We're gonna go out on a limb and suggest that Angelina Jolie did not agree to have her likeness used in this ad for the Xiomara Coronado Beauty Center, under the tagline, "Nobody is younger than you." Lucky for the client, then, that the spot is circulating in Ecuador, where Angelina might have a harder time enforcing her intellectual property rights.

And the same goes for Paris. And Shakira.

But one thing the ad gets wrong, however, is that these women aren't going to "settle" into their wrinkles and let age creep over them. They're going to Botox their way back to youth.

We've always loved Madonna. From the controversial "black Jesus" video to the fledgling movie career to the middle aged love affair with her obviously gay trainer yoga, Madge has always been chock full of surprises.

Like the time she managed to dance up a storm with Shakira and Demi Moore and ignore Janet Jackson while simultaneously heading home before midnight with Jackson in tow.

CONTINUED »

• Shakira's not a bitch — she just ignores fans so she can protect her voice. Duh. [TMZ]

• Ashlee Simpson takes the lead in Chicago. The entire theater community sighs/cries/resigns to a dignified life of waiting tables. [Mollygood]

• If you want to listen to Scissors Sisters, you're going to have pay a ton of cash. And that's only if you can find it. And record stores don't understand how they can't compete with iTunes. [VH1]

• So, what you're telling us is that there are actually more songs other than "Popozao?" Why? [Scoop]

• Tenacious D tries to prove they are a real band with real problems. And we only believe them because Jack Black seems like a really difficult person. [Billboard]

• 50 Cent gets arrested "for being an asshole" in some proximity of Radar's NYC office. Staffers proceed to turn into celeb hunting paparazzi before our eyes. [Radar]

• Shakira wanted to be a serious musician, but then no one took her seriously. So then she took to being a singing stripper. [NYDN]

• The Scissor Sisters versus the guy from Pink Floyd? That's a catfight we'd buy front row tickets for. [NME]

• It seems the only people who don’t find James Blunt annoying are the soccer moms who buy his album while their kids are in school. [Yahoo]

• Bob Dylan is getting a little senile. That, or the acid finally started melting parts of his brain off. [MSNBC]

• Thanks a lot Kelly Clarkson. Now we have to see an entire VMA show with no Gwen Stefani. And what's the point of that? [Page Six]

• We think about Michael Bloomberg singing Shakira’s “My Hips Don’t Lie,” and the child inside of us dies. Thankfully. It's better to die than experience that. [NYDN]

• DMX finally returns, bringing along with him, the worst album title since William Hung’s “Hung for the Holidays” [Houston Press]

• You know Eminem is really bad when it causes a girl to write about him in her MySpace blog. [TMZ]

• We wonder what act of sexual deviance Vanessa Minnillo allowed Nick Lachey to perform to get him to forget about his ex-wife in just a week. [Page Six]

• Surprisingly, the Stock Market does not wait for Diddy. Apparently Diddy would likely "be late for his own funeral." Who doesn't show up fashionably late for their own publicity stunt? [Page Six]

• Russell Simmons and Kimora Lee are not necessarily breaking up for good. They can stay together as long as she continues to let him sleep with younger models. [Lowdown]

• Here are Rolling Stone's 10 bands to watch in 2006. But to be honest, if you haven't already heard of these bands, the indie kids are never going to be impressed. [Rolling Stone]

• Shakira is modest. Really, she is. Sure, she's never worn a shirt that skank out her body and show her stomach, but that's really not her fault. [The Scoop]

• We're just impressed that the stoners got their shit together enough to organize stealing Jerry Garcia's toilet in the first place. [USAT]

• Hey Howard Stern. Just because a homeless dude spit in your face does not make you special. This is New York, just spit right back. [TMZ]

This little diddy just arrived in our inbox and, since it's Friday, we're free to relay Shakira sightings in a manner in which we pretend you'll care enough to read them and tell your friends.

Last night (Feb 2) I was at the show of my favorite NYC/Australian rock band, THE KIN, and spotted SHAKIRA rocking out to the music! According to a staff member, she had bought 60 tickets for friends and was celebrating her birthday on the upstairs level of the Bowery Ballroom! She looked great and was dancing around as she poured champagne for her guests!

Initially we were confident this item didn't come from a publicity-seeking flack. The tell tale sign, after all, was the absence of the brand of the champagne. Veuve Clicquot? Moet? Korbel?

But then the email closed with this:

I would love to see a a little mention on your page of her at THE KIN show!

Sure sounds like an Aussie flack to us — and one who's really got to brush up on the proper way to manipulate blogs*.

* Or maybe this tipster does know how to manipulate us? We did, after all, run this item.

The Kin [Official Site]