God, Rumer Willis is the weirdest. Let's just forget about how she looks for a moment though, and focus on the important stuff, like how well she is using her daddy issues to get ahead in the industry:

And while most 20-year-olds want nothing to do with their parents, Rumer loves hanging out with hers — particularly stepdad Ashton Kutcher…."He definitely is a father-slash-older brother figure, but at the same time I can go out (to bars) with him and have an amazing time.’ ”

The same goes for her dad, Bruce. “I walked in [to a club] once and my friends were like, ‘Your dad’s over there.’ He was sitting with some girls. I just laughed. I was like, ‘Dad, she’s not cute,’ ” she says. “Everyone is scared of him because he seems so badass, but he’s a goofball. He’s like a 17-year-old kid.”

No, sorry. Dad's are not supposed to be your friends, who you go out and drink with when you're underage (Rumer is 20), or who you see at clubs, hitting on girls your age. That speaks both of irresponsibly parenting and step-parenting, as well as a bad grasp on how to successfully exploit your child-of-celebs status.

Rumer? Don't overstep your bounds and go all Mildred Pierce on Demi. She seems like your best hope for a responsible parental figure. Even if she may have body dimorphic disorder.

For some silly reason, both Rumer Willis and Brittny Gastineau have not heard that Gossip boy Chace Crawford may not swing for their team. Learning this information will help them understand why he showed exactly zero interest in them at a birthday party they all attended, despite Rumer's wearing "the shortest jean shorts." Or maybe it's because he has seen both Rumer and Brittny in daylight. You would've thought Rumer learned her lesson when a previous outfit consisting of a "see-through her white dress [and ...] a black bra underneath" failed to earn his gaze.

• WHILE zipped-up Jennifer Aniston was working in Philly over the weekend, her wild beau, John "The Player" Mayer, was tearing it up in New York. Revelers at the Anchor Bar in SoHo spotted the crooner "dancing on a table and chugging vodka straight from the bottle" at about 3 a.m. Saturday. In contrast, Aniston's tame weekend included a "low-key Saturday night dinner" at the Philadelphia eatery El Vez "with three girlfriends and two bodyguards." [P6]

• Rumer Willis, 19-year-old daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, fueled by Red Bull and dancing at the Plumm on a table to the Smiths' "How Soon Is Now?" [R&M]

People magazine named Kate Hudson it's Most Beautiful Person in its annual "100 Most Beautiful" issue. Then again, Rumer Willis was also included on the list, so you can imagine how much authority this thing carries. [People]

Emily Brill, daughter of faded magazine honco Steve, now fancies herself a gossip columnist. Blogging about her sightings of Chace Crawford and Rumer Willis, Emliy writes the duo were seen together at Rose Bar around 2:30am, leaving together for the Beatrice Inn "via one big black Escalade." Lady Brill, perhaps perturbed she's not a part of that scene, posits the twosome might be an item, proving she clearly has no idea about blogs after all.

• Rumer Willis is denied at the cool kid Hollywood club.

• Jessica Alba took advantage of her last days with a good body by doing a spread for Latina magazine.

• Jake Gyllenhaal dumped Kirsten Dunst for her partying, or so is the digest version of the complexities of human relationships as described by Us Weekly.

• Britney Spears gets out of a car, chaos ensues.

• Subway kitty lives! Oh, how the feline spirit enlivens the human one.

Our daily attempt to help you seem smart, even if you’re not.

primeval \prye-MEE-vul\ adjective : of or relating to the earliest ages (as of the world or human history) : ancient, primitive

It must be primeval instinct to care about the spawn of celebrities, otherwise, why would Rumer Willis be famous?

[Photo Credit: WireImage]

Was that Alex Rodriguez trying to mack it to the much junior Rumer Willis at GQ's Men of the Year party at the Chateau Marmont in L.A.? Why yes, yes it was, says one attendee who claims to have tried, unsuccessfully, to cop a feel of EIC Jim Nelson's junk.

• Tyra Banks is worried that prospective suitors will wig out after discovering that she's not so much "fierce" as she is overweight and bald.

• Stop it, Amy Winehouse. You're not fooling anyone! At least, not anymore…

• Ever wondered how Rumers get started? This totally explains it.

• Britney's lawyer asked a judge this morning if his client's meddling "driving without a license" thing could be stayed until January 1st.

• Good thing, too! Us Weekly's omnipresent paparazzi caught the brake-impaired pop star running three stop signs later that very same day. (For her part, Brit insists that she "totally paused!")

• Find out what a hot, marginally intelligent person thought of Live Free Or Die Hard.

Voyeurs, rejoice. If you’ve been following the Jakob Lodwick-Julia Allison drama from their separate tumblr blogs, you may have grown tired of reading about Julia’s new apartment and Jakob’s plans for Vimeo.

Well, Jakob and Julia have made following their lives easier than ever. The two have joined forces and launched jakobandjulia.com, a site devoted to their relationship. Thanks, guys!

Remarkably, the fight over whether it should be juliaandjakob.com is not online.

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Congratulations, Rumer Willis. The spawn of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis will be Miss Golden Globe 2008.

While it might not seem like a big deal that Rumer Willis will be handing “you’re probably going to win the Oscar” awards, E! insists that it is. And if E! doesn’t know about these things, who would?

CONTINUED »

• The fat one from N'Sync tries to educate Britney on the art of fading into obscurity.

• Allow us to show you what your favorite celebrities will look like three plastic surgeries from now.

• Rumer Willis' new peroxide-blond 'do would look so much better if she was wearing one of her trademark ugly hats.

• Joel Madden may not have cheated on Nicole with Hilary Duff, but we're guessing he at least ogled her funbags.

• Will Smith's adorable son Jayden to star in the remake of Karate Kid that nobody wanted.

• After earning praise for her navy backless number at the Academy Awards, Hilary Swank takes another fashion risk by dressnig up as a Human X-Ray.

So the story goes, you can blame Rumer Willis for the above.

(We do, however, love TMZ for always being the ones with the cameras who are just documenting the trouble that other paparazzi get into. There's a nicer view when you're standing on a pedestal.)