So Obama is going to be the first president that's going to have to relinquish his CrackBerry when entering the White House. Because, you know, no private correspondence or we end up with that whole Palin hacker mess all over again. And also the Presidential Privacy Act, yada yada yada. At least he's going to try to keep a laptop in the Oval Office.
I know that if someone took away my BlackBerry I would shit a brick(breaker), but the new president elect seems to be taking it all in stride, scaling down the number of messages he sends out, though not the ones he receives.
Which makes us wonder, what do Obama texts look like? No, not the ones that us plebes got, announcing his running mate, but his personal "Where you at's?"
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Corey Arcangel would be proud of all the bright young hackers who managed to turn the blinky/digital/8-years-too-late Esquire cover into a foretelling of the upcoming technopocalypse:
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Our grandfather would sometimes say, "Pretty soon, they're gonna plug the idiot box right into your head so you won't be able to escape it," and we'd go, "Alright, grandpa, whatever you say–now put your goddamn pants back on." It's terrifying how close to being right that wacky old man is getting.
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Barack Obama revolutionized the presidential race when his supporters took to the web in unprecedented numbers to promote his campaign. YouTube, which didn't exist for the 2004 elections, was an influential factor in favor of the Democratic nominee: Think of Obama Girl's popularity and will.i.am's Yes We Can as the campaign slogans of the new media, as well as the new candidate.
But as it turns out, even previously computer illiterate John McCain is more than a little web savvy; his official campaign website drew an average of 1.2 million unique users last month, while Obama's scraped barely more than that with 1.3.
So who's to blame for the popularity of the Straight Talk Express' dot com success? Why, those fickle, conniving women voters, of course:
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When two of the biggest search engines on the Internet start placing ads on each other's pages, people get a little squeamish at the thought of a dystopian future where there will just be one giant search engine and it is owned by Big Brother. Or something.
But things are a little more complicated for the companies in question. Yahoo saw lagging sales this quarter, while Google's reach only expanded. Without the boost from Google's ad sale dollars on Yahoo's engine, the smaller corporation might end up being eaten up by Microsoft. Bill Gates is no stranger to the Federal antitrust department himself, which regulates monopolies in business to make sure competition remains fair.
Unfortunate for Yahoo? Maybe. But worse for consumers, who, if Yahoo ends up going under or being bought out by Microsoft, could view this as the first sign that the current economic hardships are now hitting the 'net.
Luckily, we're all well versed on what to do if the bubble bursts again (go back to waiting tables).
Were you under the impression that fun, exciting wars were reserved for disputes between races, religions, tribes and nations? Wrong, silly. Computer companies can do battle also. Sure, it's even more stupid and offensive than regular combat, but at least the only casualties are money and dignity.
The image at right that looks like it was taken from an Apple ad was, in fact, taken from a Microsoft ad. Is your mind blown? That's the point. After pulling their ineffective, strange Seinfeld-Gates ads only two weeks after they premiered, Microsoft is striking again with a hipper, slicker attack. Sick of being pigeonholed as the computer for boring old turds, Microsoft is co-opting Apple's "nerd" character to do its PC bidding.
In a new 15-second spot, the "nerd" announces, "Hello. I'm a PC. And I've been made into a stereotype." Viewers are then introduced to a decidedly un-nerdy group of happy PC users, including children, Deepak Chopra and Pharrell Williams. Cool, right? Fuckin' Chopra, man.
Like a sleeping giant, Google continues to plot in the shadows, patiently awaiting the day when Microsoft and Apple kill each other and make room for its total world domination.
Pity the fool who gladly clicked the link in his inbox recently, hoping to catch some promised vids of Obama making sweet love in the Ukraine. The e-mail spam offering such destitute treats actually installed malware on your computer as soon as you clicked the link. A keystroke logger (which gives access to your passwords) and a remote application (they can control your computer from anywhere!) means that once you open Pandora's sex box, you are basically signing away your desire to live a identity-theft free life.
Which serves you right. What Obama does in the bedroom is between him, God, and the National Enquirer.
The latest attempt to cash in on an arbitrary Web 2.0 widget has finally arrived, meaning everyone can stop freaking out about Scrabulous' departure from Facebook. Lest you considered Drudge Report or Media Matters objective journalism, SpinSpotter is a new toolbar application for Firefox that alerts users whenever they stumble upon an article containing bias. Watch out, Atlantic magazine!
It's awesome that there now exists a way to objectively define the criteria that makes up slanted journalism. Political coverage problem solved.
No:
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Hoverboards, colonization on Mars, cars that run on love — out of all the promises late 80s/early 90s films made to its children, how come the only thing technology reaped is better CGI to portray things that we still don't have?
Well, wonder no more, as the future is officially here, albeit in a crappy, analog form. Esquire's digital cover, y'all:
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Apparently, not everyone is so keen on the growing number of major corporations who are using "nonsense" domain names or "familiar-but-misspelled words" as part of an effort to soften their online images. Take, for example, Anthony Shore, a seemingly ill-tempered man whom the Washington Post introduces as "the global of director of naming and writing" [Ed: Easiest job ever?] at Landor Associates.
"It just feels like they're throwing in the towel," complains the naming elitist. "It's easy to find an existing word and drop out a letter. It's easy to come up with arbitrary sounds, or to just add an 'oo.' It's far more difficult to come up with names with real words that have meanings and connections with people."
Last night, we braved the brisk autumn air for a downtown jaunt to Skylight (Hudson, between Broome and Spring) where we mingled with pretentious artsy types who feigned interest in everything from the high-ceilinged loft space to the delectable hors d'eouvres in order to give the (false) impression that they were there for some reason other than to pick up their complimentary Microsoft Zune.
And despite the fact that (a) most of the event's attendees looked like extras from the set of "Rent," (b) we overheard someone in line for the bar complain, "My stylist told me I have a small forehead!" and (c) a girl wearing a tin-foil colored hat had the audacity to audibly ridicule our plus-one's rather innocuous ballet flats, we actually managed to have ourselves a pretty good time.
This just in: The internet is no longer just for geeks and pedophiles!*
Four out of five U.S. adults go online now, according to a new poll. The survey, which polled 2,062 adults in July and October, found that 79 percent of adults — about 178 million — go online, spending an average 11 hours a week on the Internet
Which, roughly translated, means virtually everyone has gone virtual! Well, except for that remaining twenty percent, a stubborn minority holdout group comprised primarily of Luddites, technophobes and people whose children have squandered their Ivy League educations to make a sub-par living writing about media (and celebrity) gossip.
*Cruel Intentions, anyone?
• Aw, fake news anchor and all-around nice guy Jon Stewart has pledged to continue paying his writers' salaries for up to two weeks! At which point, they'll all be fired.
• Is creating a website to find a random girl on the 4 train creepy or endearing? And, more importantly, will it get you laid?
• When you're standing next to a drag queen, it's hard not to look manly. And yet, Carson Kressley pulls it off masterfully.
For all those find who find following their exes friends too time consuming, there’s good news. More than half of American phones can do the work for you.
GPS embedded technology makes it possible to know the exact location of contacts who also use have GPS embedded phones. The services are most popular with college kids, but Helio offers a program that lets small-business owners track the whereabouts of their employees.
Four years ago, no one would have predicted that posting private pictures online would be so widely enjoyed. Undoubtedly, eventually this technology will be both ubiquitous and well-liked. So while we can still say it, we will: this is creepy.
Being on call 24/7/365 is absolutely rattling. I feel like my laptop is eating my face, chomping away at my brain like Mrs. Pac Man on a tear.
The pace is absolutely relentless. You have to be out of the gate with your commentary fast — before you have a chance to full read or digest whatever it is you're commenting on. It's a little toxic, the news cycle now. It's making us all paranoid workaholics.
–Dan Savage, gay American sex advice columnist/media pundit, addressing the Internet's "most unnerving" effect on journalism and describing the potential downside of the information age.
**For more on Dan Savage, check out his interview with Queerty**
Although we can’t always shake the nasty habit of writing in the royal we, occasionally one of our editors decides to shake off the cloak of anonymity to write a short, pithy statement long, rambling diatribe about a topic of their choice. Today, Debbie Newman is that editor.
A few days ago, passages from Howard Kurtz's new book surfaced on the web, purporting to shed new light on what transpired behind the scenes at CBS headquarters less than twenty-four hours before the network ran its now-infamous National Guard story.
• Baby Zahara gives her parents a hand, officially becomes our favorite Jolie-Pitt.
• Finally, the general public heeds the warning of film critics across the country, consciously avoids seeing The Heartbreak Kid.
• Despite his early retirement, Michael Vick is still leaving football with a legacy. Of course, said "legacy" involves having his name be synonymous with animal cruelty, rather than a Superbowl dynasty.
• Google shatters the hopes/dreams of tech-nerds everywhere by announcing that they have no intention of building a phone.
• Not even Halle Berry can make morning sickness sexy.
• And last but not least, here's an artist's (slightly idealized) rendering of the Spice Girls' very own private jet.
[Image via INF Daily]
Thanks to those of you who have already written in to share your most memorable IT Guy experience. As for the rest of you, we thought we'd post this vintage "Nick Burns" SNL skit to try and jog your memories.
So go ahead and send us your stories. Truth is, we could use the distraction. This day is going by about as fast as an LC475 with a 32-bit processor!
Ever wondered about the birth of the emoticon? Of course you have! We always figured it was conceived in the back of a Toyota 4-by-4 after one too many brewsky's. But apparently, it was actually invented by some random Carnegie Mellon professor, during a discussion about the "limits of online humor" which was, contrary to what the subject matter denotes, devoid of any humor content whatsoever.
Fahlman posted the emoticon in a message to an online electronic bulletin board at 11:44 a.m. on September 19, 1982, during a discussion about the limits of online humor and how to denote comments meant to be taken lightly.
"I propose the following character sequence for joke markers: :-)," wrote Fahlman. "Read it sideways."
Unbelievable! Who knew there were online electronic bulletin boards in 1982??* In any event, we're sick and tired of emoticon guy grabbing all the credit. It's a computerized smiley face people, big frickin' deal. That said, we propose the inventor of the following character sequence: 58008 (read it upside down) be given the Congressional Medal of Honor.
*We thought Al Gore didn't invent the information superhighway until sometime in the early nineties. Confusing!
Tired of scrubbing dishes, stacking plates and having boring unfulfilling sex? Well lucky for you, Katherine Gray has designed this "combination wine goblets-plates-bowls-urinal-dildo kit."
The giftset (designed to provide "everything a couple would need") is ideal for both newlyweds and international superstars looking to spice up their sex lives without getting photographed holding a giant purple dildo. [via Gizmodo]
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