That new futuristic Macbook Pro is carved out of lightweight aluminum, which means you could probably toss them down some (carpeted) stairs and still have the damage be less than what that Steve Job's heart-attack rumor on CNN did for the Apple stock.
It's annoying to still have to answer questions about a fake story, but Jobs, ever the showman, found away around the inquiries with his typical nerdy flair:
Mr. Jobs deflected questions both on the company’s financial state, saying that it would report its fiscal fourth-quarter earnings next week, and on his health. He displayed a slide showing that his blood pressure was 110 over 70, adding that questions about his health would cause his blood pressure to rise.
Yeah so stop it guys, unless you actually want Steve Jobs to have a heart attack! Then where would we all be? (Using PC's and Zunes, ugh.)
In August, Bloomberg News prematurely declared Steve Jobs dead. In fact, he was still very much alive, and Bloomberg had merely published the Apple CEO's 17-page obituary by accident. Nevertheless, it left employees, the technology community, and shareholders a bit jittery. Then last week, CNN erroneously reported almost the same thing! Except this wasn't a matter of Wolf Blitzer getting punk'd by a source — it was a matter of its citizen journalism site iReport.com posting an anonymous item claiming Jobs suffered a heart attack. Also not true. But that didn't matter to shareholders, who sent Apple's stock price plummeting when the tech blogs picked up on the rumor and before the company could shoot down the claim and reassure everyone. (Shares rebounded by day's end, though they ended down three percent.) As it turns out, a one "Johntw" posted the report, and now he's sort of in serious trouble. Because CNN, it appears, does not like being made a fool, so they've turned over Johntw's computer trail to the Securities and Exchange Commission. CONTINUED »
CNN tried to cut down on costs by recruiting a lot of "non-traditional" and "all-platform" reporters, while spinning it as this sort of citizen journalist thing. In actuality, it was really just a desperate attempt to get bloggers writing for them for free without giving college credit. Fair enough: There is nothing wrong with being creative in these harsh economic times. (Gawker's Nick Denton calls it "assuming that the economy is so volatile that most of you would like a little bit more predictability about your own income." Cute, right?)
But problems arise when you stop fact-checking these non-journalists' work, and a story is reported true without any sourcing. Especially if the story involves Steve Jobs having a fake heart attack and ends up causing a massive crash of Apple's stock: CONTINUED »
Were you under the impression that fun, exciting wars were reserved for disputes between races, religions, tribes and nations? Wrong, silly. Computer companies can do battle also. Sure, it's even more stupid and offensive than regular combat, but at least the only casualties are money and dignity.
The image at right that looks like it was taken from an Apple ad was, in fact, taken from a Microsoft ad. Is your mind blown? That's the point. After pulling their ineffective, strange Seinfeld-Gates ads only two weeks after they premiered, Microsoft is striking again with a hipper, slicker attack. Sick of being pigeonholed as the computer for boring old turds, Microsoft is co-opting Apple's "nerd" character to do its PC bidding.
In a new 15-second spot, the "nerd" announces, "Hello. I'm a PC. And I've been made into a stereotype." Viewers are then introduced to a decidedly un-nerdy group of happy PC users, including children, Deepak Chopra and Pharrell Williams. Cool, right? Fuckin' Chopra, man.
Like a sleeping giant, Google continues to plot in the shadows, patiently awaiting the day when Microsoft and Apple kill each other and make room for its total world domination.
Sure, these days MTV is a heartless, godless whisper of what it once was, but don't say it's forgotten how to gorilla-pimp talented children.
This Monday, Engine Room, MTV's newest long-form commercial, will premiere and completely reinvent the exploiting-artists genre. Populated with ambitious computer whizzes, Engine Room takes four teams divided by nationality (!!!!!!!!!!) and pits them against each other in a digital design-off to see who can create the best artwork. "But how does this race baiting dogfight and the art it will produce make enormous whales even richer?" you're asking, well aware of MTV's MO. Where the cash comes in to play is in the computer hardware, all of which will be provided by Hewlett-Packard.
PCs are losing handily to Apples with the grownup-babies-who-buy-things-to-look-cool demographic – a huge demographic, by the way – and everyone except for Steve Jobs is looking for ways to appear "with it." So what better way to look cool and boost sales while exerting a piddling amount of creative effort than with a reality program on MTV? A program that promises a real live guest appearance by electronic vegan Moby? It's not like people are completely disgusted with that station's garbage yet. And wouldn't everyone love to see that smirk knocked off The Mac Guy's face? Everyone wins!
Best of luck to the Engine Room editors, the men and women whose job it will be to make viewers forget they're watching a bunch of sweating, anxious nerds make YouTube videos.
But it's not like anyone is getting a bonus, either. [Portfolio]
It doesn’t matter how good or bad the [Amazon Kindle] is, the fact is that people don’t read anymore. Forty percent of the people in the U.S. read one book or less last year. The whole conception is flawed at the top because people don’t read anymore.
-Steve Jobs, talking out of his ass.
From CNN: "After the price of an 8 GB iPhone was reduced to $399 from $599, CEO Jobs agrees to give store credit to those who paid the original price." Wow, that's like a $200 differential! Unfortunately, it turns out the store credit is only worth $100.
From Gizmodo: "The price of an 8GB iPhone just got lower, and the 4GB iPhone is on its way out, according to Apple CEO Steve Jobs. He announced the 8GB iPhone's new price will be $399, down $200 from its original $599 price."
Translation: All of you tech geeks who waited in line for three days and skipped work for the privilege of shelling out $400 for a cell phone now officially have last year's model. Also, you overpaid.
Noted Wall Street Journal tech critic Walt Mossberg is giddy like a schoolgirl – as many of you are – about Friday's unleashing of Apple's iPhone. Mossberg calls the iPhone a "breakthrough handheld computer." He also managed to get Steve Jobs on the line to answer a few questions for a blog post called "Steve Jobs Answers Walt’s iPhone Questions." Except it didn't go very well. CONTINUED »
Law & Order's Fred Thompson has reportedly asked to leave the show, indicating he's serious about running for president and ruining our country with Reaganomics.
&bull Dow Jones' largest outside shareholder urges Bancrofts to sell. His argument? "Who's to say Rupert Murdoch is all that bad?" Convincing!
• The prosecution rests their case against Conrad Black, meaning it's just a matter of time before the jury returns with a (guilty) verdict.
• Brooks Barnes ditches WSJ for NYT. Not because Barnes thinks the Times is a better paper, but because he's really psyched about covering "the business of Hollywood in all its fascinating iterations." And because they asked.
• Bill Gates and Steve Jobs continue to perpetuate the nerdiest and most boring rivalry. Ever.
• Meanwhile, weather media personalities have never been bigger! With the exception of Al Roker.
• Sure, it may seem like just another modern dance show. But it’s actually more of a dastardly advertising plan by Steve Jobs. (Tues. 10/10) [Merce Cunningham Dance Company]
• Andrew Sullivan will be at a Barnes and Noble this Thursday. Bring your blogger friends and re-live the Jim Kelly memories. (Thurs. 10/12) [NYM]
• If you have ear plugs strong enough to drown out the screaming tots (or you’re that weird adult who reads children’s books) you should see this. (Fri. 10/13) [NYM]
• Jon Stewart and his boys invite you to a fun-filled night. He might even scream some blabber about a saint giving head or something. (Sun. 10/15) [Ticket Master]
Back in the halcyon days of our youth, we had the glory days which were Napster. It was fun, easy, and it allowed us to acquire more useless music, soundbites, jingles, and remixes than we had any reason to need. We downloaded everything we could get our grubby little hands on — until the morbid day when “our friend†was kicked off Napster by Dr. Dre after downloading "I just wanna fuck".
Shortly after this incident, however, the lovable Napster itself went under. In 2003 Napster re-emerged as a legal subscription only music service, but nothing could stand up to the iTunes juggernaut. Today's news of the rumored Google/Napster union is the first real indication that a regime change may be afoot.
According to the New York Post, rather than starting its own music service (an idea that has been floating around for a while), Google is possibly looking to buy out Napster. (Perhaps Bear Sterns can chance its double-secret code name now.)
According to sources within the music industry, Google has been pushing to align with Napster — rather than build its own online music store — a sign that Google sees subscription services, rather than the individual download model that Apple's iTunes is built on, as the future of digital music.
Though there is little known beyond this, it has already boosted the downward-spiraling Napster service. And, unfortunately for Apple, this bite out of their biz is a bit of a change from Google’s earlier reports:
"We aren't building out a music store," [Marissa Mayer, vice president of search products and user experience at Google] said. "We are getting people to the iTunes store" and others.
It will be interesting to see how this all plays out, but we do know pissing off the The Steve Jobs is almost as risky as publishing pics of Jennifer Aniston nekked.
PLAY FOR NAPSTER [Tim Arango and Sam Gustin, New York Post]
Google whistles a new tune [Elinor Mills, CNet]
• The Wisconsin State Journal allows readers to pick the stories they want to see on the front page. Don’t be surprised if the next three days feature stories on Gisele Bunchen’s modeling career. [E & P]
• CBS and Warner Brothers plan to launch a new, fifth network, called CW. The best part? They’ll be pulling the WB. [NYP]
• Pixar officially sells out to Disney, making Steve Jobs the number one share holder of all the money in the world. [NYP]
• Ohh, maybe Jake Gyllenhaal will call President Bush immature. [Drudge Report]
• Mr. Abercrombie, Mike Jeffries, talks … a lot. Dude. [Salon]
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