Having run a two-week feature on Bonnie Fuller's book The Joys Of Much Too Much (plus 27 other words) that just hit store shelves, we consider ourselves experts on the joys of much too much. In fact, one half of Jossip's editor team even read the book. All of it. And took notes. Lots of them.

So when yesterday evening rolled around, we knew we'd have to hit up Core Club for Bonnie's official book party. Frankly, she owes us, and we intended to collect.

First, let's just get the celebrity factor out of the way: As expected, there weren't any starlets prancing to the bathroom. Well, unless you count an overly engaged Joe Dolce, David Pecker suspiciously lugging around a duffle bag, and Cargo exile Ariel Foxman running around to many a dark corner (looking for a job? "On his knees?" asked one) as celeb sightings. (Around here, actually, we do.) But what can you expect of a party celebrating the woman who regularly trashes the A- thru C-list? Surely Jessica Simpson has someone else's ass to lick at the Mercer.

Bonnie, we've gotta say, looked ravishing in Versace — a feat we admire even more after learning she spent the past week autographing hundreds of copies of her book for the gift bags. (We checked with her assistant Taryn, who assures us it's Bonnie's sig, and not some overworked flack's, that's on all of them.)

When we finally took our turn on the Fuller Ferris Wheel, we had but one question we wanted answered before our exit: Was New York magazine correct is placing Brangelina's baby photos at the top of the paparazzi totem poll, above even TomKat's?

"Abso-fucking-lutely." (Naturally, we're paraphrasing. Everybody knows Bonnie doesn't swear.)

Related: All The Joys Of Much Too Much coverage

In Eating Humble Pie, Even at the Ritz, Bonnie Fuller's second to last chapter of her harrowing tales, we learn that even Bonnie has had her share of troubles and woes in this topsy-turvy industry. Ok, fine, we already knew that. What we didn't know is that at one point, even she believed all the door to the mag world were closed. (Grab your tissues.)

Then, Jann Wenner came along, scooped her up, threw her a fabulous party, thereby re-launching her career.

Jann Wenner threw a fabulous party at the Four Seasons here in New York for me; he was very generous. He invited the other editors in chief and publishers of all the other big magazines and newspapers. I remember looking around and thinking, just a year earlier, I had been let go from my previous position. In twelves months I'd gone from the lowest point to the pinnacle.

Of course, she jumped ship for David Pecker's $3 million a year as soon as Jann turned his back, but that's neither here nor there.

As we wrap up our affair with Bonnie Fuller's book, we are left with a feeling of hope. Hope that someday, no matter how many interviews we will botch, or Condes we piss off, maybe — just maybe — we will be invited to a Jann Wenner party.

And at that party, they will be serving big enchiladas and humble pie, and giving us bloggers gift bags full of thongs, tampons, razors, and ski jackets. And of course, copies of Star. (Hey, its our fantasy, we can put whatever tabloid with whichever publisher we want.)

Until then, we will simply say, "thank you Bonnie Fuller's book." Thank you for being such an inspiring, motivating, and ultimately, extremely useful guide to becoming the most gossiped about Editor in Chief ever. We hope you all were inspired, too, to achieve somthing. Or, at least you were entertained in all your working more but producing less activities.

It's no secret that the media loves to hate them some Bonnie Fuller. It's so easy not to like the sucessful people in life who don't coddle others or let anyone hold them back.

Example: after reading our New York magazine paper edition yesterday (when the actual mag finally arrived) we saw what to some would be the equivalent of social suicide: Bonnie's book on the lowest possible cultural point of the approval matrix! Gasp!

Well, chapter 6, You Can't Be Great for Everyone: Sticking to Your Mission tells other women who aspire to be at the top how to handle shit like that.

Girls are still raised to be "nice." When you get into the work world, you still want to be liked. The truth is that it's more important to be a good person than to be a good girl — to be someone who will do what she thinks is the right thing even if it doesn't result in instant popularity with peers. You can't please all of the people all of the time, nor should you aim to.

I get people riled up … When you're changing a product, sometimes you have to change the staff producing that product. I was forced to let a lot of people go, which is never a pleasant task. But you've got your mission, and you have to stick to it.

And if your mission is to get that picture of Gwyneth Paltrow on the cover, you can't flinch if she calls you the devil. You can't care when an ex-assistant tells Vanity Fair that she cleaned out your breast pumps — you have a mission.

And in order to accomplish that mission, you might consider picking up a bullet-proof breast on that Duane Reade tampon/thong run.

When you are jamming 5 things into every minute of your life, things are bound to get a bit hectic. Nobody knows this better than Bonnie Fuller, editorial director of Star magazine and uber-mother of four.

So, now that you got your job, and had your baby, you are probably too busy not to live out of your handbag and office desk drawer. Bon understands, and she has some tips on how to look pulled together, even when you're thong is riding up your butt and your breath smells like enchiladas.

To keep those all-important outward appearances up, I find it helpful to keep a stash of things in my desk at the office, not just a pair of backup shoes. For instance I have

Simple black V-neck T-shirt or sweater
Thong
Toothbrush and dental floss
Tape and safety pins
Extra pair of black sling-backs
Razor and blades
Small hand mirror
Breath mints
Surplus tampons and pads
Hand towel
Comfortable flats and a pair of athletic shoes and socks
Umbrella
Flashlight and batteries
Band-Aids and Advil

So, go on, get on it. Run over to Duane Reade, grab an umbrella and some tampons, and start living your best life. (Who know PMS and rain could be so rewarding?) Oh, and don't forget to hire someone to carry that 80 pound purse for you on your way back to the office.

Finally, the chapter we've been waiting for since discovering Bonnie Fuller's book is here. Check Your Lettuce in the Coat Room: How to Manage Your Happily Unbalanced Life, is all about how to do it all. And even though we are starting to worry that maybe Bonnie's advice is to embrace our inner raving lunatic, it does make it that much easier for us to follow.

There is nothing wrong with being obsessive. What would have been acccomplished in the world — medical brak-throughs, great inventions — without the power of obsession? The joys that both my work and family bring me fully justify the focus I place on each of them. There is nothing ese I want to devote my time to. As far as I'm concerned, hobbies are overrated, as is that much-discussed condition known as "being well-rounded."

We are still scouring the pages for what exactly the lettuce and the coat room represent, but we bet it's something almost as great as that big enchilada some call life.

We told you last week that tackling the "Big Enchilada" chapter was going to be tough. After combing through most of the inspiration and advice, however, one passage in particular stuck out for us. According to Bonnie Fuller, a passion for work comes first, and love and family get slowly layered into the enchilada of life after that.

But, how, how, how do we find this man that will bless us with babies? New York magazine may tell you to get fat, or chase your dreams, or hook up with some cute arty types. But Bon says, "hunt him down." Especially if you ever want kids.

Obviously it makes sense to try to have children at the most fertile time in your life, your early twenties and into your thirties. But for many of us, that isn't possible. Still, one of the most important lessons I would pass on to the next generation is heed your biological clock. Try not to wait until your late thirties or early forties to start having children if you want them. Hunt for a man as hard as you would for a job, if having children is a top priority for you.

See why this book is so important? Not only did Bonnie give assistant editors everywhere reason to start their maternity leave, but she also explained why Jennifer Aniston is so unhappy all the time.

Chapter four of Bonnie Fuller's book is titled, Don't Put Off Real Life: The Joys of Finding the Love of Your Life and Having Children. We are going to need at least a week on this one, because its complexity is sure to be so rewarding. Today, we only got through the first page of the chapter before needing to step away and contemplate.

By now you may be wondering: Is Bonnie Fuller all about career? Where did she fit in the husband, not to mention the four children? Isn't' this book about having the most inclusive—if untidy—life possible? Yes, it is. And every day you see another magazine article, or feature on a TV newsmagazine show, questioning the wisdom of women trying to have the whole enchilada:

We haven't turned the page yet, because we've been overwhelmingly occupied with trying to find out what exactly a "newsmagazine show" is and ordering in Mexican food.

Yesterday, we tackled just one small bit of Bonnie Fuller's advice from chapter three, Ignore the Odds: Find Your Passion, and Go For It!

There is so much advice and inspiration in this chapter, we can barely contain ourselves. Then, the guys over at City Paper reminded us that telling your paper to "eat a bag of cocks" might get you fired. We found that so helpful!

So, combined with Bon's advice and we have faith that you can land that Cosmopolitan closet person job. Carefully regard these first five "On-the-Job Dos and Don’ts" here, as well as the zillions more that can't fit on this page, after the jump.

Rule No. 1: Know that a job is not a right, it’s a privilege
Rule No. 2: Avoid the office “black hole”
Rule No. 3: Keep a good attitude
Rule No. 4: Show loyalty to your boss
Rule No. 5: Avoid bad-mouth blogging and other instant career derailers

CONTINUED »

How does the Editorial Director of American Media feel about starting a blog where you bitch about your boss? Hmm, file that under the "bad idea" category. Today's quote is more advice than inspiration, but still, advice that should be taken to heart.

It seems to me that complaining about you boss, or the company where you work, on Internet blogs is plainly a bad idea, as is sending poison e-mail on these topics. With one false click of a Send button, or one acid remark casually inserted into a blog posting, you are making enemies and burning bridges right, left, and center. On the Internet nothing is private.

What was she thinking? Negative blogging about your boss and the place you work is a sign of terminal disloyalty and will be treated as such.

Listen to Bonnie Fuller. Don't start a blog, get fired, and be shunned from the industry forever. Send your anonymous tips about your EICs and crazy fashion editors to Jossip. We'll keep your secrets safe forever and ever.

And now, more words of wisdom from the inspiring book of Bonnie Fuller. Today's quote is from chapter one, Never Face the Facts.

We all have those nagging doubts, those little voices in our heads that tell us, "You're nuts, you'll never even make it close to the top, you're not worthy."

Start tuning them out, literally. These are voices you know better than to listen to. Every time the negative voices start, you have to consciously tell yourself, "No-no-no, I'm not listening; I'm going to think about something else," or turn on the TV, or start reading a book, or do some work, or make a phone call.

Just don't call that lover who wants to kick you. Especially today.

No matter what your opinion of Bonnie Fuller may be, there is no denying she has turned her life into a success story. Styling up YM, sexing up Glamour, and discovering the celebrity gossip whore in all of us, Bonnie has single-handedly reshaped magazine culture as we know it.

How does she balance four kids, a husband, 5 am work-outs at Radu, a 70-hour-work week, and still manage to be really happy? We found out all the secrets after reading her book, The Joys of Much Too Much, Go for the Big Life — the Great Career, the Perfect Guy, and Everything Else You've Ever Wanted (Even If You're Afraid you Don't Have what it Takes). And we really felt that it could inspire you all as much as it inspired us.

Everyday (for we don't know how long) Jossip is going to bring you a Fullerism from Bonnie's book, with the hopes of inspiring you to become a really successful magazine editor and remembering us in five years when nobody else will hire us. From the introduction, we bring you today's first Fullerism.

"After years of trying to make a living at something I love while raising a family, I've come to the conclusion that a jam-packed, maxed-out, full-to-the-very-top existence is the secret to an insanely happy life, no matter what those odes to "simplicity" say to the contrary.

I've pretty much written off the possibility of ever having peace and quiet in my life. I guess that somewhere along the line I made the decision that I'd rather lead a life that's a blur than one that's a bore."

Today, instead of going crazy, aim for being crazy happy. Just don't get all Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes on the cover of Star crazy, or nobody will ever hire you again.