Shiloh Survives Two Years Without Being Abducted By A ‘Life & Style’ Staffer CONTINUED »

People magazine is reportedly ready to spend $4 to $6 million for the first shots of Jennifer Lopez’s twins. That would make each baby worth about $2 to $3 million, less than Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, who went for four, but likely more than baby Max, Christina Aguilera’s son who sold for an estimated $1.5 or 2 mil.

On one hand, these babies are getting an early introduction into what their lives as celeb-spawn will be like. On the other hand, this industry is totally bizarre and twisted. And ultimately babies are too young for judgment, so what's the point?

• Paris Hilton was awarded "Woman of the Year" by the Harvard Lampoon. In her speech, she said, "Harvard is so hot!" And smart. The "Woman of the Year" award has never garnered as much publicity.

• There's a rumor that Shiloh Jolie-Pitt was the target of a kidnapping heist. We could make a joke about why the other kids weren't targeted, but kidnapping isn't a laughing matter.

• A Swedish group is auctioning off a swim suit Nicole Kidman accidentally left at a local pool to raise money to buy cows for families in India. This is all well-intentioned, but it seems like Kidman is being forced against her will to do charity.

• "Rachel Bilson Is Super Cute In Rome!" Do you ever stop and wonder why you read gossip blogs? She does look cute, though.

• Celebrity lips are the stuff of nightmares.

• Lourdes Ciccone Leon is all grown up. We remember when she was just an accessory in a Vanity Fair photo spread.

If you thought Paris Hilton was famous for no reason, than you should consider the Sean Preston. Really, what has that kid done with himself to garner all those Life & Style covers?

Clearly, the judging of celebrities has not gone far enough. If L. Lo cared about the press, she wouldn’t be hooking up with three guys in one day. But what about the kids of famous people? Has the press done enough to ensure their future insecurities?

In the past, celebrity kids didn't get hounded because magazines respected their privacy and avoided exposure that could compromise a family's security, and there weren't nearly as many tabloids desperate for fodder.

But it's not just those weeklies that report like gossipy aunties on kids and pit them against each other in survival of the cutest contests. On the Web, coverage of celebrity kids has also hit a fever pitch, and the atmosphere is more vicious than a schoolyard brawl. Babies are branded "ugly losers," and awkward teens get called out as "homely hippos."

Look, if Shioh Pitt didn’t want to be famous, she shouldn’t have attached herself to Angelina’s uterus.

"Have you seen baby Shiloh?" wonders a concerned citizen/stalker over at Life & Style. "Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's adorable daughter was last spotted on Oct. 7, when Brad lifted her into the air at the Waldorf-Astoria hotel in New York City." (Strange! We were always told that what goes up, must eventually come down!)

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The big news in paparazzi land today is the outing of Brent Stirton, the "photojournalist" from Getty Images who was the "secret shooter" of baby Shiloh Pitt-Jolie. At the time of the photos, Getty and Stirton, as well as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, were keeping the name of the photog under wraps. That was until PopPhoto.com (the website of American Photo) reported that he was the guy who snapped the pics, and Getty Images spokesperson Molly Lohman confirmed the story.

Until Wednesday, Getty Images had gone to great lengths to keep the identity of the photographer a secret, saying it was doing so at the request of the Pitt-Jolie family. Magazine editors who knew details about the shoot were also sworn to secrecy.

Sworn to secrecy. Uh-huh … and we ask why, exactly? Did anyone really care? Of course not. Nobody cares about this kind of stuff unless it's secret for a really long time and then "breaks." And even then … we're at the end of this post and we can't even remember the dude's name.

Getty: Brent Stirton Was Baby Shiloh Photographer [PDN Online]

• Aha. So this is why Jim Romenesko doesn't live in New York. [Gawker]

• This story on Anna Nicole Smith is not exactly about what the headline suggests it is. [AP]

• The same goes for this New York Times tea bagging story. [NYT]

• Christie Brinkley finally cuts that Peter Cook douchebag out of her life. Dina Lohan's Bungalow prospects just dropped by 5. [Star]

• Shiloh Jolie-Pitt gets papped for the first time. Hey, she had to pop her cherry at some point. [Mollygood]

We hate to call babies 'hos, but sometimes it just has to be done. Especially when that baby has a set of parents that pimps her out so hard for the sake of their own career that she gets commercialized for the covers of tabloids and tabloids disguised as important magazines before she can even talk. Let alone sign a contract.

You all voted (and in what droves! Thanks!) and the result is as we expected. Suri Cruise gets pimped harder than Shiloh Jolie-Pitt for the mag cover fame.

It's probably since Suri took up a whopping 22 pages, but didn't accept any huge chunk of charity change or save any children, that it feels a little more like a publicity stunt on the part of her parents. Which, we guess, is ultimately the only reason she was "conceived" in the first place.

Earlier: Suri Cruise V. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt: Who Was Pimped Harder?

Sure, everyone is totally excited over the first photos of Suri Cruise. We're personally so excited that we came down with the flu! Then again, we get the distinct feeling we've been here before. Ah, yes. Shilioh Jolie-Pitt. It's hard to get more excited about a baby than we were about her, the messiah of celeb children.

But when it comes to down to it, both these sets of celeb parents put their kids on mag covers. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie chose the glossy route and allowed People to slap her mug across its pages (for a heavy chunk of change which was later donated) and Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes went the high-end Vanity Fair route and had Annie Leibowitz snap the pics … and no money went to charity.

Both were stunts, and both pimped out the celeb babies. But we think you should decide which was a bigger baby sale: Suri on Vanity Fair or Shiloh on People?

Cast your votes for the most pimped out baby of the year, and we'll try to run the results before Britney Spears' second kid lands the cover of Cosmopolitan.

Normally, we're not in the habit of running press releases for products … but this really is just sick. Just, like, flippin' crazy. As though it weren't bad enough that a museum full of wax celebrities exists in the first place, now they are actually promoting the products that are in this gross place.

This one is from KMC PR, who apparently reps the Stokke™ Sleepi™ bassinet that little baby Shiloh Pitt-Jolie sleeps in. And yes, little wax baby Shiloh sleeps in one too. (We're cooing and puking at the same time.)

It's bad enough that her parents whore her out, but does Shiloh really need these well-heeled PR princesses making commission off her baby powdered ass? Plus, what kind of crappy campaign totes: "a wax doll sleeps on our crib and she rests so peacefully. Go see for yourself." We'll do you a favor. Spare the wax museum trip, and just read the press release. We promise it's much more entertaining.

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• Is John Travolta gearing up to play Chris Farley or something? [TMZ]

• Maybe he should try the Carson Daly/Daniel Day Lewis diet. [Page Six]

• Being the new Messiah and all, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is memorialized as the first wax baby evah. [PopSugar]

• Aren't these staged photos of Tori Spelling in front of a pawn shop darling? What's next, another publicity stunt boob job? [Mollygood]

• Well, we have one more year until it cost $5 to ride the subway. (Cue general cackle from bloggers in response to the concept of leaving the apartment.) [NYT]

We hope you're reading now and saving these images while you can, because the people at People are probably going to crap their pants in about 14 seconds.

Our devilish stepsister Mollygood scanned the photos from Hello! And damn, that Brad Pitt is a sexy daddy! We guess the baby's kind of cute, too.

NOTE: Due to People's dumbass move of paying $4.1 million dollars for photos that Hello! ran three days before they did, we are forced to take down the pictures of the Jolie-Pitt family which once graced this blog.

But if you live in a cave and still want to check out the photos on sites that haven't been threatened by People, check out the New York Post, New York magazine, and People.

Quick, People's legal department will probably bring action against People.com any minute now.

Brad Pitt just murdered 100 kittens [Mollygood]
Earlier: The Shiloh Nouvel People Cover Premiers
Earlier: The First Look at Shiloh! (No Proceeds of This Photo Go to Charity)

Hey, what do you know … Page Six was wrong*.

Even though the photo looks a bit out of focus, as far as we know this Hello! cover is legit, and you are about to (maybe) feast your eyes on the first photo of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt cuddling with mommy Angelina Jolie and daddy Brad Pitt.

(Lawyers for Time Inc. and People forced us to take down the image of Hello! magazine with Shiloh Nouvel on the cover. We guess because they paid like a gillion dollars for that baby's face.)

Awww, she looks like a baby! A really hot baby. And someday, when this little cutie saves Africa because her parents sold her to Unicef, they will build statues of her and write a really long book of scripture. So, even if this isn't her baby sister, the point is that Zahara is clearly going to have some serious issues.

The moment you've all been waiting so long (a week or so) for: Shiloh photos [Mollygood]

*Correction: We failed to recognize that Hello! is a British pub, and that People may very well still get the US rights to own all photos of Brangelina's baby.

We're sorry folks. We often assume that outlets like Reuters and AP Wire will have the most up to the minute news on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, but we forget that they don't have 300 people a day calling and emailing in their gossip and information.

Yes, photos of Shiloh were sold to Getty, with proceeds going towards charity. But according to Page Six all of this went down over the weekend, and Getty has already flipped the pics over to People for $4.1 mil.

All the weekly magazine editors were summoned to the offices of the Getty photo agency at Canal and Varick late Saturday night. "We were sequestered into separate and un-air-conditioned offices," said one. "The photos were shown to us around 10 p.m. to midnight, and then we had to submit bids by 6 a.m. Sunday morning. No one got any sleep at all, as it was a manic game of phone-tag to top each other's bids. I'm convinced it was Brangie's revenge on the weekly magazines." The pictures went to People for $4.1 million.

That sounds like a great way to spend a Saturday night, right? Well, nice snag People. And nice scoop for Page Six — especially because it emphasized that the Post isn't the only shadeball publication in this biz.

BABY FOR SALE! [Page Six]

Little Shiloh Pitt-Jolie is merely a few weeks old … but Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are already putting her to work. Well, sort of. You all know how completely devoted to saving the children Angelina is, and how devoted Brad is to pretending to care in order to hang on to his hottie, so it shouldn't come as much of a surprise that they have decided to turn the birth of their daughter into a charity campaign.

The first photos of the new baby, surely the hottest commodity since iPods, will be sold to Getty Images for an estimated price of $5-$7 million.

In a joint statement, Pitt and Jolie said they hoped that proceeds from photos of their daughter would go toward saving the lives of newborn children in Africa.

"While we celebrate the joy of the birth of our daughter, we recognize that 2 million babies born every year in the developing world die on the first day of their lives," the couple said. "These children can be saved, but only if governments around the world make it a priority."

And we all know that the number one reading material on any member of the U.S. government's list is Life & Style.

Proceeds from Pitt-Jolie baby pix to go to charity [Reuters]