• Michael Jackson looking almost…presentable.

• Rumor has it there were massive layoffs at Seventeen magazine's production department. Unfortunately, staffers were too busy discussing last night's Gossip Girl to confirm/deny.

• Tired of living in a bubble where Out, The Advocate and HX don't exist, Neal Boulton takes it upon himself to create the first-ever magazine written exclusively for gays.

• It's all relative, but at least magazines are doing all right. Well, sort of.

• Fact: More than three times as many black people live in jail than in college dorms. Also a fact: the aforementioned "fact" doesn't take into account college students who live off campus. Or commute to school. Or, well, anything.

• Vanessa Hudgens makes her first post-scandal appearance; everyone tries their best not to blatantly stare at her crotch.

• You've tried the search, now try the smell. Introducing Google: For men.

Hearst chief Cathie Black has seen the numbers. "What numbers?," your innocent soul asks. The ad page numbers for the first half of the year, including those of Seventeen. It's not that Cathie isn't aware of how her magazines are faring at any single timestamp. But when it's put out there for all to see, as it is in today's Women's Wear Daily – that under Ann Shoket's editorial direction, Seventeen's ad pages fell 9.5 percent, while Teen Vogue climbed 1.5 percent – it's hard not to get a little pissed at your hand-picked Atoosa replacement. Especially when a magazine like Real Simple (looked upon with disdain by any book that has any attachment to fashion) leverages its television partnerships for a nearly 20 percent page gain, while Seventeen's relationship with America's Next Top Model has proven as useful as Tyra's repetitive script.

• Fun and confident. That's what Ann Shoket's new Seventeen is all about.

• Star Jones back on daytime. Here's hoping her Court TV gabfest has Star sparring with The View's timeslot.

• Ann Coulter put quote marks around "faggot." And so she gets a pass.

• "Honestly confident." That's how new NBC Nightly News exec producer Alexandra Wallace feels about landing back in first place by April. How will she get there? A little thing we like to call … a prayer.

• The Office star Rashida Jones is half-Jewish. Also, half-black. Doubly disadvantaged?

• Josh Duhamel, ass inspector. But he'll probably tell you he was just touching Fergie's swimsuit because he misses his own.

• Rosie O'Donnell lets it all hang. Upside down. To fight SAD.

CONTINUED »

Beginning today, Verizon Wireless customers can access content from Seventeen magazine on their Verizon Wireless phones. With Seventeen Mobile, Verizon Wireless customers can get the latest information on health, fashion and beauty reports, horoscopes, daily tips and daily "traumas" – one of Seventeen's branded and most well-read sections – right in the palms of their hands on any Mobile Web 2.0SM-capable phone.

Or, in other words, ex-EIC Atoosa Rubenstein could've had Hearst paying for all her digital adventures. Though, likely, Cathie Black would've put the kabosh on Psychic Kitty. But it would make a groovy wallpaper.

Full release after the jump.

CONTINUED »

We hear the inevitable happened today: Charlene Fabbiano, assistant to ex-Seventeen editor Atoosa Rubenstein, has been let go. New EIC Ann Shoket, after all, can't trust the help from the former reigning queen to do her bidding, now can she?

There's also unconfirmed murmurs of accessories editor Loredana Buonopane having also left, though this one went voluntarily.

With all the recent celebrity divorces and splits these days, we almost feel as though we're the product of a broken home. Fortunately, however, we're happy to report that at least one marriage is still blissfully intact.

Thankfully, Seventeen Magazine will continue to shamelessly plug itself on the next season cycle of America's Next Top Model despite shifting the reins to a new EIC after the Toos' big departure:

Though new editor in chief Ann Shoket did not become America's next top teen magazine editor in time for shooting, a spokeswoman for Seventeen said Carissa Rosenberg, Seventeen's entertainment director, would appear in her place for the coming cycle of the popular show.

Thank goodness! Because when we watch the girls plaster giant, fake smiles all over their faces week after week, and feign surprise whenever the exact same prizes—that, invariably, never lead to the winner's becoming America's next "top" model—are announced, we'd really hate for Seventeen not to be a big, fat** part of it.

**no offense, Tyra

Atoosa Rubenstein may have left the 17th floor of Hearst Tower, but she's still going neck and neck with her former magazine. As the 'Toos tries to launch her own new media-slash-consultantcy outfit, Seventeen's new editor Ann Shoket is letting the millions of tweens reading the mag that there's a new Big Momma in town. And where else to deliver the news but MySpace?

While Atoosa uses her latest MySpace blog post to suggest her gals go see Hilary Swank's Freedom Writers – also known as the movie for which the studio will stoop to all levels of publicity mongering – Ann is finding her sixth-grade words to describe her levels of jubilation:

Hi! I'm Ann! This is just a super-quick note to tell you that I'm so excited about starting this amazing new job! I know it sounds cliché, but being an editor of a magazine is literally a dream come true–when I was 16 years old I would spend hours and hours and hours reading magazines and trying to imagine what it would be like to be one of the women that put those brilliant words and beautiful pictures on the page.

Ann's full blog post to her future minions after the jump, but be forewarned: it's filled with (empty?) promises and encouragement to get to know each other better. In the meantime, we'll leave you with a few choice comments from Ann's post:

• "What happened to Atoosa? She was my chica."
• "what happened to atoosa?"
• "ohhh, Great. what happened to Atoosa? She was only the best."

And, by far our favorite, comes from "cap'n claire":

• "what?! what the fuck happened to atoosa?????? what is wrong with you people?!

CONTINUED »

• Googling the new Atoosa is fun!

• An exhausted Britney Spears confuses rehabilitation center with relaxation spa.

• Diddy to form new boy band, striving for "Dick in a Box meets Yanni" look.

• Time Warner sells Progressive Farmer to a publisher who could tell you what it's about.

• CNN says sorry for the control room lackey who called Sen. Obama by his given name.

• Just like in the lockerroom, video cell phones at executions are frowned upon.

CONTINUED »

It's official: We hear Ann Shoket has been named editor of Seventeen, replacing Atoosa Rubenstein, who left in November. Ann splits from CosmoGIRL as its executive editor.

Update: Here's the note from Hearst chieftess Cathie Black.

Dear Colleague:

I am delighted to announce that Ann Shoket, currently the executive editor of CosmoGIRL!, has just been named editor-in- chief of Seventeen. Ann will assume her new responsibilities immediately. After spending seven years at CosmoGIRL!, no one knows the teen market better than Ann. Her enthusiasm for this audience and her commitment to helping young girls as they move through their teenage years is a great asset that she brings to Seventeen. Please join me in congratulating Ann and wishing her much success at Seventeen. The formal release is below for your reference.

Sincerely,
Cathie Black,
President, Hearst Magazines

Full release after the jump.

CONTINUED »

• Even if Google brings new ad revenue to newspapers, it'll come at the cost of losing direct relationships and paying a fee of broadsheets' already pitiful sums. Score!

• Conde Nast bets on teen girls to save its Internet ass.

• MySpace hopes the creative types will save its print ass.

• Amy Goldwasser ruins chances of snagging Seventeen top job.

• HuffPo resident attorney type Melissa Lafsky gets all legalese on Judith Regan.

• Tyra Banks scores another two years of talking about her cellulite.

• As soon as Bono showed up at Forbes, everyone's pensions went in the shitter.

CONTINUED »

• News Corp. gets in to bed with Conde Nast. In Australia.

• Daily Show and Colbert Report exec producer Ben Karlin steps down (resigns?) after seven years with Jon Stewart. His legacy? Ruining Jon Stewart's set.

• Hearst doesn't know who to give the Seventeen job, but they're hopeful!

• On the Internet, nobody knows you've got a paper product.

• Treehugger.com is so in demand, every glossy home magazine editor wants 'em.

• Those closed-door discussions about MSNBC's The Most? Perhaps just a time slot switch.

• Viacom's new chief Philippe Dauman knows how to run a company: keep a beautiful woman by his side.

• Jack Shafer says the newspaper industries woes began 30 years ago — before there even was an Internet to blame.

When Atoosa Rubenstein steps out of 300 West 57th this afternoon, it'll be her last exit from Hearst's tower as the editor-in-chief of Seventeen. No more town car. No more expensed lunches at Michael's. No more meetings with Cathie Black.

Today is Big Momma's last day atop the masthead, so we popped on over to the glass tower to eavesdrop at her staffer goodbye luncheon at Hearst's cafeteria (the quietest we've seen it since we dined there the first week it opened). The 'Toos donned what many would call a funeral ensemble colliding with a smattering of S&M: all black with straps-a-plenty. The mood was calm, somber, reflective. A mix of air kiss goodbyes with authentic farewells. Staffers, meanwhile, head into their Thanksgiving holiday without any idea who will be taking the reigns as their leader heads off into the world of "multimedia."

Goodbye, Atoosa. We'll be seeing you … on MySpace.

It was only a matter of time before Seventeen's Atoosa Rubenstein got the SNL treatment. So here she is (ahead of the just-as-likely Anna Wintour spoof, if we're not mistaken), courtesy of Maya "Appropriate For All Races" Rudolph, MySpace, and a tube of lip gloss. This one goes out to our homegirl, Cathie Black.

• Some celebrity charity projects have merit. Stripes on a face? Not so much.

• Ground breaks on CitiField, otherwise known as Shea's demise.

• Ellen Pompeo agrees to marry music producer boyfriend who is only one year older, though looks twenty.

• The Upper East Side is now the new Gramercy: Post-college kids who need space on the cheap.

• Sniff, but don't lick, those ads in People.

• Survivor contestant also Playboy TV hardcore reality series player (NSFW).

• Former Miss Seventeen contestant and Seventeen intern Brianne Burrows pops up from the woodwork to dish on Atoosa Rubenstein's departure. Everyone loves a MySpace spat.

• Voted "most likely accurate" of all of Simon Dumenco's predictions: Greg Gutfeld's crack den.

• Effective Friday, shelter title Dwell named Sam Grawe editor-in-chief, who began at the magazine in 2000 as an editorial assistant. J-school grads, there's hope for you yet.

Exclusive

After three years at the helm of Hearst's teen (tween?) title and 13 years spent inside Hearst's hallways, we're told Atoosa Rubenstein is leaving the House of Seventeen. Yep, the Today show fixture, the MySpace maven, the Big Momma (we'll stop now) is walking out the door. We hear that she's staying on through the end of the year, but already put Hearst chief Cathie Black on notice that she's done editing the title.

Which leaves so many questions: Where is she headed? What will happen to the CosmoGIRL staffers that came with her? Will the lip gloss recommendations change?

Not entirely sure, who knows, and god, we hope not! From what we understand, Atoosa is branching out of the staid world of print and embarking on something multimedia, though that's the same excuse Lloyd Grove gave while TMZ.com was turning him down. (And, just like Lloyd appears to own LloydGrove.com, Atoosa looks to be in control of Atoosa.com. AtoosaRubenstein.com, meanwhile, remains in Hearst's hands.)

Atoosa's contract expired in August, we're told, and she's been a free agent ever since. And that hasn't sat well with Cathie Black, whose Hearst house has been left in disarray ever since the 'Toos announced her impending exit — and refused Black's pleas to stay.

Thus far, Black hasn't yet found a successor to Rubenstein, though one insider's instinct suggests Jane's Brandon Holley (if only so Hearst can say they traded one EIC for another), or perhaps Seventeen's own Gina Kelly, the fashion director whose career began at the magazine.

And while Atoosa and Cathie are said to be parting ways on good terms, one insider wanted to make sure we didn't over look last month's spat of nasty Page Six items aimed at the 'Toos. Plants from the Hearst queen's executive suite?

On a related note, we're told Seventeen.com editor Sara Lieberman (a Gear refugee) split – on good terms – for the New York Post last week. And those rumors going around about Marie Claire editor Joanna Coles being the Hearstie making the surprise exit? False, we're told.

Meanwhile, one insider told us Atoosa had already told several of her staff members in recent weeks that she'd be leaving at the end of this month; that theory has been shot down by multiple tattlers — and, if it's true Atoosa hasn't told her underlings, the entire Seventeen team will be waking up to this news of their leader's departure. Now make like a MSNBC staffer and start printing those resumes.

For all the attention Paris Hilton's anti-drinking and driving PSA in Seventeen magazine is receiving, it's worth noting: It almost didn't happen. Paris – who made light of her September DUI incident – is appearing on the December issue of Atoosa Rubenstein's book and is also featured inside in a PSA ad (click image for larger version in pop-up window), which reads, "All it takes is one drink to mess with the way you drive – it clouds your judgment and slows your reflexes. Don’t take any chances. It just isn’t worth it." The magazine also plugs a video PSA from Paris, supposedly available on Seventeen.com. Except you won't find it there now, when the issue hits on Nov. 7, or at any point thereafter.

We hear Hilton's power attorney Howard Weitzman forced Paris to back out of recording the clip. With her court appearance on the horizon (she faces misdemeanor DUI charges), a source tells us, Weitzman didn't want any chance of a judge or the prosecutor thinking Hilton was using the incident for publicity instead of being genuinely sorry. So while the PSA plugs the website (it went to press before Weitzman's decision) there is no Hilton clip on Seventeen.com — but the one where she responds to being called an "oversized human condom?" Yeah, that's still on TMZ.

We learned our lesson about not breathing an editor's name aloud in the presence of gossips long ago. Brianne Burrows, however, seems to have taken to dragging her own name, along with her editor in chief's through the gossips. After taking second in the Miss Seventeen pageant, Burrows was not offered a job at the teen mag, but an internship opportunity to work under Atoosa Rubenstein. An opportunity that most people wouldn't turn down. But maybe Burrows should have.

After a mere three months of interning, Burrows found that her life was too "emotionally taxing." She says her editor blamed her for leaking stories to the press (really?) and was a victim of slander. And wants to sue Atoosa. Oh the poor, clueless sapling.

Atoosa blamed me for leaking the story about staff departures to gossip columns. She called me to tell me my career in magazines was over and that I'll never work in this industry again.

I am a 21-year-old college student who was interning for her. I am currently meeting with a lawyer and am preparing to sue her for slander."

She should just move back to her hometown in Montana now, because she is obviously not cut out for this biz. Atoosa yelled at her and told her, her shoes were ugly? Big freakin' whoop! You say "thank you Miss Atoosa Goddess of life and everything in it" and you shut the hell up. You don't sue the editor of a magazine for making you cry.

Otherwise Jann Wenner would have to be in court like 329 days out of the year.

REALITY'S TAXING FOR EX-INTERN [Page Six]

We know you're just dying to know the real reason for Atoosa Rubenstein's BFF and top fashion director Beau Quillian's resignation. Jossip hears from a well-placed source that the departure is related to the mag's decision to start working with a new, larger pool of freelancers. These folks are being commissioned to "update Seventeen's look and feel." Which likely means less room for the creative freedom of a top staffer. And while there's a chance BQ will continue to contribute to the mag, they'll have to pull it out of him without offering the perk of health benefits.

Also, as many of you industry folks know (because everyone under the sun applied for the job) Seventeen has been scouring the Earth for a new deputy editor. Atoosa finally plucked the plucky Melissa Daly from Fitness mag to join her at Seventeen.

Rumor has it that Daly, a former Seventeen queen, quit the teen pub mere days after the 'Toos was named head honcho. Somehow, however, Big Momma was able to lure her back. Maybe it was with the promise of a shoebox full of secret Jeff Bercovici photos?

Earlier: Seventeen Staffers are Abandoning Atoosa Rubenstein

What's going on over at Seventeen magazine? First comes the news that Atoosa Rubenstein's tight staffer, fashion director Beau Quillian, has left the 'Toos' side. He hasn't lined up a new position yet, which makes us think this was a pretty hasty move … but the orchid of an EIC isn't giving anything away.

“We’re looking forward to figuring out who is the best fit for us full time,” she said. “Beau is my dear friend and was a critical part of creating the ‘new’ Seventeen. I’m looking forward to continuing our working relationship in its new incarnation.”

Meanwhile, we also hear that the mag's executive editor Leslie Heilbrunn – an import from CosmoGIRL, a la Atoosa – also left, to pursue her dreams of becoming a chef. Her replacement: Jillian MacKenzie from Allure. The reason for all the moving around? Hello, September is "promotions month," claims a Seventeen insider. Looks like it might also be, "take your former staffers off your Top 8" month as well.

Seventeen Minus One [Fashion Week Daily]
Earlier: Packing & Partying With Atoosa Rubenstein

The whole world has gone Internet crazy. And, by 'the whole world' we, of course, mean Conde Nast and Hearst.

Along with Vanity Fair and the New Yorker, who have hired bloggers to beef up their web content (just James Wolcott isn't cutting it any longer), Hearst mags are getting inventive with their approach to web content.

And Hearst, which formed a new digital media unit in March, has been pouring resources into the Web lately, placing particular emphasis on its teen titles. (On a related note, Rubenstein recently said her editor’s letters would henceforth appear only on her MySpace Web page, and not in Seventeen.)

God love ya, Toos. Though, we're not quite sure sending more web traffic Murdoch's way is exactly what Hearst had in mind when they said they wanted to increase their participation on the web.

Mystery Girl … Crossing Online … [Jeff Bercovici, Sara James, WWD]
Atoosa's Myspace Profile [MySpace]