The Matt Grant edition of The Bachelor wasn’t any more entertaining than every other season, but the breakup is proving otherwise. Former fiance (and constant famewhore) Shayne Lamas told People magazine about her plans for the engagement ring, purchased by ABC: She’s keeping it “safe and clean and in a glass box — like a glass slipper.” Also? Matt is totally on board with the idea and even “wants to come over and look at it.”
Naturally, the magazine then got a response from Matt, because this is middle school and two adults can’t just decide what to do with a piece of jewelry without using the media as a go-between. And, of course, Matt says he never spoke with Shayne about the subject.
My entire life I've treated women right. I've learned from my parents how to treat a woman. I'm a Midwestern boy. My dad still holds my mom's hand and opens doors for her, and I think a woman should be treated that way. If a woman doesn't want to be treated that way, that's fine, it's her prerogative. But if she wants to be treated that way—with respect and with dignity—and she's not, then I guarantee you there's something that she's doing to prevent herself from being treated that way.
-Dr. Travis Stork, former Bachelor, "The Ladies' Man," Radar Online
• Even the bachelor on The Bachelor doesn't buy that one man choosing from 25 desperate women is a recipe for longlasting love. Much like the 90210 when Kelly Taylor "chooses herself" over a relationship with rivaling suitors Dylan and Brandon, America's most eligible suitor chooses…no one. And saves himself a bundle on roses (and a lifetime of regret) in the process.
• Neil Diamond ruins "Sweet Caroline" for Boston Red Sox fans by admitting the song was really about Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg's over-privileged youth.
Get you affidavit puns ready: The Bachelor is recruiting New York lawyers for the upcoming of season the show. They directors are looking for someone "who is successful, good-looking, has an out-going personality, is ready to settle down, is around 6 ft tall and, usually, is between 27 to 36 years of age."
News flash to ABC: Minus the rose ceremony, every tall, attractive New York lawyer is already playing his own version of The Bachelor at home.
What would we expect to find at an audition for ABC's The Bachelor? Conservatively dressed women? Check. A producer who doesn't actually watch the show? Check.
And don't forget the gaggle of female reporters (Kate Maire from the East Hampton Star, Debbie Tuma of the New York Daily News, and the New York Observer's Rebecca Dana) fighting for a story.
Yes, these ladies all showed up to The Bachelor auditions to churn out stories on the trials and tribulations of trying to land on a reality show and meet a guy. Though, there was also mention of an unnamed Post staffer, who seemed to actually be trying out. (Oh, Paula say it ain't so!)
Ms. Maire wondered if the interviewers could spot the journalists. “How many times do they hear, ‘I’m a writer’?†she said. “Or, ‘I was an English major in college.’â€
It is our deepest hope they hear "Pharmaceuticals sales rep" more often than "writer." If not, then we all just look really deperate. Then again, after Candace Bushnell and Maureen Dowd, we guess it doesn't get much worse.
Single Female Reporters Seek Prince [Rebecca Dana, New York Observer]
