A VALENTINE'S DAY SURVEY WORTH TAKING In terms of masturbating, most people think of Valentine's Day as any other day. [Fitted Sweatpants]
This just in: The internet is no longer just for geeks and pedophiles!*
Four out of five U.S. adults go online now, according to a new poll. The survey, which polled 2,062 adults in July and October, found that 79 percent of adults — about 178 million — go online, spending an average 11 hours a week on the Internet
Which, roughly translated, means virtually everyone has gone virtual! Well, except for that remaining twenty percent, a stubborn minority holdout group comprised primarily of Luddites, technophobes and people whose children have squandered their Ivy League educations to make a sub-par living writing about media (and celebrity) gossip.
*Cruel Intentions, anyone?
Yesterday, we shared the first installment of results from the Facebook survey.
And while we imagine you were relieved to find out which type of profile picture is the absolute loseriest (For the record, it's "Pretentious hipsters staring off into space with an arts/contemplative stare!") we think you'll be even more interested in the responses to our open call for your craziest Facebook related anecdotes.
There were, in fact, so many amazing responses that we've spent hours compiling them! (Hours that, should, in retrospect, have been spent "reading the newspaper," "interviewing potential sources" and "otherwise doing our jobs.") In the end, it was so hard to pick and choose just a few that we decided to categorize all our favorites into 7 separate—but equally entertaining—groups.
Last week, we asked you about Facebook, and you obliged us by answering in droves. Over 4200 of you procrastinated long enough to fill out our survey, and we've spent the past few days rifling through your responses and laughing inappropriately at your anecdotal grievances.
And while we're not yet ready to present our selection of Best Write-In Answers (although that's coming soon!) we are prepared to divulge the remainder of our multiple choice findings. After the jump, find out what we already know about your "secretive" social networking ways.
The weekend is almost upon us, which means in a few short minutes we'll all be off to eat, drink, be merry and try our damnedest to forget all about our dead-end jobs until Monday. Meanwhile, those of you still looking for ways to procrastinate still have one last chance to take our amazing Facebook survey. Thanks to your cooperation (and, presumably, your job-related boredom) we've already had well over 3,000 responses, so keep em' coming. And stay tuned for the results.
Are you bored? Hopelessly unproductive? Wishing you were on a social networking site instead of simply "working?" Well, now's your chance to tell us all about it!
We want to know how you really feel about Facebook, so take our fun-filled survey and let us know where you stand on annoying group photos, lying about your favorite movies and people who feel the overwhelming need to announce that they're "In a Relationship."
Editorial Director
