• Contrary to popular belief, the other members of 98 Degrees did not die in a fiery accident. They’re alive and making dumbass mistakes just like the rest of the C-listers. [Newsday]

• Liza Minelli is proof that you can douse yourself with enough pills to take down a horse and still find work. [NYDN]

• We’re guessing they don’t have laws against spitting on people in Canada. [Perez Hilton]

• Without ever having heard a single note of his music, Fab Five Freddy should be an idol for all you kids out there. Somewhere, Kanye West is steaming with jealousy. [Page Six]

• We know we sort of told you about this already, but, we're still laughing at Ryan Adams' attempt at rapping. [NME]

• Even if David Hasselhoff's daughter was sent to the hospital with a cat scratch, it's still not funny. [TMZ]

• Here is one thing we can not blame the media for. [OC Register]

• The only thing missing from your bedroom full of Brooks Brothers suits? An Esquire coffee table book. [Ad Age]

• Ryan Adams wrote this song especially for you. Try to keep the chunks down. [Gawker]

• Well, 11 Spring Street is finally off the market. [Curbed]

Maybe Jessica Joffe needs to keep a closer watch on her rumored boyfriend Ryan Adams? Roger Friedman over at Fox 411 has (and this may be a first for us) a little blurb that caught our eye this morning. Apparently at the Toronto Film Festival this weekend, quite a few celebs showed face.

Also in the Fairmont but not invited to the Clinton dinner: much of the cast of Christopher Guest’s “For Your Consideration.” We ran into Michael McKeon, Michael Hitchcock and Jennifer Coolidge in the lobby, while Parker Posey was busy checking in with a musician presumed to be Ryan Adams.

As many of you may already know, Parker Posey was Adams' arm candy until the two broke up and Adams went for the nicest, kindest, sweetest, girl who most looked like Parker Posey and worships indy music gods. Even so, we don't actually think this piece of gossip is true — mainly because Ryan was on tour over the weekend.

But obviously Friedman asked around about who dates Parker Posey, and uh, Jessica Joffe's boyfriend is still their answer …

Toronto: All About Penelope [Roger Friedman, Fox 411 (last item)]

• Newspapers continue to ignore the fact that Jeffrey Epstein was accused of raping underage girls and running a sex ring of high-schoolers, which he refers to as "his petting zoo," out of his mansion.

• Ryan Adams called us loveless destructors of the Earth because we showed an advertisement featuring his girlfriend/best human being on the planet ever Jessica Joffe.

• Lloyd Grove still has a column … through the end of August at least.

• Out magazine, gays, and Aaron Hicklin all love them some Johnny Knoxville.

• You can't, like, ask Lindsay Lohan to stop partying. That's what she does. It's her thing.

• Oh, yeah. And Mel Gibson got drunk, drove a car, screamed about hating Jews, and then checked himself into rehab. And more or less ruined his entire career.

Please forgive our lack of gossip mongering this morning. We've had some "technical problems" … also known as "Ryan Adams put a jinx on us." We hope to return back to our regularly scheduled bitching and moaning as soon as possible.

Conde Nast 2, (you know the little Fairstepchildren over at other building?) are doing their part to make sure Queens doesn't blow out again. And all these energy saving procedures they are being forced to follow are surely depriving stick figures of proper reading light levels. We've actually heard it's gotten so extreme that the lights are off in the common areas and staffers practically need night goggles to get through the lobby. Ok, maybe we're exaggerating a bit … but, it's all for a good cause.

Remember, though — this is not at 4 Times Square. (Unless you real Condes got a memo, too, which in case, we'd be happy to take a look.) You know what would happen if they tried to take lighting away there, right? On the off chance that Jessica Joffe stopped by to collect her freelance check and couldn't see anything, Ryan Adams would surely fly into the greatest fit of rage you've ever seen.

CONTINUED »

When we saw the comments on our site yesterday, in regards to Jessica Joffe's Banana Republic ad, one stuck out in particular. Not just because it basically called us loveless losers who are destroying the world, but also because it was signed, "Ryan Adams, fuck up, human being, charmed citizen of earth in support of JJ." Actually, we'll just give you the whole thing.

To trash a decent, thoughtful, hardworking beautiful person is exactly what one would expect of you and websites such as this. You make the world, each day you do this to people, a worse place to live. Do what you like, trash who you must, but know that kharma is a bitch. The reason you are so attracted to causing pain and judging others, is because of the obvious lack of kindness and love in your own life. I hope you are proud of yourself. Every day you continue to tear people down, I hope you think about what kind of world you are creating and what you are leaving for your children and others.

Ryan Adams,
fuck up, human being, charmed citizen of earth in support of JJ.

Ryan Adams like the singer Ryan Adams? Well, his website seems to confirm it. In response to his fans wondering if this really was him, leaving his poetic words of wonderment on our little blog, he confirms.

was me in fact. that shit just aint cool.

After recovering from the initial horror that Ryan Adams doesn't think we're cool, and then re-reading the post to find anything actually offensive (which we didn't) we got to thinking: why is this charmed citizen of earth so diligently supporting another charmed citizen of the Earth? Is she like, inspiring his next album? God, is this another one of those Chloe Sevingy / Morrissey relationships? Or was Gawker right?

Is Jessica Joffe really eating up all Parker Posey's sloppy seconds in the form of one Ryan Adams? Come to think of it, their babies would be all cute and cherub-like.

Ryan Comments on Jossip Regarding Jessica Joffe
Earlier: Earn Your Double Rewards Points With Jessica Joffe

• Wait a minute, Mariah Carey is now asking reporters to punch her in the stomach? We'd pay to see that. Hell, we'd participate. [Page Six]

• Scott Stapp was freed of charged for public intoxication while boarding a plane for his honeymoon. Stapp promises that someday we won't be hearing about him in tabloids anymore. We're keeping our fingers crossed. [People]

• Someone made Jay-Z pay for a drink? What is the world coming to? [Lowdown]

• Two men may be sentenced for up to eleven years in prison for pirating Ryan Adam's music. Adam, however, was too high to make an official statement. [MSNBC]

• Two Million people have downloaded "My Humps" as their cellphone ringer. We are absolutely thrilled that this song is actually following us everywhere we go, and that it's not only in our heads. [DMN]

• Luther Vandross may have been gay, but he sure got a lot of men into a lot of women's pants in his day. [R&M]

• Grammy's galore! Will Mariah Carey sweep? Will Kanye West cry? Will Madonna maintain her crown as oldest woman to wear a leotard on national television? (Hint: Yes.) Get your Grammy gin and juice on, it's only a few hours away. [AP]

• Lindsay Lohan's supposed secret relationship with Ryan Adams may be a good influence on her — after a few months hangin' around him she'll have "inhale" tattooed on her other wrist. [Rush & Molloy]

• Pete Doherty has been sentenced to 12 months of community service for his multiple drug charges. Is roaming around parks with easy access to dealers really better than, say, rehab? [Billboard]

• We suppose a family friendly musical on Disney is a little better than tweens lying about their age and talking about how much they drink on MySpace. [NY Times]

• Usually when two people are standing on a table at Foxwoods at 12:45 at night, it's not to publicize a high-powered business union, but when it's Jay-Z and Nas, it's almost as exciting as a Lohan/Moss strip-off. [MTV]

• Jurmaine Dupree may never have won a Grammy despite his work on many award-winning albums, but he does go home to Janet Jackson every night. Which explains his "all hours of the night" work ethic. [NY Times]

• Don't feel like sifting through uber-prolific Ryan Adam's entire catalogue? Check out New York magazine's cheat sheet on how to distinguish him from all the other scruffy ambiguously hobo-looking guys walking around the East Village. [NYMag]

• Gothamist's interview with Overnight will leave you wondering why you don't hang out at Port Authority with trannies more often. [Gothamist]

• Popmatters has some predictions for what will be considered the greatest pop bands of all time. And while the baby-boomers got Elvis, The Rolling Stones, and The Beatles, we have U2 and Dave Matthews Band to boast our generation's utmost hipness. [PopMatters]

• So much for Uptown Girl. Billy Joel drags his wife to the outskirts of Chelsea, after selling his Tribeca loft for a new West Village space. [Page Six]

• Big shocker here: Motley Crue singer Vince Neil acted inappropriately at a fundraiser he agreed to perform at over the weekend. Note to organizers: first make them sing, then unleash them on the open bar. [Lowdown]

• Hockey games: great for getting drunk and yelling at people in masks, bad for the excessive amount of call and response songs. [Hockey Music]

• The plot of CBS's new record industry-inspired show, Love Monkey, is believable. About as beleivable as the possibly that it will relaunch Jason Priestly's career. [NYT]

• Jay-Z and Nas bury the hatchet. In the name of money, of course. [MTV]

• Oh, will Johnny Cash's daughter shut the f up already? She's like the only person in the world who didn't like this movie. Plus, didn't we learn anything this year about "memoirs?" They don't really have to be true. [People]

• Time prints a list of the "5 Voices You Need To Hear." And if that's not weird enough, Ryan Adams makes the list. (Just don't call him Bryan Adams … we hear he gets real testy about that.) [Time]

• The more we see of old artists' unreleased material, remastered albums, and outtakes, the less alluring they become. Hear that, Tupac crew? [PopMatters]