The roaches are always biggest at the end of the summer, and now they're taking over Radio City Music Hall. Hold onto your wallets, New York, because two weeks from yesterday, the World Business Forum is coming into town like a demon circus.
Despite being billed as "2 Inspiring Days" on the flier, anyone with a normal-sized brain and heart knows that "World Business Forum" is actually code for "darkened meeting in which covens of capitalists verbally fellate one another into believing that kicking the shit out of the common man isn't shameful."
If you've got the $2,290 participation fee, slither on over to 6th and 51st, and don't forget your waders, because it's bound to get pretty deep. Particularly awful should be Rudy "Fuckin' 9/11!!!!" Giuliani's take on how to put the government in your pocket and multi-multi-multi-millionaire Jack Welch, ex-CEO of GE, speaking about leadership. (Welch's most famous key to great leadership is, of course, aggressively opposing SEC regulation of outrageous executive compensation.) Oh, and David Rubenstein's speech on private equity ought to be very insightful for anyone interested in harboring fucking ridiculous ideas about how their fantastical wealth should face the lowest taxes the code allows.
MONEY! MONEY! MONEY! MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!
What could possibly be the reason the RNC decided to pull this introductory video for Sarah Palin moments before her speech yesterday?
Was it because Rudy Giuliani blabbered on too long?
Or was it because only Democrats saw An Inconvenient Truth and found the "PowerPoint Presentation As A Movie" genre worth clapping for?
Yes, Rudy Giuliani's speech about the qualifications of mayors ran long, which meant the RNC had to cancel the 15-minute "Meet Sarah Palin" video it wanted to show before the VP nominee took the stage. And yes, we were all a little anxious to see what the woman who could be a "heartbeat away" from the presidency had to say. But that doesn't mean we all took the pre-released notes about what Palin would say in her speech to whip together articles about what she actually said on stage — and then whip together articles for the wires before she even began talking. But there went Reuters and AFP, distributing copy about Palin's remarks prior to her making them. Sound familiar? That's because the Associated Press pulled this stunt at the DNC, running a precursory article about Barack Obama's speech before he took over the podium, leading to a pretty inaccurate summation of what went down that evening. (The AP even got the length of the speech wrong in its preemptive report; it had to update its copy to reflect the number of minutes Obama actually spoke.) And that whole thing got Keith Olbermann all riled up.
This whole "picking a president" thing has been gangbusters for cable news. Debates sent ratings soaring! Keith Olbermann is totally the man! Glenn Beck is still a crazy person! But what's driving all this interest from American TV watchers, who can usually be described as "lazy," "uninterested," and "not even watching TV"?
Talking heads! So let's peek at some of the most in-demand names that are fueling the television economy and, for all we know, supporting terrorism. CONTINUED »
I sat through fifteen minutes of Robohamlet before walking out. I know, I know - it's lame and rude and all that, but I had no choice.
CONTINUED »
Collectibles can be funny. About one in 70 Topps baseballs cards will included a picture of "American league fan" Rudy Giuliani airbrushed into the Red Sox victory pile-up.
• Cookin with Coolio is even more absurd than we had imagined.
• Finally, an answer for P.C. liberal democrats: MoveOn.org endorses Obama. CONTINUED »
• Despite the insistence of George Contanza, double-dipping really is like "like putting your whole mouth right in the dip."
• If you're L.A., be sure to check out the weed vending machines. CONTINUED »
And we're a big party. We're a big party and we're getting bigger.
I'm even in this party. This is a big party. We understand that America is not great because of our centralized government. America is great because of self-government. It's great because of you, the people, and we believe government works best when it empowers people to take responsibility for their own lives.
These are great ideas.
-Rudy Giuliani, using his rhetorical skills to explain why he won't be the Republican nominee for president.
Related: For Giuliani, a Dizzying Free-Fall
See the front page of today's New York Times? With the below-the-fold (but above-the-fold deserving) article that rips apart Rudy Giuliani's campaign? It's as if reporter Michael Cooper is the saving grace of the paper's political team, with this succinct examination of Rudy's heavy manipulation of statistics and data.
In almost every appearance as he campaigns for the Republican presidential nomination, Rudolph W. Giuliani cites a fusillade of statistics and facts to make his arguments about his successes in running New York City and the merits of his views. [...] All of these statements are incomplete, exaggerated or just plain wrong. And while, to be sure, all candidates use misleading statistics from time to time, Mr. Giuliani has made statistics a central part of his candidacy as he campaigns on his record.
Not only that, Cooper gets through the whole thing without a single mention of 9/11. Naturally, that's a number, so don't expect Giuliani to be able to do the same. Though, it's likely Cooper's article never would have run if it weren't for the Democratic opposition raising a stink about Giuliani's misuse of crime stats. But let's not let such trivia spoil a good hatchet job.
Like you, we’re sick of considering the poor Midwesterns who are forced to watch repeats of Dave Letterman because of the writers strike. Let’s be honest, Dave Letterman is not that funny, even with writers. Those Midwesterns should have better late night plans anyway.
But pothead college students, we care about those kids, if only because we’re just like them except with degrees. We also care about the 2008 election; we’re suckers for democracy.
So after many weeks, there’s finally a new angle to the writers’ strike: What are the stoned college kids missing out on now that fake news is in reruns? CONTINUED »
Although we can’t always shake the nasty habit of writing in the royal we, occasionally one of our editors decides to shake off the cloak of anonymity to write a short, pithy statement long, rambling diatribe about a topic of their choice. Today, Debbie Newman is that editor.
According to a new Harvard University study, "nearly two-thirds of Americans do not trust press coverage of the 2008 presidential campaign." Moreover, "four out of five people believe coverage focuses too much on the trivial — and more than 60 percent believe coverage is politically biased."
Fortunately, it looks as though they can't blame everything on the mainstream media. As everyone who watched last night's overly-hyped Republican YouTube debate learned, politicians are pretty good at making themselves look boring/trivial, not to mention mindlessly repetitive.
Rudy Giuliani is the only person running for President who is happy with his coverage on Fox. After allegations that Fox News is not-too-subtly supporting him, Fred Thompson went further saying that the channel has been disparaging of his campaign.
On Fox News Sunday, Thompson said:
For you to highlight nothing but the negatives in terms of the polls and then put on your own guys who have been predicting for four months, really, that I couldn't do it, kind of skew things a little bit. There's a lot of other opinion out there.
Yeah, like Arthur Branch is the best District Attorney on Law & Order and Fred Thompson’s wife is a babe.
…why Judith Regan turned down a reported $6.5 million settlement offer and decided she'd rather take her chances in court, accuse her former bosses of colluding with News Corp. and claim she was fired not for greenlighting an offensive step-by-step guide to double homicide but, rather, as part of some giant conspiracy to get Rudy Giuliani elected president?
The Judith Regan lawsuit conjured up some disturbing mental images of the former editrix and Bernard Kerik. But less unsettling was the allegation that News Corp. was trying to protect “America’s Mayor,” Rudy Giuliani.
Indeed the two have long ties. Roger Ailes and Giuliani go way back to his first failed run for mayor in 1989. In 1994, for a reception honoring Ailes, Giuliani prepared a speech where he wrote, "Roger has played an important role in my own career." Aw, thanks Rog. CONTINUED »
In Rudolph Giuliani’s narrative of his own life, as confided to rapt Republican voters along the presidential primary trail, he has been fighting the lonely twilight struggle against “Islamic terrorism,” as he insists on calling it, since sometime in the 1970’s. Like President Bush, Mr. Giuliani is vain enough to compare himself with Winston Churchill. Both the former mayor and his supporters often suggest that his understanding of the terror threat is visceral and almost mystical. Only he, among all the candidates of both parties, truly grasps the issue and possesses the fortitude to confront the threat.
–Excerpted from Joe Conason's article "Rudy's Glass House" in today's New York Observer
A new and, undoubtedly, extremely scientific poll reveals that the majority of Americans picked Hillary Clinton when asked which of the 2008 presidential candidates would make the "scariest" Halloween costume. For the purposes of this (ahem) study, only so-called "major" candidates were considered, which evidently explains why munchkin Dennis Kucinich once more finds himself completely out of the running. Reports CNN:
Thirty-seven percent in an Associated Press-Ipsos survey this month chose the New York senator, the front-runner among Democratic presidential contenders. Fourteen percent selected former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, who leads Republicans in national polls.
No other candidate exceeded 6 percent.
Wow, Hillary Clinton first in the polls with Republican adversary Rudy Giuliani trailing at a distant second? No one could have predicted this! In all seriousness, though, we're not particularly surprised to see Hill with an uncontested lead.
Unless your name is Rudy Giuliani, you'll agree it's been a shitty week for Yankees fans. Last night, you watched (or, more likely, consciously didn't watch) the Red Sox easily overtake the Colorado Rockies in a 4-game World Series sweep. And you also may have heard the news that A-Rod has opted out of his contract with the Yanks, presumably to play for a team where the fans don't hate him despite record-breaking seasons and the newspaper don't chronicle his (allegedly) adulterous behavior. So to help ease the pain, here are pictures of baseball hottie Jacoby Ellsbury.
Sure, he plays for the other team—but there''s no harm in fantasizing about what he looks after that heinous uniform comes off, now is there? Besides, haven't you ever heard the term "sleeping with the enemy?"
Have you heard? Rudy "Flip-Flop" Giuliani was recently outed as a dirty politician who'll say or do anything (even root against his precious New York Yankees) for a vote. And the Daily News has proof!
• Presidential hopeful (and devout Yankees fan) Rudy Giulani recently admitted he's rooting for the Red Sox in the World Series. If the man can't maintain a firm stance on baseball teams, how can we trust that he'll stick to his avid pro-choice agenda?
• Disappointed Kelly Rowland fans are tersely informed that there will be no concert or ticket refunds. Then again, hadn't they already essentially thrown their money in the trash by purchasing tix to a Kelly Rowland concert in the first place?
• Jemma Ward is neither Chinese nor Indian, yet she was on the cover for the premiere issues of both Vogue China and Vogue India. That girl is fierce.
• Lindsay Lohan is a living, breathing testament to the fact that nothing cures long-term drug abuse and chronic alcoholism like dirty rehab sex and covert pill-popping.
Editorial Director
