Oh come on, you knew this day was coming. The day where you'd have to tear down all your Ryan Seacrest posters, scribble out his name in your notebooks, and stop planning for the time when you two could own all forms of media, forever and ever amen.
The day has arrived where there finally exists photographic evidence of Ryan Seacrest's alleged metrosexuality in action, with American Idol's Randy Jackson no less:
This picture is the opposite of Yum-o. This picture, however, is the definition of going full homo. No straight man can be in the same room with suspected terrorist Rachael Ray for that long, even if it is a synergistic promotion for both of your shows. (American Idol debuts on Monday and the Rachel Ray Show never ends. Ever.)
America must have passed around some sort of petition saying they wanted their next Rupert Murdoch to have frosted tips and a tiny snub nose, because how else would you explain why Ryan Seacrest is becoming the next media mogul? Sorry, not mogul, "media player," which is what happens when someone like Seacrest decides to split from William Morris and take his agent with him (that's a buy out) to start his own empire. Young Anakin Seacrest will soon be Ryan Seacrest Inc. — he's already attached his name to Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve — not surprising since the man has his hand in every honey pot in town (except the one that is a euphemism for vaginas).
Seacrest not only make $12.5 million per season for American Idol and almost twice that for a 3-year contract with E! Entertainment, but the guy is literally his own brand in about eight different ways (Ryan Seacrest Productions, radio show On Air With Ryan Seacrest, Seacrest Sales, and radio division Sea Calm). Which seems incredible because honestly, the man is a cipher. If all it took to make a fortune was blond hair and an annoying smile, than half Orange County would already be famous. Oh wait.
Speaking of all those NBC execs who left NYC for Beijing, the network's co-chairman Ben Silverman is over there, and working! But not for NBC.
He's filing reports for Ryan Seacrest's KIIS FM radio show, and breaks news like "The Great Wall is an understatement. It's the 'Awesome Wall!'"; says borderline-offensive things about his Chinese guide like "Her name is Fun Fun, so you can imagine how much fun-fun Fun Fun is"; and, in revealing that been referring to the main Olympic stadium, the Bird's Nest, as the "Bird Cage," has shown he's living up to his likes to party reputation. [B&C]
It's a good year to have a fake job. First, all those Bigfoot researchers are getting some airtime. Then Jon Stewart gets fingered as the most trusted man in news. And now "Outstanding Reality Host" is a category at this year's Emmys. Taking this nonsense a step further, the nominees won't just have their names read off a teleprompter — the five contestants nominees will group-host the primetime ceremony. But as we all know in reality show hosting, one day you're in, the next day, you're out. So who's going to show up for the opening of an envelope and hear her own name called?
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While NBC and Ryan Seacrest were all sorts of excited to announce their new reality project, Momma's Boys (apply here!), last week, at least one person wasn't to thrilled.
That would be Lutfu Murat Uckardesler, who claims to have invented the show's format (slogan: "mothers of eligible bachelors help their sons pick the right woman") with Perfect Bride, which has found ratings success in Turkey, Italy, across the Middle East.
"Last week, I was surprised when our clients started calling and sending emails of congratulation to us on our U.S. sales," writes a representative of Uckardesler. "I was surprised as we had neither sold rights nor entered into any negotiations. Reading the press releases from NBC and Ryan Seacrest Productions, I was shocked to discover that even their wording was identical; 'Mothers are now choosing the perfect brides for their momma’s boys.'" CONTINUED »
SEACREST, OUT As expected, Ryan Seacrest shoots down those rumors that he's replacing Larry King. But the pre-show buzz was almost enough to get you to tune in, wasn't it? [HP]
Ryan Seacrest on rumors he's taking over for Larry King: "I will be on Larry’s show Thursday night. We will talk more about it with Larry. Larry is going to be on CNN as long as Larry wants to be but I am going to be Larry’s guest Thursday night and Larry and I are going to talk about everything." [AH]
We could've sworn this reality show script had already been written, sold, and produced (MTV's Parental Control?), but Ryan Seacrest and NBC are teaming for a new gimmick: Momma's Boy, where "mothers of eligible bachelors help their sons pick the right woman." It's going to be a late summer entry, premiering after the Olympics. [Z2I] It's also going to be Seacrest's umpteenth show he works on, solidifying his "new Dick Clark" status, and those bags under his eyes.
It's unclear if The Scoop's Courtney Hazlett knows Larry King renewed his contract with CNN through 2010 or whether she just chose to overlook it in favor of the deal's loophole, which doesn't guarantee King his 9pm timeslot, but she's pushing rumors that Ryan Seacrest is planning to take over for King, supposedly, in 2009. Which, um, would be impossible? Not according to a CNN source, who claims the American Idol host is in "serious negotiations" to assume hosting duties by year's end.
Either way, the gossip mill chum isn't good news for Katie Couric, whose camp has been putting out feelers for the King slot for months.
Update: Worth noting: This isn't the first time MSNBC gossip Hazlett has run into trouble with her reporting (but when haven't us gossips?). As the Observer notes, she had to have her story about James Frey pulled from the website on Thursday because it was based on false info.
A new Emmy category, "outstanding host for a reality or reality-competition program," could pit Ryan Seacrest, Jeff Probst, and Tyra Banks against each other in a contest for making the most dramatic facial expression and repeating the most obnoxious trademarked phrase. CONTINUED »
At left, the new issue of Details: "Ryan Seacrest knows what you think of him."
At right, the January issue of The Advocate: "Lance Bass knows you talk trash about him."
It's not that we think Dan Peres copied The Advocate.
It's just there are so few things you can say about gay people to make them sound interesting.
(Click image for a larger version)
Last night it took two hours for Ryan Seacrest to get through all of the twelve contestants remaining on American Idol. Hopefully it'll take even less time to debunk the rumors that he's sleeping with Sunset Tan reality "star" Holly Huddleston.
The In Touch that's hitting newsstands today will report the Idol and E! News host is dating the E! channel personality, notwithstanding the fact that back in March 2007, In Touch's website was pleased to run a poll titled "Is Ryan Seacrest gay?" (In that week's issue, they also had "ex-girlfriend" Shanna Wall proclaim his straightness.)
Ryan also had Perez Hilton on his radio show yesterday, where the celeb blogger asked Ryan straight out if he was gay; Ryan denied it, claiming he had been with a woman for 12 hours straight recently.
How the over-employed Seacrest finds 12 hours in his day to do any single thing remains a mystery. Exposing the "I'm straight" ploy Ryan pulled last time with Teri Hatcher and the help of BFF Ken Baker (now on staff at E!) and Us Weekly, however, does not.
The exiting Us Weekly veteran is "in final negotiations with E! with Ted [Harbert, the network president] who loves him and Ryan Seacrest pushed to get him this job," says the inbox. "Ryan has made it easy for his friend to get a job there. No official announcement yet but he is already working stories for them. He's very excited about his new role thanks to the one friend he has left in Hollywood. With Ryan's help he is negotiating for a big role and the top guns at E! love Ryan and love Ken."
In a recent, sort-of revealing interview with a London tabloid, resident American Idol meanie Simon Cowell denies being a closeted homosexual, though refuses to address questions pertaining to why he wears the same black t-shirt every single day. Says Cowell:
If I was [gay] why hide it? It’s not as if the music business would be an odd place for a gay man to work. And anyway, if I was trying to hide the fact that I was gay, I would be off playing rugby every Saturday, wouldn’t I?
Either that or you'd be going tanning, getting your highlights retouched and having your eyebrows waxed and overcompensating by pretending to date Teri Hatcher.
Editorial Director
