• Jared Leto and Paris Hilton go to first base. In pop culture ranking, there's no difference between being on a short-lived, critically acclaimed television show in the nineties and being an heiress with a predilection to party.

• Spy shots of Mariah Carey topless, but conveniently covering her nips with her arms. Someone's publicist has been working overtime.

• Speaking of good publicity, Scarlett Johanson visits soldiers in Kuwait. She's so much more than a pretty face and a great rack.

• LC mixes it up in the hot ATL. Pretty soon we're going to need new episodes of The Hills to keep writing about these appearances.

• New York's new tourism ad has us considering a move to Portland.

• Ambition, noun: Wanting your own reality television show. Denise Richards is the definition of ambition.

Okay, so A.O. Scott’s take on License to Wed didn’t leave much room for interpretation. ("If the beloved with whom you see License to Wed can’t stop talking about how great it was, you might want to cancel the nuptials") but with him off, Stephen Holden shows what true film criticism is about.

Two weeks ago, Claire Danes took the brunt of his wrath, with Holden saying of her performance, “At a certain point you may find yourself imagining how much better Stardust might have been with Gwyneth Paltrow in the role.”

This week, Scarlett Johansson is on the chopping block: “The Nanny Diaries is the latest in a string of films that suggest that this somnolent actress confuses sullen attitudinizing with acting.”

Scarlett, it's your career calling. You're not above the Jenna Jameson movie.

• Despite rumors and speculation, the Dick Clark who hosted New Year's Rockin' Eve was actually him, and not a photoshopped image. [TMZ]

• Now that Scarlett Johanson and Josh Hartnett are living together, their open relationshp, filled with orgys and threesomes, can continue to blossom. [Page Six]

• We don't which is more ridiculous — Tom Ford's temper tantrums, or a VF staffer calling Graydon Carter conservative. [Page Six]

• Brad Renfro hasn't been in a movie in like, 10 years, so his publicist had to think of something to get people talking. [E!]

• Canadians are so multi-talented. Avril Levigne is acting now, and she doesn't even have a famous sibling. [Egotastic]