Unlike Lauren Conrad, who wanted to forgive—and forget—frenemy Heidi Montag, Roy Horn (not the peroxide blond) has truly made amends with Montecore, the gigantic white and black-striped quadruped who nearly cost him his life.*
According to the Associated Press, Horn is "convinced that Montecore sensed [he] was having a mini-stroke and was dragging him to safety, rather than attacking him. 'I hang out with my lifesaver,' Horn said." Even neater? There's talk of a revival act…a full-tilt, Vegas production starring Siegfried, Roy and (you guessed it!) the heroic Montecore.
When asked for her take on this exciting news, Steve Irwin's still-grieving widow turned to Roy Horn and scornfully remarked, "You're an idiot."
*But who, singlehandedly, taught us to authoritatively answer the question, "Which one's Roy?"
Dept. of Agriculture ends investigation without explanation for Roy Horn's mauling
The tiger-was-hungry theory was ruled out. And there was no proof that the animal was deliberately provoked by someone in the audience, or that a terrorist sprayed it with a behavior-altering scent, or that it was unhinged by a woman with a beehive hairdo.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. So it still could've been one of Michael Jackson's spriitual leaders casting spells from Africa for millions of dollars? Sounds like an incomplete investigation to us.
Editorial Director
