internationally, is closing her over-hyped and mostly terrible restaurant Bette. [Eater]

"If Stevie Nicks were the host of a weekly book club, its meetings would happen someplace like this," writes Frank Bruni of Neil Ferguson's stylish LES restaurant, Allan & Delancey. And while the food and presentation is praised as being both creative and unpretentious, we can't quite say the same about the ensuing Times' restaurant review. Writes Bruni:

Mr. Ferguson strikes a fattier, messier note with an appetizer of marrow, but instead of asking you to scoop it from bones and sprinkle it with fleur de sel, he extracts, poaches and caramelizes it. Then, to give it the salty complement it needs, he bejewels it with paddlefish caviar. It’s intense — too intense, in fact, but I salute its boldness.

And we salute Frank Bruni for awarding the downtown eatery two stars. Which makes it officially one star better than Robert's Steakhouse at the Penthouse Executive Club and two stars better than Jeffrey Chodorow's swashbuckling sword sanctuary, Kobe Club. No doubt Stevie Nicks would totally approve.

Remember that blurb in last winter's edition of Philly magazine in which the Irish Pub & Inn (clearly a classy establishment) was unfairly characterized as a "dive bar?" We don't, and chances are even if you live in Philadelphia, you don't either, but for some inexplicable (and highly irrational) reason the owners of the bar – pardon us, upscale social club – have decided to sue the magazine's publisher over what they deem a highly damaging review.

CONTINUED »

“Excellent choice,” says the waiter in one restaurant, casting my companion’s order of braised short ribs as a bold inspiration.

“Perfect,” says the waitress in another restaurant, and she says it after each person’s selection of an appetizer and entree, as if we’ve managed to home in on the only out-and-out winners in a tough crowd.

If we’d chosen differently, would she have made an icky expression, a sourpuss face? Would she have warned us that the squab tartare with candied jalapeños and a botulism emulsion was imperfect — and possibly ruinous?

I wonder…

–New York Times' food critic Frank Bruni contemplating the patronizing air inherent in "restaurantspeak." [NYT]

Frank Bruni explores the peculiar phenomenon of the sidewalk cafe, attributing its widespread success to New Yorkers' unwavering conviction that "nothing sauces roasted chicken like the exhaust from an M104 bus and there’s no music more relaxing than the eek-eek-eek of a delivery truck in reverse." And, according to Bruni, its day has passed. [NYT]

Primehouse, a new steak place on 27th and Park, opened last night.

The crowd was rich, boring and on a diet. Discarded miniature buns from the miniature filet minion burgers were everywhere.

You would think this neighborhood would at least be hip to the latest dieting trends. Atkins is so over.

Chef and blogspot man Jean-Georges reveals his latest cooking trick:

I’ve started using another technique—or, more accurately, another machine—to cook with low heat. The C-Vap, which stands for “Controlled Vapor,” was developed for Kentucky Fried Chicken by the same company that invented its fryers. It’s basically a food warmer that uses warm water vapor—much cooler than steam—to keep KFC’s chicken crispy on the outside but warm and moist on the inside. (Or at least that’s the idea.) But I don’t use it to hold cooked foods, I cook with it.

Peter Luger loses a star and Jean-Georges makes fast food. Maybe it's time to go on a diet.

“Do you go to Hawaii to ski?” a Peter Luger’s waiter asked one of Frank Bruni’s guests who inquired about the fish. Well, apparently the beach isn’t enough for Bruni, who demoted Peter Luger to two stars for not having much outside of steak.

So the wine list sucks, the waiters are mean and the other food is bad. Isn’t that the point of Peter Luger? Apparently rude waiters and good steak isn't enough for Bruni:

CONTINUED »

• Landlords attempted to evict Maggie Gyllenhaal from her Tribeca pad. And, she almost cares but she's moving to Brooklyn anyways. [NYP]

• Free food at 5 Ninth? Call now because this will certainly never, ever happen again. [Grub Street]

• NYC's Rodeo Bar is now selling cowboy boots and belt buckles covered in peanut shells. [NYO]

• You know those skinny dudes who are always huffing and puffing to pedal the chubby Midwestern folk down 42nd St? Yeah, well, New York wants to put some regulations on that. [NYP]

It's like the end of the world. The end we tell you! In addition to completely unaffordable rent west of Avenue C, Harlem being taken over by Madison Avenue stores, Urban Outfitters on every corner, and $9 beers on Little West 12th St., the destruction of New York has hit a new low.

Gray's Papaya is raising its prices.

We knew this was inevitable. We just knew. Why, why didn't we eat more dollar hotdogs when we had the chance? Sigh. Well, at least the New York Times breaks the news gently.

The “recession special,” two dogs and a drink, was still $2.75 including tax, as it has been for several years.

But Nicholas A. B. Gray, who founded the three-store chain in 1973, said on Friday that the prices would go up within the next few weeks, although he has not yet decided by how much.

To be fair, Nicholas Gray is pretty devastated as well. He feels like his customers might think they are being betrayed. Hey, Mr. Gray, we know it's not your fault. It's not your fault. We don't know who's fault it is (probably the terrorists?) but it's not yours.

Dang, we could really use a pineapple icee to take the edge off.

Lamentation at Gray’s Papaya [Jake Mooney, New York Times]

• Annie Leibovitz shows us a side of her we never actually wanted to see.

• Yes, Bill O'Reilly gets invited to parties. If not many, at least the Fox parties.

• We find out just how sneaky Diane Sawyer can really be.

• Glamour makes it really, really hard to leave the house.

• Despite her visit to Africa, Madonna did not actually go there to adopt a baby. You'd think she would ever follow a trend she didn't actually start?

• We've had many heroes in our lifetime: Maggie Gyllenhaal, Strawberry Shortcake, Matt Drudge … yet, none of them quite compare to Shanna Moakler. She is definitely our number one right now.

• Us Weekly breaks up Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. Since nobody was really buying the whole engagement thing. Except Ken Baker of course. Yeah, literally.

• Who is this Little Miss Seventeen who thinks she has a chance in hell of both trying to sue Atoosa Rubenstein and getting a job in the media industry ever again.

• Jay McInerney officially retires Elaine's and Michael's.

• Betsy Burton jumps New York's ship for the new stellar start-up team of Time.

• The New York Times' Joe Sharkey goes through the hellish experience of being in a plane crash he may or may not have caused. And lives to tell us about it.

• You know how Robert DeNiro didn't buy the Observer? Maybe he was saving up to buy Harvey Weinstein's duplex. [NYP]

• A party at Beauty Bar where everyone walks around saying "Hi, I'm a twenty-something" sounds more or less like our version of Hell. [NYO]

• A sign of the Times: Pepper & Potter gone for good. Sniffle, sniff, sniff. [NYT]

• Did your hummus sandwich from Dojo last week taste a little funny? That's why you never let somebody feed you a plate of noodles the size of your head for three bucks. [Gothamist]

• Something about sports and New York and teams. Baseball maybe? [NYDN]

Da Silvano is, by now, a New York staple of sorts. A place where celebs, socialites, media elites, and restaurateurs meet for dinner before hitting Dowtown Cipriani's for cocktails. Yet, none of that means a thing to New York Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni. Tom Hanks, Danny DeVito, and Madonna have all sung the restaurant's praises — but Bruni is standing his ground, knocking the famed eatery down from Ruth Reichl's assignment of two stars to a measly one.

“Bravo!” proclaimed Mr. Hanks. (His exclamation point, not mine.) “Bellissimo!” raved Mr. DeVito. (Again, his exclamation point.) Madonna, in a less exclamatory mood, said, “Yummy yummy.” She’s always been such an eloquent lyricist.

Celebrities love Da Silvano. Many regular folks love Da Silvano. Even some self-regarding gastronomes whose opinions I respect love Da Silvano, and I have to wonder if any of them has had anything like the chicken liver crostini I sampled on the first of several recent visits. They tasted like pet food — or, rather, how I imagine it would taste.

Pet food? Ouch. Luky for Da Silvano, they've given Sarah Jessica Parker a shit ton of free meals.

Sarah Jessica Parker, who once scribbled her “love” of the food, stood by that statement, saying in an e-mail message that she used to go there weekly and order artichokes, linguine with clams (“never grew bored” of it, she said) and whatever pasta was being served with seasonal truffles.

So Bruni went back, tried her suggestion, and thought it was lovely. And the waiter didn't even call him disgusting that time. Still, even SJP can't sway the Bruni — the one lonely star stays. Among the likes of Tom Hanks and Madonna, but still.

To Be Seen, and Perhaps to Eat [Frank Bruni, New York Times]

• Anna Nicole Smith makes a fortune off her dead son. Props on this snag goes to the always classy tabloid In Touch.

• We imagine what it would be like to get it on with David Zinczenko. And then we stop, because we may have to do a TV spot with him someday.

• Michael Cooke gets his Chicago Sun-Times back. Keeps extremely obnoxious nick-name Cookie Monster.

• With Ken Baker around, the scandals just never stop.

• Head of Coutorture, Julie Fredrickson tells her fashion blogger peons to fuck off. But, at least she didn't stalk them all.

• An X17 paparazzo almost ran over Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake. But, unfortunately, he missed.

• Megu gets kinky in the kitchen — sexual harassment never tasted so good.

Though it is about a week old, this gossip is the type of juice we just can't pass up. We hear that last Wednesday, Tinsley Mortimer held a chic "intimate post-dinner show" for designer and member of the New York elite Peter Som at the swanky Frederick's Lounge in Midtown. (We're sure you can imagine the scene — and yes, gagging is a completely natural reaction.)

Anways, at this event, where designer Amanda Ross and uber stylist Ann Caruso were trying to dink their Moet in peace, a ridiculously pushy PR agent, who obviously didn't know her place was with the regular people, tried to push into the private party.

An industry insider who attended the event dishes that a publicist named Amanda* from Captivante PR crashed the party. While the private event was strictly for guests of Peter Som — and this little "you can't fucking come in" policy was kindly explained to her — Amanda waited for staff to look away before entering the member's room with her crew of clients. From which she was promptly booted.

Staffers at Frederick's felt kind of terrible for the "tacky publicist" and, reportedly, proceeded to throw two bottles of champagne at her, setting her crew up in a room where "the public" is allowed to chill. Fredericks even picked up the tab. But Miss Amanda apparently doesn't stop being a bitch when loaded with free bubbly.

After being presented with a comped bill for over 500 dollars, she and her guests left a fistful of crumpled singles amounting to 17 dollars. The manager on duty was so dismayed he paid cash out of his own pocket to his waitstaff to make up for the pr person's gaff.

See, we don't care about pissing off the Tins (in fact, we were a little impressed at first). But throwing a crumpled $17 bucks at the waitstaff? That's just disgusting.

*A Google local search points to Amanda Moore, but the contact info for Captivante is less easy to pin down. Have insider info? Send to tips@jossip.com.

New York magazine's food blog, Grub Street, breaks the news today that a former waitress at high end restaurant Megu is suing the hotspot for sexual harassment. Head chef Mitsuo Endo and line chef Lawrence Herman are among those accused of harassing the unnamed, former Megu employee.

And, of course, because this is a food blog, New York makes sure to decorate the story and it up all fancy and foodie like.

A sexual-harassment lawsuit filed today by a former waitress for Megu, the Tribeca outpost of the high-end Japanese restaurant empire, is hot enough to melt the place's trademark Buddha ice sculpture … Her complaint lists a variety of unappetizing behaviors, some of which involved the kitchen utensils … which were, she alleges, tolerated by the owners of the restaurant, whom she accuses of having a yen for keeping more than the sushi fresh around there.

We guess when it comes to sex and food, some of the descriptions are just reverberated. (Especially when you're eating raw fish.) Take New York's 2004 review of Megu, for example.

Expensive or not, just about everything is worth lingering over. Each piece of sushi, whether a velvet-smooth horse mackerel, a sweetly bracing uni, or bluefin tuna, sparkles … Fried rice tossed with oysters and kimchi prompts a giddy dive for the sake. A glorious chunk of tuna-neck toro crowned with caviar melts on the tongue far too soon.

Mmmm. We just hope hope Endo cleaned off his utensils before whipping up Hal Rubenstein's glorious spread.

Ex-Waitress Swats Back, Suing Megu for Sex Harassment [Geoffrey Gray, Grub Street]
Megu-Hit [Hal Rubenstein, New York]

• Not only is New York big and scary, but it's also big and safe. Our city is really dynamic like that. [amNY]

• Also, out of all the cities full of huge fucking dicks (as in mean people) ours is the sexiest. Woo-hoo! [Gridskipper]

• Jerry Seinfeld throws his wife, Jessica, a huge birthday bash at Il Cantinori. And Sarah Jessica Parker was there. So Sex in the City, minus nobody showing up and the stepping in wet concrete parts. [Page Six]

• This store looks so awesome. We hear Jake Gyllenhaal even shops here. [Curbed]

• Scarlett Johansson is almost as happy with her body as Woody Allen is. [People]

• No more hot female employees for Jude Law. He now spends his nights forcing his hot male assistant to distract him from checking out any tail while they bar hop. [Lowdown]

• Why is it that people in the Hampton's are so stuffy? God forbid a nice Italian family run a sucessful family business. [Page Six]

• Fabulous news, people. Lindsay Lohan may finally start crowding up the hospitals in London instead of here. [Scoop]

• Crazy Joe Simpson can no longer rely on the careers of his daughters to keep him afloat. So he's taking up one of the industries oldest trades: paparazzo.

Graydon Carter's little passion project, his new restaurant The Waverly Inn, is still going strong. So strong, in fact, that he's already hosting book parties in the newly renovated space. The party was for VF writer and recent (and by recent we mean three minutes ago) Today show guest David Kamp.

As celebs, gossips, and VF people mingled (why we are never invited to these chic events we will never know) Lloyd Grove was able to steal a chat with Carter about how he possibly has enough time to open a restaurant. Isn't he sort of busy running one of the biggest magazines in the country?

"It will have the best martini in New York, four fireplaces and a wraparound mural by Ed Sorel in the dining room," Carter crowed. And why would a busy magazine editor want to co-own a restaurant? "I needed an after-school job. I'll be refilling the nut bowls."

Yeah. Sure. He'll be catching his cigarette breaks in the back. The Bank St. spot opens in late October, and we're sure you'll be able to catch all the spill over from The Spotted Pig and James Wolcott, surrounded by empty martini glasses, yammering to himself in the corner.

A little bit nutty [Lloyd Grove, Lowdown]

• Did you guys hear? The restaurant business in New York gets pretty crooked at times. Shocking, we know. [NYDN]

• New Yorkers can't appreciate the cultural mecca (read: drug haven) that is The Chelsea Hotel. [Gothamist]

• There is still beauty left in the city. But only of the Japanese breed. [NYT]

• In no time, the Freedom Tower will be built, along with a handful of other buildings, and New York won't just feel like another country. It will look like another planet. [Curbed]

• It's so non-Financial District, they're even calling it Greenwich St. [NYO]