Considering that magazines are dying and cigarettes can kill, you’d think the two would be a perfect match. Turns out, with all the future smokers underage readers and restrictions, print is dead to Big Tobacco.

R.J. Reynolds Tobacco, maker of Camel and American Spirit, announced that it wouldn’t run any ads in consumer magazines in 2008. Philip Morris has not run a print ad in the past three years. Reynold’s decision is unofficially the result of a flap over a recent Camel insert in Rolling Stone’s November 15 issue.

So now that cigarettes won’t be advertised in magazines, maybe they’ll garner an indie appeal, making high school kids look extra cool smoking. After all, as Lydia Hearst reminded us, "this whole country was founded on [looking cool]."

Deep thoughts, by Jack Handey Lydia Hearst: “I don’t smoke, but people say that you get secondhand smoke…But this is a country that was founded mainly on the tobacco industry–tobacco and coffee. It’s so surprising that they are now essentially making cigarettes illegal, when that is where the whole country came from.” Congratulations, Big Tobacco! You just found yourselves a new lobbyist. [Mollygood]

• Sopranos stalkers have been incessantly calling Holsten's ice cream parlor (in Bloomfield, NJ) to reserve the booth where Tony may or may not have gotten shot.

• The health commissioner attribute a recent drop in cigarette sales to those creepy anti-smoking ads featuring Stephen Hawking. However, we're convinced the whole "$8 a pack" thing may have something to do with it.

• A grouchy wet blanket takes a Long Island couple to court over an out of control game of Marco Polo.

• Rudy Giuliani kinda, maybe starting to regret helping Bloomberg get elected mayor.

• Lenox Hill Hospital attempts to upgrade their status from "junk" to "tolerable, but pretty fuckin' crappy."

• Congress asks women's mags to please stop airing those sexy tobacco ads, to which the editors responded, "We certainly don't advocate smoking, substance abuse problems or throwing up after meals. We're just saying that's what all the real fashion models do."

• Angelina's lawyer takes "credit" for drawing up that anal-retentive contract that pissed off every working member of the media. Really, did you think Angie was bright enough to come up with all those legalize "terms and conditions" on her own?

• After firing Don Imus several months back, WFAN is having trouble finding another sacrificial lamb to take his place.

• According to Jon Fine, CBS' moves are "coherent philosophically, and about as in tune with how people behave online as one may expect a traditional company to be." Stop it Jon, you're making them blush.

• "On 'Fatblogs,' Heavy People Weigh In" begins this sensitively titled LA Times piece.

• Forbes brings us an insightful profile of the best writer/editor we've never heard of.

"Price-cutting and other marketing strategies widely used by the tobacco and alcoholic beverage industries are highly effective in encouraging children and teenagers to smoke and drink," declares today's New York Times.

And while experts advocate decreasing the number of alcohol and cigarette ads geared towards adolescents, they also acknowledge peer pressure, hormones and "that incredibly nicotine high" as other risk factors, concluding that teen drinking will likely prevail so long as "the 'popular' kids keep throwing those raging keggers."

• Tina Fey brings the glory of Rockefeller Center to the small screen. Tune in — if only for the slight chance 75-time SNL host Alec Baldwin will do something funny. [Gothamist]

• Oh, to live on one of the top 50 blocks of New York. We don't think Prospect Avenue in Brooklyn even makes it into the top 800. [Curbed]

• Smoking is not glamorous. Unless of course you're a New York musician/rocker named Cat Power and then smoking is totally hot. [FBNY]

• We already told you about the aircraft/small plane/helicopter/bird/Super Man which crashed into a building but … well, that pretty much trumps all other news at this point, so we're telling you again. [NYT]

• What are these UPS people thinking? Can't they deliver their packages without getting in Donald Trump's way? Uh, hello, people. He's rich and powerful. Don't annoy him. [Page Six]

Oh, Graydon Carter, say it ain't so! The head of Vanity Fair, who is known as much for his risque mag covers as for his decision to kick his smoking habit, is the target of Radar's stalker-ish gossip for the day. And it seems that dear old Graydon is puffin' away once again.

After making a glorious stink about finally giving up his habit, the be-winged Canadian was recently caught puffing a Camel on his way out of the Diane von Furstenberg show at Bryant Park.

"He just put it in his mouth like he was waiting for everyone to start snapping pictures," says an onlooker. "It was like a photo op." Perhaps he was trying to make a statement; after all, even after quitting, Carter remained one of the most vocal critics of the New York City smoking ban, which he derided as "asinine" and quasi-fascist.

The item also hints that Graydon could be smoking again in order to drop the weight he's gained sice quitting. But he really should know by now — come on, he's even at Fashion Week — if you wanna drop the pounds, blow's definitely the only way to go.

Exploding Graydon Back on the Butts [Jeff Bercovici, Radar]

Smoking is bad for you. Bad, bad, bad. It fills your lungs with tar, turns your teeth yellow, causes heart disease, and makes you act like a real bitch when you're too broke to spring for a box of Lights.

Despite this much-spread knowlege, however, there is something so commercially appealing about it … sitting outside on a cool summer evening, puffing a cig, flipping your hair in the breeze … it keeps people puffin' away.

And somehow replacing that blessed act of smoking the cancer in with rubbing some tea-bag-like tobacco called "Camel Frost" on your lips just doesn't match up.

All three of the new products, which sell for $3 to $7 a container, package smokeless tobacco in pouches made of tea-bag-like material that is placed between the lip and the gum. The pouches are discarded after 10 minutes to half an hour and do not require spitting.

No question here — these tea bags will still kill you. Plus, you'll have the added douchebaggery of asking the hottie outside the bar "can I bum one of your tea bags?" And who knows what'll end up in your mouth if you go that route.

No Smoke, No Foul? Critics Disagree [Jane L. Levere, New York Times]