Remember when Jessica Simpson was working on that terrible film, Major Movie Star? We all predicted it would go straight to DVD, but it turned out even better: The movie never opened here in the US and has yet to be released to Blockbuster. Score!

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Sorry America, here's your video of the Russian prime minister beating up people with his patented Patin Judo method. Let's see Sarah Palin tell the Cossak to "shoo, get back over there" now.

From the second half of Katie Couric's interview with vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin, airing tonight:

COURIC: You've cited Alaska's proximity to Russia as part of your foreign policy experience. What did you mean by that?

PALIN: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and on our other side, the land– boundary that we have with– Canada. It– it's funny that a comment like that was– kind of made to– cari– I don't know, you know? Reporters–

COURIC: Mock?

PALIN: Yeah, mocked, I guess that's the word, yeah.

COURIC: Explain to me why that enhances your foreign policy credentials.

PALIN: Well, it certainly does because our– our next door neighbors are foreign countries. They're in the state that I am the executive of. And there in Russia–

COURIC: Have you ever been involved with any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?

PALIN: We have trade missions back and forth. We– we do– it's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is– from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to– to our state.

Here in the States, Jason Binn's Niche Media just unveiled its latest luxury pub Michigan Avenue, taking his brand of party photos, friendly-to-advertisers fashion, and "The List" to Chicago's wealth trenches. But abroad, it's Russia's new luxury title that's grabbing a bit of attention, if only for the magazine's name: Snob. Indeed, at £10 a copy, it certainly presumes itself to be. Snob, from "playboy oligarch" Mikhail Prokhorov (the oil tycoon worth $24 billion, pictured), joins an already growing field of upscale Russian titles, including Vogue Russia and a Russian edition of British society magazine Tatler, and goes after the entire Russian diaspora, which means wealthy aristocrats — and your average professional — living in New York, London, and Paris are hopeful readers. Supposedly, the entry of Snob represents the signal change of Russian society: "The full-on extravagance, the red lipstick, the diamonds, the furs – all that is passé," says Vogue Russia editor Aliona Doletskaya. Oh, how we've missed Anna Anisimova.

Along with blue jeans and Bruce Springsteen, a new American commodity is being controversially exported to the Motherland. South Park, which sparked controversy and loud public cries for its removal from American television in 1997, is finally making its way over to Russia, where some fundamentalist religious groups are hating it. Along with Family Guy, Brendon Small's Metalocalypse, and 12 other raunchy cartoons, public prosecutors are seeking to ban what America long-ago gave up trying to regulate. Wonder why?

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'According to Russian media reports, Putin, taking a break from lambasting the West over Georgia, was visiting the Ussuriisky Nature Reserve in the far east of Russia to see how researchers monitor the tigers in the wild.

'Just as Putin was arriving with a group of wildlife specialists to see a trapped Amur tiger, it escaped and ran toward a nearby camera crew, the country's main television station said. Putin quickly shot the beast and sedated it with a tranquilizer gun.

'"Vladimir Putin not only managed to see the giant predator up close but also saved our television crew too," a presenter on Rossiya television said at the start of the main evening news.' [MSNBC]

The Russia-Georgia conflict won't just test President Bush's ability to man up and defend one of the few countries willing to support his war in Iraq — it's also testing the media's ability to survive the conflict. So far, we've counted at least three attacks on journalists trying to cover Russia's invasion of Georgian territory.

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"The UN has estimated that 20,000 civilians have been forced to flee their homes since fighting began in Georgia. The BBC's Gavin Hewitt reports from the frontline near the town of Gori, where Russian planes have been in action. As he reported on the fate of civilians in Georgia, his team came under attack from Russian fire." [Video]

In not entirely surprising news, Russia's Communist party has condemned the fourth installment of Indiana Jones, courtesy its "crude anti-Soviet propaganda that distorted history"; they've called for it to be banned from Russian cinemas. It might have a little something to do with Harrison Ford playing the role of a 1957 archeologist who's facing off against Cate Blanchett's evil KGB agent character. (Jones has previously battled the Nazis, Egyptians, and Bedouins.)

Says Viktor Perov, a Communist Party member in Russia's second city of St Petersburg: "What galls is how together with America we defeated Hitler, and how we sympathized when Bin Laden hit them. But they go ahead and scare kids with Communists. These people have no shame." [Reuters]

He then went on to criticize Sex and the City for promoting the idea that women could wear dresses, bags, and heels instead of traditional sarafans, rubashkas, and kokoshniks. And also for scaring kids with Communists.

Here's the new Heidi Montag single. We imagine that this song will sell because the music industry isn't taste driven, though probably not to anyone who caught that Radiohead reference here.

For those who want to avoid bleeding ears and eyes, the video feels like it was produced in Russia immediately following the fall of communism. It's as if fake breasts and blond hair were the truest form of expression.

No offense to the Russians.

Poor Shelly Sindland. The senior correspondent for Fox 61 in Hartford has had no luck getting Hillary Clinton or Michelle Obama to chat with her at recent voter meet-and-greet events that had no scheduled reporter Q&As.

In Hartford on Monday, Hillary Clinton totally snubbed Sindland. And then last night at roundtable a Stamford diner, Michelle Obama wouldn’t answer any questions from Sindland. The nerve!

As she said, “I had more freedom of the press in the former Soviet Union.”

Okay, this isn’t the Soviet Union. Like not even a little bit. Even though Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama are public figures, they don’t owe answers to every reporter in every situation ever.

And Chelsea Clinton was smart not to answer questions from that 9-year-old reporter for Scholastic News in Iowa. Because whatever she said would have been national news; even what she didn’t say was national news.

With a 24-hour new cycle and YouTube capturing every tear, politicians have a right to say no to questions occasionally. Killing inquisitive journalists in the Soviet Union, or even modern-day Russia, that was crossing the line.

Hey, what’s up Johnny Mac? How’s the Davis Cup going? And the gig at CBS? Still think you can beat the Williams sisters?

Oh, nothing going on any of those issues? Well, what do you think about the Russian mob? What? They’re threatening players, and that’s why Nikolay Davydenko lost in Poland. Damn, what a story.

Way to live up to your outspoken reputation. Just be careful of your kneecaps if you want to keep rocking the doubles tour.

When flipping through the New Yorker for cartoons, the ad above always gave us pause. Mikhail Gorbachev, aka birthmark head, was the last leader of the USSR. A Louis Vuitton bag is like the least communist object ever. Mikhail Gorbachev and Louis Vuitton are both too serious for irony, so what’s the deal?

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