There's nothing worse than waking up one morning and suddenly finding out that you're dating a Shrewish American Princess, or as we like to call them, SAP's. These overly possessive, shrill-voiced creatures are precisely the sort of vaginally insecure types who bitch and moan every single time you talk to—or, God forbid, look at—another girl, never mind if it's only the pear-shaped barista at Starbucks and your entire conversation consisted of the words "Double grande no-fat latte."
And naturally, despite giving you death-glares every time you come within a 10-foot vicinity of another female and smothering you with their clinginess, they burst into tears whenever you inevitably break down and say you need a night out "with the guys." Go figure!
Anyhow, we were literally expounding about our feelings towards SAP's when we happened to come across this report about Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson, a.k.a. the most annoyingest couple in music/lip syncing history.
Editorial Director
