Mark Ronson, retelling an innocent childhood anecdote on Britain's The Sunday Night Project:

It's a weird story, but I didn't touch him. We (Ronson and Lennon) used to watch the porn channel because we were, like, 10 and, 'Oh my God, [boobs]!' So Michael was in bed. And me and Sean said, 'Michael, do you want to see something cool?' We turned the dial to the porn channel and there were strippers shaking their [boobs] around. We were like, 'Michael, Michael, how cool is this?' We turned around and he was cringing, saying, 'Ooh, stop it, stop it, ooh, it's so silly.' We were like, 'Michael, you have to look, maybe you're not seeing it right, it's naked girls!' He was not down with the program whatsoever! I think he had really strong feminist views on porn. [Popwrap]

The good news? The flick was of the adult — as in, not child – variety.

Now, first and foremost, we have to be honest: we're not exactly Sean Lennon's biggest fans.

We don't love his music, we're slightly creeped out by his puffy, bloated John Lennon appearance, and we can't understand how anyone requiring his hypothetical dream-date to "have an IQ above 130…[and] not have any clinical, psychological disorders" was ever romantically linked with Lindsay Lohan.

Plus, we're not completely buying that whole self-perpetuated "Sean Lennon is extremely well-endowed" rumor.

But anyhow, we're willing to put all of that aside right now and simply appreciate this Sean Lennon anecdote for exactly what it is: an amazing moment between a Beatles progeny and a New York City cab driver who thought he'd seen it all.

"When I was 15, a cabdriver asked me if I was Paul McCartney's daughter," the 31-year-old singer told AP Radio in a recent interview. "That really blew my mind."

Let it be, Sean. Let it be.

• In order to be a Whitney Houston fan, you must forget her crackhead moments. [Page Six]

• Unlike his brother Julian, Sean Lennon doesn't need to sell out to be famous. He was the loved child. [TONY]

• If there is a voice which can cure diseases, it has to be … David Lee Roth's? Ah, well, at least they didn't choose Ryan Adams. [Y!]

• Sorry kids. The Boy George in a jumpsuit cleaning up trash days are over. [NME]

• Clay Aiken, George Bush, and a Committee for the Disabled. Yeah, we’re just going to leave it at that. We’ve got enough bad karma as it is. [NYDN]

• Jon Bon Jovi, should be thanking Diane Lane for helping make his career … instead of making things really awkward. [Page Six]

• Despite our authoritative demeanor, we're not actually experts on the music industry. Or on anything. But we do think it’s a terrible idea for MTV to alienate all their female viewers. [NYDN]

• We know Sean Lennon’s looking for a way back into the public eye. But is teaming up with Princess Leia the best way to up your profile? [AOL]

• Who let The Pussycat Dolls into Malyasia in the first place? [Y!]

• Is there a better duo name than Diddy and The Kwat? We didn't think so. [Page Six]

• Guess what Paris Hilton thinks of her new album? We'd tell you, but the phrase makes us want to pull out all our hair and run screaming down the street. [Scoop]

• Oh, and PETA threw a bunch of flour on her, too. [BBC]

• Sean Lennon spends the night with his make-up artist, "out of necessity." That necessity being "he needed to get laid." [Page Six]

• Nobody wants to live in any space previously occupied by Kimora Lee Simmons. [NYO]

• People are fighting over the rights to the stupidest joke ever? Dare we say we think Lloyd Grove's punchlines are funnier that that damn Outback commercial? [Lowdown]

We thought they were kidding — Lindsay Lohan was hanging out with Sean Lennon at Bungalow? Gosh, we really are thrilled that La Lo is feeling better. She's been out of the hospital for a full week now, right? It's totally time to get back on the scene with Kate Moss types.

A mention of "Dina Lohan's new boyfriend," as if anyone cares who that bag is dating, begs the question: where these two are finding their dates?

In the case of Sean Lennon offering his lap to Linds, we can only guess that the mother daughter duo are answerig the dating ads in the New York Post? How one goes from Kate to Sean, however, is completely inexplicable.

Rapid Rebound [Richard Johnson, Page Six]

• Just like Jennifer Lopez, Tori Spelling really wants to be married. [People]

• He may not be sexy, but he's definitely a geek. Sean Lennon absolutely needs to get laid before 2006, ladies. Hey, he's John Lennon's kid — that should count for something. We think he should find a nice gal who doesn't read the Post on J-Date. [Page Six]

• Sienna Miller keeps her cards close, and her PR reps closer. [AP News]

• What do have to hold us over until Angelina Jolie's bump is officially three month old? Naked photos of Brad Pitt! Well, rumors of them, anyway. [National Ledger]

• Mira Sorvino plays a cop in her next role: acting deputy sheriff of Lackawanna County, Pa. [Rush&Molloy]