• Wait a minute, Mariah Carey is now asking reporters to punch her in the stomach? We'd pay to see that. Hell, we'd participate. [Page Six]

• Scott Stapp was freed of charged for public intoxication while boarding a plane for his honeymoon. Stapp promises that someday we won't be hearing about him in tabloids anymore. We're keeping our fingers crossed. [People]

• Someone made Jay-Z pay for a drink? What is the world coming to? [Lowdown]

• Two men may be sentenced for up to eleven years in prison for pirating Ryan Adam's music. Adam, however, was too high to make an official statement. [MSNBC]

• Two Million people have downloaded "My Humps" as their cellphone ringer. We are absolutely thrilled that this song is actually following us everywhere we go, and that it's not only in our heads. [DMN]

• Luther Vandross may have been gay, but he sure got a lot of men into a lot of women's pants in his day. [R&M]

• Nothing says "crack baby" like a Whitney Houston pregnancy rumor. [Scoop]

• Graydon Carter might put Paris Hilton the cover of Vanity Fair, but that doesn't mean her parents are welcome at his Oscar party. [Page Six]

• When Lindsay Lohan, the Olsens, and Paris Hilton get together for Amy Sacco, you'd expect such tension to be accompanied by a Nicole Richie arrival. [R&M]

• Rapper Shyne is changing his name to something Jewish and will take out a New York Post ad to announce it. Page Six, naturally, must cover it. [Page Six]

• Kid Rock blames Scott Stapp for losing their sex tape. And then thanks him for the PR, given his upcoming album. [AP]

• Dennis Rodman parties with the gays at Splash. Gays, everywhere, yawn. [Page Six]

• NBC White House correspondente David Gregory wasn't drunk yesterday when he phoned in to Don Imus' show. He had the giggles. [R&M]

• What's a Spin magazine celebration if there isn't a simultaneous Spin snub? [Page Six]

• Listen, MySpace Tom. You don't have so many friends because people like you. So just stop trying to push your crappy MySpace CD. [Digital Music News]

• Some blogs are offering entire albums for download, and the Village Voice is not amused. Don't you guys have better things to research? Uh, like your articles, maybe? [VV]

• Atlanta rapper T.I. is starring in a movie of his own coming of age story. Now, we're just guessing here, but any chance it might involve surmounting some impossible adversity and ending up massively famous? [MTV]

• Scott Stapp feels that "someone" is out to get him over this sex tape video. However, he does not immediately blame this "god" he used to spend so much time singing about. Or himself, of course. [E!]

• Destiny’s orphaned children are really survivors. They’re not gonna’ give up. Wait, what are their names again? [People]

• Dr. Phil finds the already taken Paula Abdul a boyfriend. So unfair, she gets two guys, and Lisa Loeb can’t find even one. [Scoop]

• After having a few years that would lead anyone to the ice cream tub, Janet Jackson has been "ordered" to drop before her album does. [Page Six]

• Scott Stapp's life sucks as much as Creed's music. One week, he’s getting married and declaring his sobriety and the next he gets arrested in LAX for trying to board a plane totally blitzed. [TMZ]

• Maybe Jusin Timberlake's fake tattoo of the Chinese symbol for "ice skating" wasn't really a mistake. Seriously, everyone loves Michelle Kwan like crazy, not just us. [The Scoop]

• Lenny Kravitz's newest corporate whoring, er, awesome single, is about Absolut Vodka, and was inspired by his 14 year old daughter. [AbsolutKravitz]

• Despite Kanye West's warning to "not let him get up on the Grammy stage, and to not not let him get up on that stage", he will perform at the awards. When Kanye talks, people listen. Even if they don’t understand him. [VH1]

• Isaac Hayes has been hospitalized for exhaustion. We really hope he can reach out to Lindsay Lohan, Mary-Kate Olsen, and Nicole Richie for support. [People]

• Taking “eat me” to another level, former boy-bander Justin Timberlake is bringing his restaurant investment skills all to the UES. Here's to hoping the fare fares slightly better than NyLa. If not, he should just go Jay-Z style and open a club. [MTV]

• Drugs, alcoholism, and egos — just another day in the God fearing life of America's most successful Christian rocker, Scott Stapp. [Rolling Stone]

• Simon Cowell is producing a new reality show, where celebs learn to sing. We pray it's more Reese Witherspoon a'la Walk the Line than Bai Ling on VH1. [Billboard]

• Jermaine Dupri wants to publish a memoir about his life in the music industry, including his relationship with Janet Jackson. The book, titled Young, Rich, and Dangerous will most likely be boring, self-indulgent, and arrogant. [Page Six]

• The Black Eyed Peas continue their sell-out by headlining the Honda Civic Tour. We guess their other corporate affiliates (Apple, Dr. Pepper … the NBA) won't mind. [MTV]

• Creed's Scott Stapp is engaged to Miss New York 2004. Everyone else still considers him a total freakin loser. [CNN]

• Hey all you RENT fans — get your super secret bootleg recordings of rough drafts of songs from the musical here [The Modern Age]

• Sheryl Crow says that she doesn't need fertility drugs • she's going to exercise herself preggers. (Doesn't Lance Armstrong have like one ball or something anyway?) [People]