• New, wholly unnecessary installment of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, to star chubby no-name comedian. Alllllllright then!
• Brawl at Les Deux leaves one person weave-less, everyone else laughing uncontrollably.
• Pete Wentz continues to play off his gay fans.
• It must be nice not relying on the sketchy deli/bodega next door for your daily nutritional lunch.
• Star Jones dry-humping her gay husband wins the "Most Disturbing Image Of The Day" award.
• Eva Longoria and Jessica Simpson pretend to be lesbian lovers. Which would've been hotter if Jess hadn't accidentally dressed up as a tranny. Again.
• Despite wearing designer duds to the Costume Institute Gala, Lindsay Lohan nevertheless finds a way to show side-boob. The bad kind.
• Meanwhile, ScarJo borrows Britney Spears' stylist, pairs slutty mini-frock with fishnets.
• And the evening's surprise success story? Marc Jacobs. Who would have thought alcoholism, rehab and contact lenses could have such an impact?
• Marilyn Manson's new video "may be inappropriate for viewers under the age of 16." Fortunately for Manson, girlfriend Evan Rachel Wood is a ripe ol' 17!
• In case you were wondering, Star Jones isn't interested in taking Rosie's place on The View. Because Barbara Walters would never, ever let that happen she already has a job.
• The jury is still out as to which part of Britney Spears' extremely flattering outfit is the "absolute sexiest."
• Here's a look at Eddie Murphy in the hot tub. Which is somewhat ironic, seeing as his career is currently in the toilet.
• Lindsay Lohan parties with Us Weekly! Related: Next issue of Us Weekly to feature cover-story on Lohan's hard-partying ways!
• Kristin Cavallari: she's sooo transparent.
• Fred Durst to give the American public that Limp Bizkit reunion nobody asked for.
Anyone up for a quick stroll down Memory Lane? Because the news of Rosie's sudden impending departure from The View has us feeling all nostalgic, and inspired to take a look back at the show's long, sordid history, and admire how much the program has evolved since it first launched sometime in the mid/late 1990's.
And suddenly, we're flashing back to 1997, a time when people were custom-building bomb shelters in preparation for Y2K, our high school boyfriend kept on pressuring us to "just do it already," and bimbo/trailblazer Debbie Matenopoulos was paving the way for Elisabeth Hasselbeck to take her place as "the blond one who's always wrong."
A time when Barbara Walters was actually sort of in charge, Star Jones was all morbidly obese and "I'm a lawyer," Katie Couric was still sitting pretty at the Today Show, no one had even heard of Meredith Vieira, and Joy Behar actually got some occasional air-time, which she generally wasted by shrilly reminding us how hilarious she's not.
Sigh.
CONTINUED »
• Star Jones is looking for a new assistant! Interested applicants must be able to prioritize, multi-task and listen to her bark "I'm a lawyer!" ten times a day without snickering. Ever.
• In the midst of the Daily News and Wall Street Journals' post-Pulitzer celebrations, Jack Shafer reminds us that the awards are essentially a worthless crock of shit.
• Katie Couric owes Don Imus a bouquet of flowers for momentarily distracting everyone from that whole icky plagiarism thing.
• Paris Hilton's so nervous about a possible stint in the clink that she bought herself a brand new pair of artificial boobs. Allegedly.
• People are practically lining up around the block to throw feces at Richard Gere. And here he thought he's alienated everyone with Shall We Dance.
Star Jones isn't just a formerly XXL self-promoting Bridezilla and co-host of The View. She's also a lawyer, dammit. Which is why she currently works for Court TV and is guest-starring on Law & Order: SVU…as a lawyer. (Just like her real-life persona!)
Anyways, Star was recently asked about the direction the show has taken since her, um, involuntary departure. And here's what she had to say:
It's very difficult not to keep up with [the show] if you read newspapers or magazines or do any work on the Internet….If that's what their viewers want, then that's where they needed to go. It's not where I would want it to go. That's why I'm doing [Court TV]. I wanted to return to something that allows me to be back where I'm at home.
• Fun and confident. That's what Ann Shoket's new Seventeen is all about.
• Star Jones back on daytime. Here's hoping her Court TV gabfest has Star sparring with The View's timeslot.
• Ann Coulter put quote marks around "faggot." And so she gets a pass.
• "Honestly confident." That's how new NBC Nightly News exec producer Alexandra Wallace feels about landing back in first place by April. How will she get there? A little thing we like to call … a prayer.
• The Office star Rashida Jones is half-Jewish. Also, half-black. Doubly disadvantaged?
• Josh Duhamel, ass inspector. But he'll probably tell you he was just touching Fergie's swimsuit because he misses his own.
• Rosie O'Donnell lets it all hang. Upside down. To fight SAD.
CONTINUED »
Exclusive
By now you've heard the news: The season finale of Law & Order: SVU won't be about a father who kills his wife and baby, but rather the trio of celebrity guest spots. Star Jones is popping up as a prosecutor, Nancy Grace plays herself, and Ludacris is … well, we're not sure what he's doing there. Maybe he's the one who finds the body in the opening scene?
Either way, while the network is expecting a ratings boost, not everyone is thrilled with the new additions. A NBC source tells us SVU stars Chris Meloni and Mariska Hargitay are anything but pleased about the new arrivals.
Says our insider: "It's the season finale. They wanted [the last show] to be about them … and now [producers] are bringing in all this star power. They're pissed." Adds our source: "Mostly, it's about Star Jones. Nobody wants her on the show. I can't, for the life of me, figure out how her agent got her [this role]."
To which producers replied – in the imaginary conversation we just had with them – "Chris and Mariska just got huge pay raises. Tell 'em to fuck off."
• Star Jones allowed back on television, but only in a role she's practiced.
• Maybe they're moving to the Dakota, maybe they're not — but TomKat won't be separated in Shreveport, La.
• Former Miss Teen USA Vanessa Minillo will help The Donald choose the next crackwhore named Miss USA.
• Russell Simmons is A-OK with Djimon Hounsou having sloppy Kimora seconds.
• Matthew McConaughey has been showing off his V on the beach all for a movie role.
• Barack Obama walked into a room.
• Hollywood, circa 2037 … is gross.
CONTINUED »
A new report shows that obesity surgery among teens has tripled since 2000.
The findings suggest that "celebrities having the surgery may be a factor," but we still think Star Jones is to blame.
• While Nicole Richie is totally okay with licking a plate of cocaine on camera, she'd rather be hospitalized for dehydration than be filmed eating.
• Does Josh Hartnett enjoy bar brawls as much as he enjoys bar bathroom blow jobs?
• Note to Vince Vaughn: When you flirt with Paris Hilton, you're flirting with danger the possibility of contracting venereal diseases.
• Meanwhile, Paris and Nicole know they're in trouble when Courtney Love calls their professional qualifications into question.
• In more proof the world doesn't make sense, Kimora Lee Simmons is "dating" Djimon Hounsou and the best Cameron Diaz can do is PDA's with Tyrese.
• If Star Jones Reynolds is reprising her role as a lawyer, does that means Tracy Morgan gets to reprise his role as Tranny Star Jones?
So much for The View hopeful Lola Ogunnaike — looks like the "black lady slot" on Barbara Walters' morning estrogen-fest has been filled by Sherri Shepherd. First rumormongered on Canada.com and (nearly) confirmed on Ellegedly.com, ABC is said to be finishing up a deal with Shepherd, who white people might know from Beauty Shop and BET's Comic View. The past few days have been her test run to replace Star Jones' empty seat.
Rumor is they are going to work the angle of Shepherd's sudden divorce… her ex hubby Jeff was a cheating, all while their newborn baby was in the neonatal intensive care…. Well, Shepherd threw him to the curb…
Even more exciting: While Rosie O'Donnell may be blogging, Shepherd is already on MySpace — and has just 2660 friends. Shame, we know. So add her to your Top 8, and show Rosie O'Donnell which big girl has your vote.
• Ah hah, so that's how Radar gets its exclusives.
• A couple dozen Time Inc. layoffs should be no reason to have your holiday ruined
• Star Jones fesses up to being the diva we always knew she was.
• What do you get for the octogenarian who has everything? Whale vomit, obvi!
• A Very Un-Brady Christmas: Bridget Moynahan to purchase Frizz Ease, find rebound-guy.
• Angelina Jolie to paparazzi: Get your wide-angle, ultra-telephoto zoom lenses off my adopted family.
CONTINUED »
• Blame Michael Knowles for starting those Beyonce v. Jennifer Hudson rumors.
• Perez Hilton gets the Salon treatment.
• Paris Hilton clean up, for anyone? Uh, no.
• Taryn Manning throws down at Social Hollywood.
• Resse Witherspoon and Jennifer Garner do lunch. Obviously sleeping together.
• Star Jones, always a face for radio, is headed there.
• Brangelina still talking about having more kids.
• Elisha Cuthbert, the next panty-less photo victim?
• Paris Hilton may not be heading into space, but some celebs are worthy of time travel.
While we already had ourselves a bit of fun highlighting how Richard Johnson used I Want Media's "Media Person of the Year" comments section to nominate himself, why pass up an opportunity to see a publicist attempt an under-the-radar plug for her client?
"Star Jones Reynolds is the Media Person of the Year. She has had quite a life in the media this year and has handled it all with nothing but grace and class. She deserves to be recognized."
— Cassie McConnell
That quote, which appeared earlier this week, just so happens to come from one of Star Jones' publicists. Well, Cassie was one of Star's reps as of yesterday — she announced to her Rolodex that she was leaving Susan Blond PR to head to Nashville for, uh, country music PR.
Nothing like a last minute billable hour.
• While Hennesey loves to be named dropped in rap lyrics, model Melyssa Ford does not.
• Is Madonna after Malawian baby No. 2? That's the latest rumor, which also has her battling an Australia couple for a one Jessica Kondanani.
• Star Jones has found a new job. And it's on TV! She'll exec produce and host Black America, a new show on TV One that Elisabeth Hasselbeck will never be able to find.
• Paris Hilton would never let puking get in the way of lip synching.
• Jon Bon Jovi forced Beyonce to take the stage with Michael Jackson at the World Music Awards because, like, you know, that whole "he likes little boys" thing.
Ouch. Looks like Meredith Vieira isn't following in the sweet and perky steps of Katie Couric. After nine years wedged next to Star Jones and Joy Behar, we guess she couldn't help but turn out a bit of a catty biyotch.
Which Vieira proves by majorly dissing her former digs in the press.
Vieira, who was The View moderator for nine years, said she was proud of her work at the popular daytime talk show and feels it has taken a turn for the worse.
"It's hard to watch. It sort of became a joke," she told the magazine.
Though she turned down a job on CBS's Early Show in 2002, Vieira said, she couldn't turn her back on the opportunity to co-host the Today show.
And Who Wants to Be a Millionaire was such a serious endeavour.
10 Questions for Meredith Vieira [Time]
Vieira No Longer Views 'The View' [New York Times, AP]
Spotted yesterday: Star Jones in Detroit, taking a Northwest flight to LaGuardia with what appears to be her assistant. Unfortunately we didn't get a chance to chat with her, which was fine, since we really didn't want to put her in a mood that would've had federal authorities waiting for either one of us when we landed. Plus, she and the assistant type downed cans of Miller Light before the flight took off, and we know how ornery Star can get.
• Ha ha. And all you "Midtown East" folks try to pretend you're so far away from Queens. The power outages are spreading. Listen to your Conde Nast memos everyone. [ABC]
• Star Jones Reynolds decides not to keep throwing her New York penthouse triplex, complete with a gold bathroom, in our faces. [Curbed]
• These pictures of Scarlett Johansson riding the Cyclone in Coney Island temporarily help us forget about the fact that we’re living in Hell. [Blog NYC]
• Crime is on the rise at New York City clubs (duh), but that all depends on whether or not you go to the good ones. [Gothamist]
In classic Drudge Report fashion, website Media Take Out reports there's more drama in store for our fair Star Jones. Seems hubby Al Reynolds, in between getting a oil change and a lube job, stopped by the office of Stanford Lotwin, divorce attorney extraordinaire to the likes of Donald Trump and Diana Ross.
Last week Al Reynolds visited the offices of the divorce law firm Blank Rome LLP in New York's Chrysler building. MediaTakeOut.com spoke exclusively with a building employee who first noticed Star's soon-to-be-ex. According to the witness, "Al walked up to the security desk and signed in to visit [one of the Blank Rome's divorce lawyers] Stanford Lotwin."
Mr. Lotwin is one of the most prominent divorce attorney's in New York. He worked on the high-profile divorces of Howard Stern, Donald Trump, Geraldo Rivera and Diana Ross.
After remaining upstairs for nearly two hours, Al tried to quietly sneak out of the building. But before he could leave, the witness tells MediaTakeOut.com, "I walked up to him and said 'Al, is that you', and Al ran out of the building - almost knocking over a pregnant woman."
Now we certainly shouldn't immediately jump to the conclusion that their dissolution has anything to do with his being gay. But we will. And it begs the question: Who's going to carry Star's bedonkadeonk butt all around Southampton?
AL REYNOLDS VISITS HIGH-PROFILE DIVORCE LAWYER [Media Take Out]
Editorial Director
