You know it's officially a crisis of faith when even the comic book industry can't make a go of it in the Big Apple, the unofficial birth place of the modern superhero. Virgin Comics, which specializes in Indian culture serials and adaptable graphic novels for stars (which is why Jenna Jameson has her own series, btw) will be closing its New York offices for good. The company is expected to relocate to L.A. to cash in on some of those movie deals they've been shopping around, because the future is Super-Spider-Iron-Hulk-Man.

Pour one out for Virgin Comics NYC. They never got as much street cred as Marvel, DC, or Vertigo, but maybe that will change now that Stan Lee has offered to help the brand create a new line of superheroes when they relocate.

And yes, the Virgin logo is one of Richard Branson's trademarks; he co-owns the franchise with Deepak Chopra's son, Gotham. So weirdly enough, the Indian company with a stake in Virgin is called Gotham Entertainment, even though this news means they will not have a reason to visit Batman's hometown anytime soon. It's just more bad news for Branson, whose been forced to shutter his Times Square and Union Square Virgin Megastores thanks to plummeting sales. So what is an eccentric billionaire Branson to do to revive his brand?

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"According to Montag and Pratt’s latest cover story in Us, their dream is a small wedding on Sir Richard Branson’s Necker Island in the Virgin Islands, with catering by Wolfgang Puck’s Cut restaurant, watches by Jason of Beverly Hills for all their guests and a performance by U2." Oh, and for it to be filmed by MTV. [E!]

• Lindsay Lohan goes shopping with her new boyfriend, Riley Giles. Which is to say they both go to the same stores while being very careful to remain 20 paces apart at all time. Possibly because Riley is wearing the most heinous shirt ever.

• Those of you having trouble deciding what to be for Halloween may want to consider the modern-day equivalent of The Stepford Wife.

• Joaquin Phoenix doesn't think actors deserve "some special credit" for researching their roles. ("It’s just what you’re supposed to do in your [bleep]ing job.") He also, presumably, hates people who refers to acting as their "craft."

• The Black Eyed Peas canceled a concert mid-performance after Fergie fell ill on stage, much to the disappointment of the 10,000 fans who'd come out to boo her.

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It was a civil little chat about Virgin America's Air Colbert. Until the water started spraying.

• Donald Trump, not content with having a reality show and a magazine tout his ego, now wants to get into TV shopping. Prepare for lots of gold chyrons. [WSJ]

• Tonight, you might actually have an excuse to watch Donny Deutsch's CNBC show. He's announcing I Want Media's Media Person of the Year, a feat that could bring total viewership up to 20, maybe 24 people. [I Want Media]

• Thanks to Judith Miller, is Arthur Sulzberger Jr. the new Howell Raines? Leave it to Seth Mnookin to overanalyze. [Lowdown]

• The U.S. military admits to paying for editorial in Iraqi newspapers, and suddenly Armstrong Williams doesn't look so bad. [NYT]

• Richard Branson is taking on Rupert Murdoch, while Rupert Murdoch is taking on Craig Newmark. [Daily Telegraph]

• Lewis Lapham has been hanging around Harper's only to, ahem, harp on President Bush. [NY Mag]

• For four seconds, you too can be Time's Person of the Year. [Page Six]

• It's time to disembark from hating on Gwenyth Paltrow for naming her daughter Apple — we've got bigger issues with Heidi Klum and Seal's naming abilities for their new son: Henry Guenther Ademola Dashtu Samuel. Somebody's going to have an ego complex.

• Somehow Sir Richard Branson think he's the one to de-snob the wine industry. This, coming from a man who balloons around the world for recreation.

• Victoria Gotti crashed the homecoming party of just-released Julius Nasso, who used to work for her father John. He's been trying to steer clear of his mob ties, but Victoria's on the hunt for anything that'll land her some press.

• Fashion editors didn't feel so worthy at Yigal Azrouel's fashion show on Saturday, thanks to clueless door minders who only recognized the socialites to let through the door but not the industry scribes.

• Even its executives grow exhausted from Richie Rich and Traver Rains. Top Heatherette exec Elissa Bromer ditched after six months on the job (and just days before their Bryant Park show), though rep Aimee Phillips says that's merely how long she was signed for.

• Martha Stewart's Martha debut faired better than The Tyra Banks Show, with a 2.4 household rating versus Tyra's 1.3. Though we're still going to harp on both.

• Like Milla Jovovich, we just hate it when we grab a size two by mistake.

Aside from diet supplements and sperm banks, there's really no industry Richard Branson hasn't set out to conquer. Now he's got his sights set on our field of "expertise" (we'll pause a moment while you laugh): publishing.

The Virgin chief is looking to get into the market of free city dailies, beginning here in New York. Unlike the celebrity gossip shelf, it's a market that might still have room for new additions — but only because we don't count the New York Times' Marketplace.

Branson is looking to go head to head with amNew York and Metro, along with Variety's subscription Daily Variety Gotham, as his daily will focus on the entertainment industry.

Which, had the New York Post not beaten him to it, could've been a first-mover to spit out daily sensationalized gossip disguised as news.