• You know how Robert DeNiro didn't buy the Observer? Maybe he was saving up to buy Harvey Weinstein's duplex. [NYP]

• A party at Beauty Bar where everyone walks around saying "Hi, I'm a twenty-something" sounds more or less like our version of Hell. [NYO]

• A sign of the Times: Pepper & Potter gone for good. Sniffle, sniff, sniff. [NYT]

• Did your hummus sandwich from Dojo last week taste a little funny? That's why you never let somebody feed you a plate of noodles the size of your head for three bucks. [Gothamist]

• Something about sports and New York and teams. Baseball maybe? [NYDN]

New York magazine is actually getting some reporting done … no wonder they snagged a few Ellies on Tuesday. Turns out all that time Peter Kaplan's been spending looking for a a buyer for the New York Observer has finally paid off.

And who better to run the media gossip pub than Robert De Niro?

“Nothing is signed on paper, but they’re definitely looking at it, and definitely looking at it very seriously,” says one insider. Says another, “They’re kicking the tires.” The Observer is estimated to bleed $2 million a year, enough to scare off many potential buyers since Carter got serious about selling it early this year. But the speculation is that DeNiro & Co. are hoping for advertising synergy with the Film Fest sponsors (AmEx, Pepsi, Sony, Nokia, L’Oréal).

He already owns Tribeca Film Festival, and now he'll have the perfect outlet for promoting it! Oh, this could be really, really fun. Honestly, though (since they were considering celebs and all), we can not even express how grateful we are that they're not selling newly trimmed salmon to George Clooney.

So far nobody from inside the Observer is spilling any news — maybe once DeNiro comes around and starts giving jobs to Al Pacino's kids and shit …

Pink Eye For the Tribeca Guys? [New York via Gawker]

In an example of what the New York Times is calling an "often emotionally fraught relationship between wealthy and even not-so-wealthy," Robert DeNiro's housekeeper Lucyna Turyk-Wawrynowicz admitted to stealing from the megastar.

The maid admitted through tears in a Manhattan courtroom yesterday that she stole a $95,500 pair of diamond-drop earrings belonging Grace Hightower, DeNiro's wife. Apparently, these two were among her "least favorite" employers. And if being really unlikable is a prerequisite for thieving employees to rip you off, Britney Spears, Jennifer Aniston, and Paris Hilton, well, you've been warned.

And, of course, the most tragic aspect of this story: DeNiro's maid wasn't lookin' too hot up there on the stand:

Ms. Turyk-Wawrynowicz appeared in court in handcuffs yesterday, her complexion splotchy and her platinum blond hair looking stringy, after six months in a Rikers Island jail cell.

Yeah, we double checked … this story is actually not in the Styles section.

Housekeeper to the Stars Admits Stealing From Her Least Favorites [Anemona Hartcollis, New York Times]