In the days of countrywide recession, even red carpet celebritantes are struggling to find new ways to afford their billion-dollar mansions and cocaine binges. The old way of making money in Hollywood – by, y'know, actually being good at one's craft – has been cast to the wayside in favor of quick and easy side projects, celebreality television shows (hey, you get paid for being on Celebrity Rehab) and special appearances for $50k a pop.
Want in? If you're a Kim Kardashian or a Brody Jenner in the making, here's how to parlay your minimal amount of faux-success into cold hard dollars (which you will waste). CONTINUED »
Ey, ey, ey! Everyone's favorite Livin La Vida Loca crooner is out…on the cover of People Espanol with his two twins that he made courtesy of a turkey baster and a willing female friend. Of course, Martin is still happily "straight," in the way that Anderson Cooper is straight and Clay Aiken was, until his People debut.
But if there is one thing we learned from the Aiken debacle, besides the fact that his fans are creepily invested in his heterosexuality, it's that People isn't willing to shell out Brangelina money for just any old closeted homo with some kids. So what was the price for the Ricky Martin cover?
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Puerto Rican crooner Ricky Martin just got a new gig: daddy.
Martin's press team confirmed today that the 36-year old welcomed two twin boys this week. And, no, he didn't produce them the "old-fashioned way." Why? Well, perhaps because of his rumored homosexuality, which Martin's hairdresser inadvertently revealed last year.
• The Amy Winehouse takeaway for our children:
Drugs + Emotionally Abusive Relationships = Grammy Nominations.
• Fact is, apparently, not all that different from fiction. Rudolph Delson, whose book chronicles the lives of bohemian New Yorkers, has predominantly bohemian New Yorker taste in music.
• A picture of Ricky Martin at the beach with his "friend" proves everything that the complicated and uninteresting hearsay regarding his sexuality implies.
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• Douchebag college kid still yammering about getting to first base with trainwreck former pop star.
• Meanwhile, Britney Spears and the Spice Girls square off for the chance to showcase their complete and utter lack of musical ability.
• Ricky Martin is starting to sound a lot like Michael Jackson Madonna some crazy closeted gay man.
• Who needs the calendar version of Michael Biserta, when you can still get him in video form?
• Ed Harris tries, fails to smuggle a giant butcher's knife past airport security. Then cries about it.
• "Eddie Murphy has been 'extremely disrespectful,' cries morally upstanding single mother, Scary Spice, who was secretly married back in June.
• Lindsay Lohan's former bodyguard threatens to expose his former boss as a knife-wielding cokehead who sometimes gets frisky with the ladies. Quick, someone, get this man a book advance!
• Ever wondered what otherwise attractive celebrities would look like if they covered every square-inch of epidermis with body-mutilating tattoos? Now, you don't have to!
• Elisha Cuthbert travels back to the 1960's to get an awkward, Brady Bunch inspired 'do.
• Ricky Martin is crowned king of the Puerto Rican day parade. When reached for comment, a bitchy gay responded, "Um, he-llo, more like the queen!"
• Serena Williams to Kim Kardashian: Kiss my big, black ass.
• With a name like Jarvis Cocker it's kind of hard to imagine him being a straight-shooter in the first place. [NME]
• Nick Carter blames the destruction of his life on Paris Hilton. That bitch totally ruins everything. [Us]
• Fantasia Barrino's dad is moving in on Dina Lohan's territory of "Biggest Asshole for a Parent." [Y!]
• Kate Moss and Pete Doherty are quickly becoming the couple everyone would love to see go down in a self-destructive blaze of glory. [Newsday]
• Ricky Martin resurfaces from his hole of insignificance for a second to talk about something important. [Jam!]
Despite grinding on Gisele Bunchen's booty at the Victoria Secret Fashion Show, Ricky Martin just can't convince the public that he's straight. As in, not gay.
Why do we all think you're a homo Ricky? Maybe (just maybe) its because you are.
Ricky Martin Frolics On The Beach [A Socialite's Life]
• Mary J. Blige is set to star in a new Nina Simone film. Hey, Angela Bassett didn't really look like Tina Turner, but we didn't haterate. [MTV]
• Google Music launched this morning, sans links to unauthorized download sites. [Coolfer]
• A competition to win a photo of Gorillaz's Damon Alburn getting shit dumped on his head? It's for a good cause, folks. [NME]
• Ricky Martin is set to perform at the Taj Mahal, where he will likely cheat on Nate Berkus with a flaming Bollywood star. [Billboard]
• Love, love will bring Joy Division together. Money, money will tear them apart. [SoundGenerator]
• Yesterday's arguments at the Murder Inc. trial centered around whether a text message reading "I love the s*** out of you" was sent as a message of passion to Gotti's wife or as thanks for shooting 50 Cent to drug kingpin Kenneth "Supreme" McGriff. We're no technophiles, but it seems this debate could be settled fairly quickly with a glance at what the "To" address was. [Billboard]
• Ricky Martin told Blender that he is sure to treat all of his lovers "like a lady" (especially when they're fans of golden showers). His gentlemen callers must enjoy that. [R&M]
• Tis the season of coming together — for publicity of course. Over 50 members of the ATL music community, including Young Jeezy and Ludacris, came together for an MTV photo shoot. It's a nice holiday reminder than anyone can overcome differences if there are cameras. [MTV]
• Poetry written by Bob Dylan during his college years was auctioned off for $78,000. The 16 pages, entitled "Poetry Without Titles," cover, among other things, Dylan's desire to quit smoking. Sounds enthralling. [NME]
• Kylie Minogue announced that she will release a digital single including live versions of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and "Santa Baby" on Christmas of this year. Ricky Martin reported to be especially excited. [Kylie.com]
