• "A businessman seen fleeing from a hug" in Borat is now suing Sascha Baron Cohen. The man says his civil rights were violated, then reaffirms that he's totally, 100% not kidding.

• Bonnie Fuller, Star readers, are convinced Paris Hilton got preferential treatment. Shocking!

• Also, apparently Fuller spoke at some sort of Ed2010 happy hour event Wednesday night, and refused to answer questions about Janice Min's recent "Faux Biz" attack and tried to "steer clear" of discussing the recent retouched Star cover. Who knew??

• Not only is Martin Dunn not "done" at the Daily News…he's still going around firing people at random!

• Hearst papers want names of steroid dealer's MLB clients. Meanwhile, Barry Bonds just wants his testicles back.

I saw some dark parts of America, an ugly side of America, a side of America that rarely sees the light of day. I refer, of course, to the anus and testicles of my co-star, Ken Davitian…When I was in that scene, and I stared down and saw your two wrinkled Golden Globes on my chin, I thought to myself, I’d better win a bloody award for this. And then when my 300-pound co-star decided to sit on my face and squeeze the oxygen from my lungs, I was faced with a choice. Death, or to breathe in the air that had been trapped in a small pocket between his buttocks for 30 years. Kenneth, if it was not for that rancid bubble, I would not be here today. Thank you to every American who has not sued me so far.

–Sacha Baren Cohen, accepting his Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy.

In a shameless attempt to generate buzz, SomeoneJewish.com compiled a list of the hottest celebrities most likely to welcome Elijah into their homes. Topping the men's list: David Schimmer, followed by Woody Allen and Sacha Baron Cohen. Clear evidence that while you can envy the Jews for running Hollywood and the media, that's about all they've got.

The Jewish Hot List [TMZ]