Is this a first? VH1 is spinning off two shows, into one: Rock of Love Girls: Charm School mixes Flava of Love's Charm School, hosted by Mo'nique, with Rock of Love, Bret Michaels' search for love and a pop culture relevancy. Sharon Osbourne will host the $100,000 competition. Because she is classy. [NYDN]

At last night's Brit Awards, host Sharon Osbourne swore, and the Arctic Monkeys were so drunk they had to be cut off during their obscenity-laced acceptance speech. We're not sure what criteria these awards are given out for, but it's clear why they're televised. [Daily Mail, Mollygood]

Not surprising: Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne are more excited about seeing "The Queen" then they are about seeing the President.

Sort-of surprising: "The Queen" is actually a clever euphemism for Elton John.

[NYDN]

• Inappropriately aroused? Just try imagining Mary-Kate Olsen naked. Wearing nothing but jewelry. On a cold day.

• Madonna purchases a dick-in-a-box while her neutered husband looks on sheepishly.

• We're sorry, Maria Menounos, did our pin get in the way of your ass? Do us a favor and lose five pounds IMMEDIATELY or get out of our building, like now! Get out!

• Hills hanger-on Audrina Patridge defends her asshat of a boyfriend Justin Bobby, explaining he "had a hard time" with kissing her on camera. Fortunately, he had less of a hard time ditching her completely, leaving her stranded at Brody Jenner's party and taking off with some other chick straddling his Harley.

• The Daily Mail has trouble discerning whether a tear-stricken Sharon Osbourne is crying over her talentless daughter or her pneumonia-stricken pooch.

CONTINUED »

• It's hard to determine who was the overall Worst Dressed at this year's Video Music Awards, however Beyonce certainly gets an honorable mention for channeling Liberace's Curtains.

• Meanwhile, for anyone who missed the opportunity to see an overweight and hopelessly out of shape Britney Spears jiggle her thighs very, very slowly in tune to her latest pop abortion, this photo montage pretty much captures the scene.

• Sharon Osbourne, on Madonna: "She annoys me. I've met her a few times and found her very cold and very rude. She's annoyed me for years though, way before all the buying a baby thing."

• After a year of shitshow benders, face-scratching and self-mutilation, Amy Winehouse is finally ready to procreate.

• A happily unmarried Angelina Jolie learns why falling in love is so hard on the knees.

• Oprah Winfrey raises $3 million for Barack Obama's presidential campaign by partying like it's Obama/Hillary '08.