Oh, how we do miss Santino so very much. To fill the void, we had to adopt the cast of America's Next Top Model and Top Chef for this week's round-up. The Apprentice kids still manage to say to darndest things, and, 8th & Ocean gives us the bitchy ditziness that had been snatched along with our darling Project Runway.

Intern Molly has the top 10 quotes of the week, straight from the reality stars' wagging tongues.

10. "You know, there's nothing in life that's fair. Like some people would say it's unfair that Brent is here because Brent has been a complete disaster. You understand that, Brent?"—Donald Trump, Apprentice

9. "You look like you've gone to Dolly Parton School."—Simon Cowell to Kelly Pickler, AI

8. "Jesus is my maker and he is my husband."—Brit at Model's for Christ (sic) meeting, 8th & Ocean

7. "Taylor, your appeal is that you're like every dad who has ever got drunk at a wedding."—Simon, AI

6. "Whatever I make, it's gonna be sexy. It doesn't have to be dick. It doesn't have to be balls."—Cynthia, Top Chef

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Last night was a real treat for Intern Molly, who fought a little less harder while we were tying her to a chair and ripping the remote away from her. Why? Because the premier of 8th & Ocean plus the finale of Project Runway is like our version of a Sharon Stone threeway.

Santino yelps his last cry for mommy, while we get just a tease from the latest fuckfest to hit your home screen. We know these TV personalities are totally unreal, but you're the ones that love love love to hate them! Top 5 of the week, after the jump.

10. "I think your last note booked your plane ticket home, sweetheart."— Simon Cowell to Melissa McPhee
"Nooooo" —Drunk Paula Abdul, AI

9. "Michael, you did a terrible job, I'll let you stay for one more task, and if you do poorly, you will be fired so fast your head will spin."—Donald Trump, Apprentice

8. "Brent seems like he has been in a psychiatric ward for too long and need attention."—Pepi, Apprentice

7. "There's not a lot of people I want to see in bathrooms. Well, the women perhaps, but not the men."—Donald Trump, Apprentice

6. "When I've got only just anus, everywhere, nice boo-tay, I'll call you, and you'll be like 'oh yeaaah.'"—Adrian, 8th & Ocean

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And we're back, with this week's installment of "Reality (Sound) Bites" (cheers, clapping, yay!)

This week, Donald Trump's Apprentice bombed, so we're pretty sure you didn't see it. Which is way we are incoporating his fucktarded comments into our round-up this week.

From him to Santino (who just won't quit) to newly fired Apprentice people we bring the top 10 dumbass quotes from the reality which is our television. Well, Intern Molly's television, at least. (We've already had to call her mother and apologize for exposing her child to such foul and disgusting language for the sake of learning.)

10. "As I was showing Tim my line, I was thinking: 'Why isn't he saying more? Why isn't he piddling in his panties in excitement?'" — Daniel V., Project Runway

9. "You didn't make it by much, Tarek. Summer saved your ass with her own stupidity. Tarek is totally overrated." — Donald Trump, The Apprentice

8. "Chloe's line looks like a couch is coming at you." — Santino, PR

7. "I have loved this song since I was a little kid, which as most people say, wasn't all that long ago." — Lisa Tucker, 16, American Idol

6. "Shut up, Paula, you're really annoying me now. It's like being with some precocious child." — Simon Cowell, AI

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