• While Daniel Craig may have nearly locked in the James Bond spot, it's not definite. What is definite? That he's making Sienna Miller scream louder than Jude Law ever could. [R&M]

• So much for Anna Anisimova's dreams of becoming a better looking Donald Trump. Her plans to trash Diane von Furstenberg's former West 12th Street HQ (for which she paid $23 million) to build a 150-foot condo complex got the kabash when the city council sided with the Greenwich Village Society for Historic Preservation, capping building heights at 100 feet. Though there's always a Hamptons summer to make headlines again. [Page Six]

• Katie Holmes' dad Martin is about as pleased with her as Brooke Shields is with Tom Cruise, sounding off on his daughter and movie star fiance about their shotgun wedding. Meanwhile, the duo's uber-handler Lee Ann DeVette is asking parishioners at Katie's families Christ the King Church not to speak to reporters. [The Scoop]

• Rush Limbaugh feels left out of yesterday's Top 10 Ubersexuals list, which explains his running his mouth over Bono landing the No. 1 slot despite Rush's claims of the U2 frontman having a mistress. [Page Six]

• Donny Deutsch finally admits what we've known all along. It's an "ego trip" to do his low rated CNBC show The Big Idea, and he wrote his latest book because "seeing your name on a book is really a big f - - - - - - deal." [Cindy Adams]

• Apprentice wanna-be Raj Bhakta is venturing into politics. The bow tie wearing, babe chasing former contestant is considering running for Congress in the 13 th District in Fort Washington. Even if The Donald won't endorse him, maybe he can meet some cute campaign workers to hit on. Or at least a receptionist. [R&M]

• Soho House got exciting again, in only for a brief moment. The members-only clubhouse played home to the New York Post's editor Col Allan breaking up a fight between his managing editor Colin Myler and an unnamed Australian journo. Someone must've mentioned the New York Daily News got So Duku.

• It's only been out for three weeks, but the buzz behind Men's Vogue is loud enough that Conde Nast is already looking for a full-time publisher. Not that they've even given the mag a full production schedule thumbs up just yet.

• Between America's Next Top Model and Everybody Hates Chris, UPN might be ready to take on NBC. The Peacock lost the ratings race to Chris Rock's new comedy, which trumped stumbling Joey.

• Martha Stewart threw two screening parties for her Apprentice and, like a good host, attended the shittier (staff) one so daughter Alexis and MSLO CEO Charles Koppelman could attend the luxe Bryant Park display.

• Yahoo continues bolstering its journalist staff, adding full-time financial scribes just after announcing it'd pay Kevin Sites to blog from war zones. And you thought Google was a big media company player.

• As Disney says goodbye to its chief of two decades Michael Eisner, staffers might not even notice unless they read the company newsletter.

• Rick Kaplan may have problems with his male staffers, but at least his female anchors are getting raves. Joe Pantoliano has fallen for Natalie Morales and proclaims "the girls are better on MSNBC," compared to FNC's blonde army.

• Vanity Fair's Michael Wolff asks whether the days of the broadsheet newspaper are numbered, which begs the question: Are the days of Paris Hilton magazine covers numbered?

• And don't forget folks, it's Ad Week here in NYC, which means gift bags will be padded with small tschotkes, not stainless steel grills.

• In Japan and South Africa, one Apprentice isn't enough — their versions of The Donald chose two winners.

• Oprah is back to featuring "regular" in her re-opened Book Club, reversing her earlier policy of only featuring classic authors. Because dead authors, contrary to popular belief, do not a good talk show guest make.

• CondeNet is planning a teen version of its Style.com, aptly named teen.style.com, which will make it so much easier for kids to test the non-existent limits on mommy's Centurion card.

• We hear cosmetics co. Rimmel is not actually going to drop Kate Moss as we suspected yesterday. But, well, we don't feel like confirming it one way or the other.

Intern Molly has been so enjoying watching reality TV shows for Jossip that, well, we just can't stop her now. Yesterday was a slam dunk duo with America's Next Top Model and The Apprentice: Martha Stewart. And with last night's premiere of Donald Trump's original The Apprentice, well, you knew it was coming.

The premiere of the fifth season of Donald Trump’s Apprentice is little more than an hour-long ad for crap-ass Bally’s Total Fitness. It’s sort of fitting, however, because the level of annoyance embodied by this cast is reminiscent of the humiliation by, embarrassment for and uncomfortable atmosphere created by Bally’s real employees.

Anyone who has ever been inside a Bally’s knows how crazy their staff members are. If you stop visiting the gym they will call you. At your home. Every week. (You know, not that I would ever stop going to the gym or anything.) This cast is sort of like that in their insistence that they are in the right place, deserving to win, and always doing the correct thing, when it is clear that it is so, so wrong for everyone involved.

We promise, Intern Molly will resume her Apprentice recap (and bench her Bally's rant) after the jump.

CONTINUED »

Last night's premiere of Martha Stewart's The Apprentice was so wonderfully delightful we had to cover it this morning, if only to call out WaPo on being completely out of the reality TV loop.

But you didn't think we'd let this milestone television event pass us by without a report from Intern Molly, did you? Good, because unlike Kimberly Stewart's bikini, she's got you covered.

As someone who has never watched an episode of Donald’s Apprentice, I probably shouldn’t be one to judge, but judge I will. The premiere of The Apprentice: Martha left me surprisingly unappalled, unnauseated, and even slightly impressed by her composure, which is just about the opposite of anything I’ve ever felt even thinking about Donald Trump.

Also, her theme song is “Sweet Dreams” by Annie Lennox.

And what's sweeter than that? Intern Molly will tell you, after the jump.

CONTINUED »

Last night's premiere of The Apprentice: Martha Stewart was filled with more children than we can usually stand, but "suspense" it was not. Well, at least not for us, but somehow the Washington Post managed to yank some falsehood out of it.

The big suspense last night was what buzz phrase Martha would use to kiss off losing contestants, a la Trump's "You're fired!" This may give some sense of the show's inherent level of suspense. Martha, of course, already had a motto, but "It's a good thing" would have been undescriptive of anything that transpired on the opening episode.

So, Martha went with "You just don't fit!," which conveys just the sort of haughtiness and condescension you'd expect from Frosty the Snow Woman.

Wait, that was the big suspense? The thing we figured out last month?

We were on the sofa's edge with our eye trained on Alexis waiting to see if she was going to hit on Carrie.

Is NBC kidding itself with this banner ad? Sure, we'd all like to imagine Martha Stewart dropped 30 pounds and looks like Diane Sawyer, but, well, she does not.

Even Donald Trump's hair looks more natural.

• Michael Jackson juror-cum-tell-all-er Ray Hultman is reneging on a decision — again. First he went back on his vote for acquittal to hype his upcoming trial tome and now he's trying to get out of that very book deal, claiming publisher Larry Garrison schemed them into a contract. He suing to escape, asking for damages for mental and emotional stress. And we'd like them too.

• Jann Wenner must be too busy handling the fall out from Gwen Cooper, which might explain why he doesn't have time to personally meet with Nicole Richie and her manager Alison Azoff.

• While Katie Holmes was Tom Cruise's fifth choice to play girlfriend, Martha Stewart was Donald Trump's third choice to star in an Apprentice opposite him. Ahead of Martha: Virgin's Richard Branson and dot com billionaire Mark Cuban. Unfortunately, those two both hosted their own reality shows.

• Model-actor-reality star Reichen Lehmkuhl has enough man in his life, thanks to boyfriend Louis Coraggio. Which is bad news for Clay Aiken, who should probably delete Reichen from his Razr.

• Some Hurricane Katrina victims are a little better off, thanks to those $2000 American Red Cross debit cards that can be used to purchase anything except alcohol, tobacco and firearms. Which leaves plenty of cash leftover for new $800 Louis Vuitton bags.

• While the U.N. tries to figure out what to do about African starvation, they're finding time to rule in Bill Cosby's favor over a Fat Albert domain name dispute. The comic won the right to fatalbert.org, which till now served as a porn-laced search engine.

• Not sure why Anna Wintour's friend Mohammed Al Fayed, owner of Harrods, would put his own daughter Camilla in harm's way, but he's managed to enlist her to be the Vogue editrix's personal intern this fall

• Conde Nast's business title might be nearly two years away, but it's already got Forbes owners worried enough to send out a missive to the entire biz staff.

• Jason Binn's luxe publishing house Niche Media unleashes its latest ode to wealth, Capitol File. The D.C. glossy weighs in at a heft 346 pages and probably weighs more than its cover subject, Ashley Judd.

• News Corp, fresh off its MySpace.com $580 million acquisition, continues its buying spree with a $650 million offer for Internet video gaming company IGN Entertainment.

• Men's Health will feature a disabled person for the first time on its November cover. Though don't expect David Zinczenko to pick a wheelchair-rolling ab maniac anytime soon — Cpl. Peter Sprenger "only" lost an eye and dons a patch.

• Apprentice no more! Bill Rancic, the winner from the show's first season, announced at a Malaysian conference that he's leaving The Donald next March to start his own business (and maybe have an office with a window?). But he's not totally severing ties, since he'll make guest appearances in Seasons 4 and 5 of the reality hit.

• NBC might be in fourth place in the ratings war but it's leading the buzz game when it comes to its fall season. At least that's based on what the society agenda-determining blogosphere is saying.

• eBay, already part owner of Craigslist, is looking to expand its one-of-the-people image with the purchase of VoIP company Skype. The price tag? An outrageous $2 to $3 billion, or as much as $5 billion.

• Today we celebrate NY1's 13th anniversary! Yey for local cable news actually worth watching more than its big brother cable nets.

Martha Stewart's Apprentice contestant cutting phrase:

'You don't fit in.'

That's a far cry from her requested "Your ass is grass" or Donald Trump's "You're fired," but it goes better with a chunky pearl necklace.

• Lindsay Lohan was once again spotted with Bruce Willis, giving more heat to the rumors that ex-wife Demi Moore isn't the only cradle robber.

• Lucyna Turyk-Wawrynowicz, the housekeeper of Robert De Niro's wife Grace Hightower, says she intentionally stole from those who were disrespectful, which is why she didn't lift anything from Isabella Rossellini.

• The Apprentice cruise has got former cast members of the reality show flummoxed by fans' obsessions with their lives. Us too, as they're 15 minutes ended at least 20 minutes ago.

• Kate Moss dropped $3 million on a new condo in L.A., rumored to be a way for her to ditch trouble-making boyfriend Pete Doherty.

• Speaking of ditching, Clay Aiken put his L.A. pad on the market as he returns home to North Carolina — where the closets are much darker.

• Robert Downey Jr. will be skipping this weekend's MTV VMA's to wed Susan Levin at Ron Perelman's estate in East Hampton.

• Kathy and Rick Hilton at Marquee in the wee hours of the night? Suddenly Butter seems hip again.

• Now you can wear The O.C., thanks to an exclusive deal with Amazon.com. So get to TJ with your tin of pills wearing a sequin tube top just like Marissa!