• Jake Gyllenhaal may not have scored on Oscar night, but Keira Knightley might be making up for things. [Page Six]
• Bam Margera's Oscar party ice breaker? He just got out of jail. [Page Six]
• Tag teaming last night's Oscar parties, Gatecrasher reveals both Entertainment Weekly's event at Elaine's and New York magazine's soiree at Spotted Pig were as uneventful as the awards show. But at least Malcolm Gladwell told us he had no idea what Jossip was. [Gatecrasher]
• We can only imagine the awkward tension at Barry Diller and Diane von Furstenberg's pre-pre-Oscar party when guest of honor Graydon Carter ran into Emmanuelle Seignier, wife of Roman Polanski who just sued the VF editor for libel. [Page Six]
• Michael Jackson doesn't only drop large sums on vases. He also spends a fortune catalog shopping — for mothers. [Fox 411]
• Crash may have won best Oscar, but now there are "rape" allegations. Well, allegations of getting raped financially, at least. [TMZ]
• If there are no gift bags, there are no Lindsay Lohans. [Page Six]
• Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are telling friends they're expecting America to bestow another nickname for an upcoming spawn. [Star]
• Everybody's out to get Jessica Simpson. Or at least get inside her. [Scoop]
• Heath Ledger, ever the class act, acknowledges his Independet Spirit Awards nom by spitting in his hand and jerking off. [USA Today]
• Fellow Elaine's patron Elaine Kaufman and Beatte Telle, the model at the center of this all, claim Roman Polanski did none of the thigh massaging Harper's editor Lewis Lapham claimed in a 2002 Vanity Fair article and again on the stand during the libel lawsuit.
• Walter Cronkite is boinking Carly Simon's sister Joanna. That's all we're going to say, because it makes us as ill as you are at this very moment.
• Melissa Gilbert is through with the Screen Actors Guild, actually admitting her decision not to seek a third term as president stemmed from internal fighting.
• New York mag continues exhibiting its personality disorder, finding the show critics hate (The Comeback) and defending it as a guilty pleasure.
• Upon learning even New York magazine staffers get denied from trendy nightspots, we don't feel so bad about the disastrous results trying to name drop Jossip at PM.
• When they're not taking over the radio waves with ubiquitous Top 40, Clear Channel is loading up on the Queer Channel, a new GLBT program debuting August 7. Which is sure to please their conservative investors.
• Jane Fonda gets up on her high war horse again, this time targetting the Iraqi war. You know, since her Vietnam efforts won't so well in the 70s.
• Whee, the teen fashion mags go back to school. This year's challenge: Making 15-year-old girls look more whorish.
• It doesn't take much, but somehow Kathy Griffin continually reminds us why she stays on the D-list.
• Lil Kim lies on the stand — and in her documentary.
Aw, snap! Vanity Fair is out 50,000 British pounds (or nearly $90,000 American dollars), owed to rapist-director Roman Polanksi. It took just 4.5 hours of deliberation for the jury to reach a verdict in Polanski's libel suit against Conde Nast, stemming from a 2002 article claiming he tried seducing a woman on his way to his wife's funeral.
The magazine's defense, aside from sticking by the claims made in its article, focused on the director's already-ruined reptuation after he pleaded guilty to statutory rape in 1977. Which, we got to admit, is a pretty good argument as far as we're concerned. (Which we're not.)
So how did VF editor Graydon Carter react? He shook his head, which wasn't as dramatic as we hoped (we wanted to see that mane of hair move, baby), but we're going to assume he also bore a disgruntled look on his un-Botoxed face.
