Psssst! Have you heard the latest (unsubstantiated) rumors about the always-gargantuan, and sometimes-philanthropic Kimora Lee Simmons?
• Do not hang out with Dori Cooperman unless you want to end up with a botched lypo job, coke in your pants or a Range Rover that runs people over.
• Angelina Jolie is reportedly depressed that her black-facey impression of Mariane Pearl was a box office flop.
• Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow are getting back together…for some boring political drama that you probably won't bother to go see.
• There's something kind of awesome about the Russell and Kimora Lee Simmons family reunions. Typically, it's the "I'm too old to pretend I ever loved this giant, giraffe of a woman" expression on Russell's face.
• Sumner Redstone is being sued by his son, Michael and is currently feuding with his daughter, Shari, but his brother Edward is totally not crazy at all.
• Congratulations to Kelly Rowland, who has finally learned to begrudgingly accept the color of her skin.
• Apparently, naming your kid "Jermajesty" isn't normal even if your name is Jermaine Jackson. [via Us]
Part-time spouses Russell and Kimora Simmons are pissed at In Touch. They even told a New York State Supreme Court how unhappy they are with the Bauer tabloid, relays Stereohyped. But in an unusual twist when it comes to celebrities and their accusations of libel, it's not clear what they're so ornery about. CONTINUED »
• Star Jones allowed back on television, but only in a role she's practiced.
• Maybe they're moving to the Dakota, maybe they're not — but TomKat won't be separated in Shreveport, La.
• Former Miss Teen USA Vanessa Minillo will help The Donald choose the next crackwhore named Miss USA.
• Russell Simmons is A-OK with Djimon Hounsou having sloppy Kimora seconds.
• Matthew McConaughey has been showing off his V on the beach all for a movie role.
• Barack Obama walked into a room.
• Hollywood, circa 2037 … is gross.
CONTINUED »
• Russell Simmons (seen here plugging something at Art Basel), puppet for corporate America? The audacity!
• Saturday Night Live once again ripping off the lesser knowns?
• Samuel L. Jackson and 50 Cent get over their feud to make a movie and make money, make money.
• LaLo ditches celeb friends, alcohol to party with her nobody gal pals, water.
• Paris Hilton and Britney Spears aren't lovers. They're just one-week friends who will have nothing to do with each other after the New Year.
• Lane Garrison's car crash could've been prevented if he would've settled for Absolut.
• Gwyneth Paltrow makes her real estate decisions based on public attitude toward her.
• Rosie O'Donnell draws local ire.
• How much does John Edwards want to be president? Enough to let Russell Simmons kick his ass. [Lowdown]
• See, at least Pete Doherty has the balls to admit there’s bullshit in his published diaries. [NME]
• Hey, what do you know Lars Ulrich and Metallica finally joined the digital world. Poverty does funny things to your morals eh Lars? [Billboard]
• Apparently even the most die-hard of Beyonce’s fans want to vomit at the idea of her and Jay-Z making out. [Y!]
We're not sure what was more shocking for Intern Zack when he picked up this week's issue of New York: another "best of" cover, or a byline in the Intelligencer from Jesse Oxfeld. (Is he not shuffling papers over at Us Weekly then?) Anyways, Adam Moss must have taken the "this mag is getting way too elitist, where's our cheap ass food?" advice and decided to go with yet another listicles issue. Oh, and as it turns out, the Observer isn't the only thing Robert De Niro doesn't really want anymore.
• If you knew Nicholas Bartha at all, you were likely not surprised that he tried to blow himself up to get back at his wife and daughters. [Fall of the House of Bartha]
• Russell Simmons’ idea that God is sexy is probably one of the reasons why he’s currently a single man. [The Sweet Smell of Simmons]
• Just when we thought we had gotten rid of all deluded, off-their-rocker, media moguls (ahem, Ted Turner) some guy like Mark Cuban comes along and ruins the whole damn party. [Why Mark Cuban is the High-Def Image of Ted Turner]
• If you ever needed a scapegoat to blame for your inability to concentrate on anything for longer than 2 minutes, an addiction to Starbucks, and your obsession with Gideon Yago, blame it on MTV. [I Want My A.D.D]
• Steve Carrell teaches us that it is possible to fuck around until you’re in your 40s and still make something of yourself. [The Office and Little Miss Sunshine Star Steve Carrell Goes Hollywood]
Table of Contents [New York Magazine]
• Turning 64 is as good as butta'. Barbra Streisand, today (like every other one) is your day! [Perez Hilton]
• Russell Simmons and Nick Lachey are in a competition to see who can sleep with the most women before his divorce is finalized. [Page Six]
• Rappers tell kids to be careful with their spending. No additional commentary needed. [ABC]
• First we had the list of worst albums ever. But now we have something even better — "The 50 Worst Things Ever to Happen to Music" according to Blender. [Mirror]
• It seems that George Michael's pot smoking has done wonders for his ticket sales. [Mirror]
• Velvet Revolver's Scott Weiland drunkenly belts out a Guns n Roses song at Key Bar. Don't worry, it wasn't the one in the East Village, meaning you're all safe from old rock star karaoke feuds. [Page Six]
• Even though Russell Simmons didn't bring his girlfriend to the event he hosted with Kimora Lee, things still got awkward. [R&M]
• A member of Eminem's posse D12 was shot and killed outside a Detroit after-hours club. Proof is actually proof that Detroit is a scary, scary place. [MTV]
• Jennifer Lopez, who no one cares about anymore, is suing her first husband, who no one has ever heard of. The only person who cares about any of this is Marc Anthony. [TMZ]
• Las Vegas, where divas go to die, is adopting Cher. She just signed a deal to take over for Celine Dion at Ceasar's Palace next year. [Page Six]
• Surprisingly, the Stock Market does not wait for Diddy. Apparently Diddy would likely "be late for his own funeral." Who doesn't show up fashionably late for their own publicity stunt? [Page Six]
• Russell Simmons and Kimora Lee are not necessarily breaking up for good. They can stay together as long as she continues to let him sleep with younger models. [Lowdown]
• Here are Rolling Stone's 10 bands to watch in 2006. But to be honest, if you haven't already heard of these bands, the indie kids are never going to be impressed. [Rolling Stone]
• Shakira is modest. Really, she is. Sure, she's never worn a shirt that skank out her body and show her stomach, but that's really not her fault. [The Scoop]
• We're just impressed that the stoners got their shit together enough to organize stealing Jerry Garcia's toilet in the first place. [USAT]
• Hey Howard Stern. Just because a homeless dude spit in your face does not make you special. This is New York, just spit right back. [TMZ]
• Jim Schachter is there to help New York Times magazine with their "growing pains." We wonder if he's just as dreamy as Kirk Cameron? [Gawker]
• Sarah Ivens explains that she is "priceless." In other words, it's embarrassing how little OK! is paying her. [NYP]
• MySpace takes down 200,000 "offensive sites." We're so glad Colin Farrell is my Bitch wasn't a victim of this. [FT]
• It's true … but not that sad. Kimora Lee Simmons and and Russell Simmons are officially a non-item. [People]
• The Villager always does such a good job reporting on what the NYU newspaper is reporting on. [The Viilager]
• Miuccia Prada to design for H&M? Start preparing for full-contact shopping. [Vogue]
• Madonna reinvents herself yet again. This time, she goes for the "clown" image, which is probably the only look she can actually pull off at this point. [Sun]
• Tom Cruise says that (unlike when he knocked her up) at the birth of Katie Holmes' baby, there will no screaming and no drugs. [Us Weekly]
• Facebook is on the block, but you can't stick that high of a price tag on a site that will never live up to wonder that is MySpace. [Business Week]
• Kevin Federline keeps sucking out all Britney Spears' money, and now, she might die. Well, she couldn't pay her bodyguards, and y'all know somebody's got to want to kill her. [TMZ]
• Rumors of Kimora Lee and Russell Simmons' split are tied to Russell's new yoga lovin' girlfriend Denise Vasi. Who would have thought Jivamukti Yoga Center could contribute to the destruction of a marriage? [Gatecrasher]
