Ron Burkle, the not-so-secret secret financier of the now-defunct Radar, is most famous for his BFF'ness with the Clintons. So his panties would naturally be in a twist after reading The National Enquirer's constant smears of Bill Clinton and his "secret orgies."
His counter-attack: sending the snark brigade at Radar after AMI's scent, and specifically after David Pecker, the chief of AMI (which owns National Enquirer, along with Star magazine). Ooh, AMI is running out of money!
So how come Pecker and Co. were able to buy Radar's online domain, now that Maer Roshan has run the magazine into the ground? And is it good business sense or just sweet, sweet revenge?
CONTINUED »
In the winner's corner: Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer dominated the tabloids this week, with most publications declaring them the hot new couple. There's not much to be negative about, except for the fact that any relationship involving Jen is doomed to fail.
In the loser's corner: Jessica and Ashlee Simpson are competing to see who can make it to the altar first, because isn't that what romance is all about? We can't decide who's the bigger loser in this situation — the Simpsons or their poor significant others.
Also this week: Britney continues to get her act together, Lindsay gets mixed reviews and Angelina is possibly getting married. But don't hold your breath. CONTINUED »
Why does everyone still care about Britney's erratic behavior? Why do magazines with her face on the cover continue to fly off the racks week after week despite bearing near-identical headlines like "Children In Danger!" and "Where's Mommy?" Because, as it turns out, people have found that reading about rich, famous people who just can't seem to get their shit together actually makes them feel better about themselves.
At least, that's how shameless Britney detractor (and HuffPo contributor) Bonnie Fuller sees it. As the Star chieftain writes:
Every time that our girl Brit cluelessly tries to whitestrip her toddler's teeth instead of brushing them or runs a red light with the court-appointed monitor and her two sons all strapped in her car…give yourselves permission to pat yourselves on the back for a change. You may not be the perfect mom, but you ain't Britney.
Thanks for that explanation/rationalization, Bonnie! We feel truly enlightened. After all, who knew muckraking stories about Britney skipping court-ordered drug tests in favor of "major" liposuction on her tummy and upper thighs could be so damn uplifting?
It might be Candace Trunzo's Star, but Bonnie Fuller still wears the pants, and the title, of editorial director. That's editorial director, though, and not reporter, which is what she was looking like on Wednesday at One Park Avenue's Equinox gym.
When Bonnie got word that Nicole Richie was there sipping Fiji working out, Bonnie ran downstairs from Star's third floor offices to the second floor gym, where she has a membership (and can sometimes be spotted working out nearby Atoosa Rubenstein), and reported her little heart out.
The item that eventually made it on to StarMagazine.com, meanwhile, attributes the story to "a Star eyewitness." Indeed. She just happens to be on staff and earning $1.5 million a year.
Another exciting tabloid Wednesday is upon us, and this time, all of the celebrity weeklies did an exceptional job not copying one another. Given that nothing ever happens in the month of August (and most journalists celeb weekly stalkers are on vacay) the tabs have unsurprisingly reverted to frequent standbys Britney Spears and Angelina Jolie to sell their covers.
And while the Cruises are vacationing in Berlin, the Jolie-Pitts are frivolously spending money on children's birthday parties, and LiLo is enjoying the comfort of her new Utah treatment center day spa, we invite you all to sit back, relax and let Intern Joe remind you that celebrities are like exotic creatures. Exotic drive drunk, wage custody battles against distant relatives and go to first base with broke college kids because someone "double-dared" them to.
Since Lindsay cruelly waited until Tuesday morning to pull out all the stops and go for a coked-out high-speed car chase, this week the tabs were all about Britney Spears. And while that's not particularly shocking in and of itself, this week, there was actually something worth talking about, seeing as Britney Spears went out of her way to attract the attention of the photogs, celebrity weeklies and mental health professions everywhere. In addition to possibly swiping some overpriced crap (something no self-indulgent famous person has ever done before!) she actually went into the ocean (get this!) to cool down. Call the psych ward at Bellview, and get this lunatic into the asylum, stat!
In other celebrity trainwreck news, things apparently aren't looking too good for Brad and Angelina (according to those ubiquitous unnamed sources) Tara Reid is still alive and still a fall-down drunk plus Hollywood apparently has this new trend called "parenting." Incredible! For a moment, we contemplated sorting through this week's glossies, until we remembered the tabs are actually Intern Joe's domain.
His findings (A new trend called "parenting!" Tara Reid's still a mess! Jessica Simpson has a new gay boyfriend!) after the jump.
This week it's all about the Eva Longoria wedding extravaganza, but—seeing as we've (gasp!) never seen an episode of Desperate Housewives, we could really care less. So, instead we'll bring you what we think really matters, or as we like to think of it, the creme de la creme of trashy non-Longoria related gossip.
In that spirit, allow Intern Joe to lead you into a wonderful escapist world, where we learn the perils of weighing only 90 pounds in your second trimester, how to "out" Lindsay Lohan by hacking into her Myspace account, who's the grosses PDA couple of them all and which celebs have been carbo-loading instead of hitting the treadmill prior to bikini season.
So what did the glosses tell contribute to the world this week?
Well, they reminded us that the celebrity baby boom makes for some excellent page fillers, resulting in copious amounts of baby pictures and relatively few stories. Meanwhile, Paris Hilton is out of jail and most of the tabs have either realized that we're well past caring, or else failed to get the interview exclusive (ahem, Janice Min). Regardless, we made the most of our Paris-free afternoon by reading about LiLo's newfound sobriety, appreciating the meager efforts of the remaining four-person Life & Style staffers and admiring In Touch for giving us a jam-packed issue that may or may not result in a libel suit with Jesse Metcalf.
Intern Josephs sifts through the unconfirmed rumors, celebrity scandals and summer cellulite to bring you the highlights…after the jump.
Congratulations to Julia Allison, who turned her Dave Zinczenko trysts into a Time Out New York dating column, and who turned her Fox News Red Eye temporary banishment into a full-time gig as Star magazine's TV talking head, taking over for Jill Dobson, who is now full-time at Fox News.
Which means two things: 1) Fewer chances to see Bonnie Fuller awkwardly explain Katie Holmes' baby secrets on Good Morning America; 2) At some point we'll get to watch Julia try to pronounce "Stavros Niarchos."
Attention, tabloid readers out there! If you didn't think as though you were skinny enough, adequately loved or fashionably dressed, we have just the tabs to make you feel even worse about yourselves. What a forgettable week for the glossies. Were the editors shaken up by Shar Jackson's war on Star magazine? Probably not, but something must be up, because we'd hate to think that Hollywood truly is this boring.
Thankfully, some tabs did offer some surprises this week, like In Touch's front-to back gossip fest. (Okay, fine, technically the back was just an advertisement for chocolate chip cookies). But the biggest surprise this week was OK! magazine's jumbo Princess Diana spread. Tina Brown couldn't have planned it any better herself!
So sit back, relax and get comfortable. Intern Joe is on hand to tell you which celebrity weeklies deliver the goods and which ones fall even flatter than Keira Knightley's chest…after the jump.
Bonnie Fuller is getting the blunt end of the Shar Jackson sword, we're hearing.
Shar is said to be furious with the AMI editorial director over Star magazine's claims that she's is carrying a third child for Kevin Federline. She swears the rumors are false, and that they're damaging her children. Which means she's out for a payday (we're assuming), lawyering up and saying she "stand[s] by my truth by offering you an EPT test if you stand by yours and reveal your 'source' to me."
Only problem is: Bonnie is on holiday. She's in the Canadian Martimes with her family, we're told, and had nothing to do with the Shar rumors.
Rather, it's current Star EIC Candace Trunzo (and National Enquirer chief David Perel, if our source's calculations are right) who's behind the Shar pregnancy claims — and the push to blame Bonnie for any falsehoods.
Bonnie, meanwhile, hasn't had much control of the tabloid since Candace took over.
So redirect your nasty, Ms. Jackson.
Ah, the good old days, when tabloids weren't so trashy that you devote an entire television commercial to promoting them without flagging the FCC. Now they've been reduced to being pimped on home shopping networks. Rejoice: The checkout aisle pockets are part of both tabloid past and present.
So remember the other day when old Cindy Adams' copy of Star magazine arrived at her Yorkie-filled apartment a day early, enabling her to get that amazing "scoop" on Shar Jackson's pregnancy?
Well, turns out Cindy would have been better off using that magazine to pick up after her yappy little dogs instead. Because now, in addition to denying the whole thing, Jackson has already lawyered up, presumably with the intent of slapping Star with a fairly lucrative lawsuit.
TMZ has learned Shar Jackson has hired attorney George Gallegos in her fight against Star Magazine's claims that she is pregnant once again with ex Kevin Federline's baby. Popozao!
Shar, who denies the mag's claim, says her children are being affected by the rumors, and told TMZ through her rep, "When my kids hear things at school and then ask me if they are getting a new brother or sister, I have to put my foot down."
But wait! There's more!
This morning, we woke up and prayed that the tabs wouldn't completely drown us with "OMG, Paris Hilton's in jail" news, however nothing could have prepared us for what we found instead…nothing. In typical humdrum fashion, we get a sleep-inducing collage of celebrity images—from no makeup, to extreme weight loss, to baby bumps and cellulite. The only exception to this week's snoozefest is that bastion of credibility otherwise known as US, whose groundbreaking research ultimately revealed Vanessa Manillo's penchant for cutlery.
Intern Joseph has your in-depth review (and our iced mocha latté) after the jump.
Best Week Ever's large and loyal web community (we believe the term "sticky" could be used here) is in uproar over Star transplant David Caplan, who, we told you, was hired by VH1 to bring exclusive gossip reports to their network of web properties. Except it isn't going over well, if you're to read the comments.
Caplan busted on to BWE.tv with a Lindsay Lohan rehab item yesterday. Today, he massaged his sources for another Lohan item: Linds plans on having her birthday party at Pure in Las Vegas with or without Svedka's sponsorship. (And whether or not she's supposed to be in rehab.) But BWE's readers aren't so happy about it.
"This is terrible," says one. "No one reads BWE for gossip. We want to read people making fun of gossip. I’m so disappointed."
It only gets worse. CONTINUED »
Told you we were headed down a slippery slope. When Janice Min began carrying out the Jann Wenner-ordered "Fake News" hatchet jobs that we've grown so fond of, we knew it was only a matter of time before the tabs fought back. Up first is Star, which retaliated this afternoon with the web story "US Magazine's Twisted Double Life!."
The beef centers around Us' June 11 cover story "Inside Shiloh's World: The secret home life of a daddy's girl and the surprising truth about Mom," which gave readers the idea that the Wenner weekly had uncovered untold scores of uber-exclusive details of what it's like to live with Brad and Angelina as your parents.
Except, argues Star: "US Weekly's revelations about Jolie-Pitt's "secret home life" aren't so secret after all. In fact, most of the article has been recycled from TV interviews and other magazines, including Reader's Digest, U.K.'s Elle and Glamour!"
Oooh, unsourced recycled reporting!
CONTINUED »
So, this week we get another exciting look at the same old stories. To spare you the pain of actually reading any of them, we bring you the 15-second synopsis.
Jessica and John Mayer had a grand cry-fest in Cabo, San Lucas and are (probably!) over. Meanwhile, the dumb one from The Hills is marrying her annoying shark-toothed boyfriend, while Matthew McConaughey (who kind of looks like a monkey) continues to prance around shirtless, sometimes with Indian warpaint.
Finally, the tabs all honed in on Brad and Angelina for the millionth week in a row and said pretty much the same things on Lindsay Lohan (troubled starlet loves coke, needs intervention, etc.)
Intern Joseph brings you the 90-second synopsis, after the jump!
Yesterday's "BWE EXCLUSIVE: Lindsay’s Partying Pal Reacts To Lindsay’s SECOND Rehab Stint!" on Best Week Ever's blog wasn't just notable because it was one of the few times they "dipp[ed] its toes into the shark-infested waters of exclusive celebrity gossip" (rather than rehasing someone else's report with their witty commentary) — it was also the first contribution by now-former Star New York bureau chief David Caplan.
We told you about Caplan's decamping earlier this month, with his farewell email making quite clear what his new role at VH1's properties would be about: "hot, dishy news items, gossip items, sightings, party & event coverage, fashion/beauty-celeb items, celeb books, celeb-endorsed products/items, nightlife and restaurant items."
It's just too bad Caplan's debut had to include soundbites from Brittny Gastineau, who's not one to comment on Lindsay Lohan's partying antics … partly to do with her participation in the scene, but mostly due to her irrelevance.
"I am very interested in celebrities and always have been. I have the same burning questions as everyone else, about Tom and Nicole's relationship and why did Brad and Jen break up. It's impossible to get jaded with celebrities."
That's Bonnie Fuller, opening up to Media Life about her unique perspective on celebrity culture. And while we're momentarily stunned by her outdated references (Brad and Jen break up? Tom and Nicole??) we're simultaneously gearing up for what promises to be an insightful, revealing interview.
Inevitably, we're wrong.
Bonnie Fuller is on full PR mode, offering annoying pat responses to inquiries about her future ("My next step is continuing to grow all the great magazines and brands here at American Media") and refusing even to answer the most banal questions, such as "what are you worst at?"
[Note to Bonnie: You don't have to be heart-wrenchingly honest here. No need for a candid response involving the phrases "soulless bitch" or "sleazy muckraker." Just say something stupid like "I'm a perfectionist" or "It's so hard for me to fit exercise into my busy schedule of ruining innocent people's lives."]
Truthfully, we can't quite figure out why Bonnie's suddenly rendered incapable of normal speech (possibly she's still traumatized by the Brad/Jen breakup?) but we've nevertheless reprinted the most telling excerpts below for your viewing "pleasure."
In a bold move to show Janice Min that they don't give a shit what she thinks of their "reporting," Life & Style and In Touch are both kicking things off this week with the obligatory baby rumor mill.
Meanwhile, Life & Style, Us Weekly, and Star search desperately this week to find some hard-hitting celebrity news. Unfortunately, they fail, and instead resort to luring readers with their default "We Have No Story" covers of beach bodies, and celebrity BMI's.
Then, to round out this week's "Talk of the Tabs," In Touch can't seem to get enough of Angelina, as the notorious childnapper graces the cover for the umpteenth time, while OK! gives us yet another profile on someone that we really don't care about.
Let the games begin!
Intern Joe's heartfelt analysis, after the jump.
Editorial Director
