So who was that mystery "celebrity" chef trawling Craigslist for his (or her!) new apprentice? Officially speaking, we have absolutely no idea. Unofficially speaking? The results are in, and an overwhelming majority of you (or at least 30%) avow it's Rocco DiSpirito.

• Al Gore gets in a huge fake fight with Lindsay Lohan … but that's all we know. Nikki Finke turned off the TV just before Al threatened to get nekked. [LA Weekly]

• The crazy Canadians use photos of George Clooney and Orlando Bloom to encourage women to spread their legs. [FMT]

• Note to Rocco DiSpirito: putting a book by your night stand is not equivilant to reading. [R&M]

• A fake Jimmy Buffett is on the loose in the Hamptons, conning clam shakers out of their hard earned … clams … and getting 40 year old tennis moms to get parrot tattoos on their cleavage. [Page Six]

• Ah, Newsday. Always bringing us the news we're dying to know, such as "what are the cast members of Beverly Hills 90210 are doing now?" That's right, kids — absolutely nothing. [Newsday]

• Apple Martin: Gangsta rap fan? According to mommy Gwyneth Paltrow, the tot is a huge Jay-Z fan, which will at least spare her from listening to any Barney rhyme songs.

• Dr. Phil blew up backstage at David Letterman when producers informed him he'd play second fiddle to U.S. Open champ Roger Federer. He obviously didn't have one of his self-help books on hand.

• When he's not running around with Queer Eye Jai Rodriguez, Rocco DiSpirito is playing grab ass with party hostesses.

• The MTA OK'd the Bruce Ratner's $100 million plan for a new 8.3 acre Brooklyn home for his New Jersey Nets, offering more evidence that New York is foolishly becoming more tolerant to B&Ts.

Queer Eye Jai Rodriguez says those rumors about his dalliance with reality chef Rocco DiSpirito are completely invented.

They made it into something it wasn’t. We hang out, go to dinners, completely platonic. But I love him like a brother. It’s a little annoying. I used to feel very comfortable saying that Rocco was my gay boyfriend, but now I have to rephrase that. He’s my straight boyfriend.

But where's your straight girlfriend that you want so much, Jai?

Meanwhile, Rocco himself responds to the rumors with an even gayer response: "My reaction to that rumor is LOLOLOLOLOL!!!"

Oh well, looks like the Culture Vulture will be back to looking for some love online.