If the Super Bowl taught us anything, it’s that vague racism doesn't sell. But the other lesson would be that Betas and the new Alphas, as proved by Eli Manning outperforming Tom Brady.

And the Times, ever on the pulse of America, has a profile of the three Betas who produce the web show We Need Girlfriends.

Over the course of the piece, the three men, Steve Tsapelas, Brian Amyot and Angel Acevedo come off as endearingly insecure and socially awkward. But before you send a letter to their MySpace page offering to fill the role asked for in the show’s title, they actually don’t need girlfriends. All three of them are in happy relationships. Whatever, what is happiness anyway? Of course, the Times waits until the end of the piece to break your heart. Typical.

So a bunch of studies came out on internet personas, which seems like it would be really interesting. Unfortunately, if you've ever dated anyone from Match.com, you know more than the scientists do. And even more unfortunately, the Times reporter covering these studies has already done our job by being snarky about the results:

The scholars found it common for online daters to fudge their age or weight, or to post photographs that were five years old. Also, the world is round and the chemical symbol for water is H2O.

Har, har. You should consider a career online.

Still, the internet is interesting. And so is social networking and lying. So we decided to examine our own Facebook profile to separate the web fact from the web fiction.

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Breaking, and by breaking, we don't mean Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant breaking. This is much more important and interesting than that.

All those calories you think you're burning off at the gym, well, that's a lie. To be honest, we always had our doubts that doing the elliptical while watching Deal Or No Deal had any health benefit.

Now our suspicions have been confirmed by no greater source than the New York Times:

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