• The sky is falling! No, wait, that's just Teri Hatcher's face.

• We don't have to travel back in time to remind ourselves that Kevin Federline is a weasel.

• Is it wrong that we like Ryan Reynolds even more now that we now he has zero plans to adopt an African orphan anytime in the near future?

• Maria Sharapova may have lost only 2 games so far in 4 straight sets of tennis, but Anna Kournikova's still the only one who can carry off a potato sack.

• Britney Spears to disappear. Sheesh, it's about frickin' time!

• For the last time, Sienna Miller and Rhys Ifans are not dating, okay? They're just getting ridiculously drunk and then fucking afterwards.

• Producers are still looking for the next Biggie Smalls. And apparently, it's not this guy.