Live from New York, it's the election! Except, it's not. This shot, snapped by a reader strolling through Times Square today, shows that even with its (abysmal) hologram technology, CNN is helpless in to rein in rogue LCD billboards.
Sure, television networks know that come November 4th they'll be out of cash and out of ideas, but until then at least one station plans on having a grand old end-of-the-world time:
On election night, ABC News will transform Times Square into an outdoor global viewing event, with thousands of people watching ABC News coverage of real time election results on three iconic screens — ABC's Super Sign, the enormous digital facade of NASDAQ and the 23-story high Reuters sign.
Cramazing! But couldn't ABC gone in on it with MSNBC, and Fox News, so from left to right screens you get, "Obama is winning" to "Obama is ahead" to "Ohio and Florida still too close to call."
Buy Spam! We're now so poor that the devices we've created to tally just how poor we are don't work anymore.
The National Debt Clock, which has glared over the filthy den of capitalism that is Times Square since 1989, is now out of digits to record the ever increasing figure of money we owe to China, who makes dissenters disappear. Next year, the Durst Organization (no relation to Fred) plans to add two more digit places to the clock, thus allowing it to track debt up to – and this is not a joke – A QUADRILLION DOLLARS.
How poor are we? We're so poor that the words used to describe how poor we are sound fake!
In New York, if the criminals aren't kicking your ass and taking your wallet, the businessmen are, and they're doing it while staying well within their legal rights. That's why New Yorkers looking for real estate have learned to eat shit and like it.
Not even very rich and powerful Manhattan-based companies are above getting jacked. Take, for instance, Viacom, which is said to be renewing its lease at 1515 Broadway when it expires in 2010, even though they won't even be broadcasting TRL, which is what made the space so preferable to begin with. Says Greg Hughes, CFO for New York City's largest commercial landlord SL Green, Viacom will probably continue to rent most or all of the 1.5 million square feet they do at the horrendous Times Square location for the new price of $85 per square foot, up from the $50 per square foot it's currently paying.
Too lazy to do the math? We gotcha covered: Starting in 2010, Viacom will be spending about $128 million per year to rent space in one of the ugliest buildings on one of the ugliest streets in the world.
We are no longer shocked at how crappy MTV has become.
As if Times Square wasn't already enough of a glowing, shimmering paragon of excess, with its corporate sponsorships and cheesy chain restaurants, for six days in October (2nd-7th), it's going to become an outsized rec room for eight saddies out to break the record for most consecutive hours spent watching movies.
Yes, the sin of sloth is an actual goal for eight very lonely, very talentless people, all of whom will be subjected to weird testing throughout the 56 movie marathon (titles TBD) to ensure they are in fact watching the films and not just staring at the screen.
Ashish Sharma, who holds the current, shameful record of 120 hours and 23 minutes of movie watching, will be flying over from India in an attempt to maintain his title and win the grand prize: $10,000 and a lifetime subscription to Netflix.
That's good news for the rest of us, as a never ending supply of movies is sure to keep whoever is crowned King Lazy Rat Bastard out of the gene pool for good.
"Last month, VW unveiled a key element in the buzz-building campaign, a 3,685-square-foot interactive billboard in New York's Times Square. It pictures the bug parked behind his microphone, alongside the headline 'The people want their voice to be heard.' VW is the first brand to utilize the interactive technology of the ABC SuperSign, which allows a two-way dialogue with passersby via SMS. Using their cell phones, pedestrians text their yes or no responses to the poll questions appearing on the sign, and through WAP technology, their texted votes are recorded live on a news ticker.
"After any poll reaches 1,000 votes, the results are displayed via Web banners using advanced keyword tagging to match up relevant content. For example, an ad on an article page about the Democratic primaries uses keyword targeting to ensure the most relevant user-generated statement is displayed. The polling questions range from philosophical queries such as 'Do you want to live forever?' to the topical such as 'Do you want to know the truth behind gas prices?'" [Adweek]
The Thomson Corporation, the finance-health-research info mega company, is quite proud of its just-completed $16 billion takeover of news giant Reuters. That's why it's spending another large sum to throw the new name of its company, Thomson Reuters, in your face: It's taking over subway stations in New York, Toronto, and London, as well as the buildings of the stock exchanges there. And if you make your way through Times Square today, perhaps you'll catch even more inundation as the digital displays force the logo upon you. This will be different than your normal Times Square, where you can at least eat, drink, or drive the usual marketing messages.
EVEN COWBOYS GET THE BLUES The Naked Cowboy is suing Mars for their "Naked M&M" ad in Times Square. The real cowboy claims the anthropomorphic one is infringing on his trademark of making an ass of himself in Times Square. He wants $6 million, but would probably settle for much, much less. As the tourists say, "Only in New York!" [Gothamist]
What the hell is this thing? Hint: It's not a prop from Cloverfield. CONTINUED »
Great news, everyone. If you thought the internet was just for porn and stalking the people who rejected you in middle school, you are wrong. Dead wrong.
Now you can write your personal message for the New Year on the confetti dropped in Times Square. Through the magic of technology, your hope of peace on earth can become a piece of trash in the Center of Universe.
Also, did you know you can email a prayer to the Western Wall?
2008 is going to be so hot.
[Photo Credit: M3Li55@ via Flickr]
Since the peep shows left midtown, the public has been clamoring for more un-sexy nakedness in Times Square. And wackos have answered that call.
Last night, a 44-year old man from White Plains ran through Times Square nude. This streaking comes only two weeks after a Greenpoint resident tried to get into the Times Square Olive Garden without a reservation or any clothes on.
Streaking is so passé; even people from Westchester are doing it now.
[Photo Credit: New York Post]
Josh Drimmer, a Yale graduate, Greenpoint resident and author of a baseball blog, strolled around Times Square naked yesterday. Incidentally, he was the only naked show in town—the Naked Cowboy was taking the day off.
He started off Red Hot Chili Peppers style, wearing a black sock, but soon ditched it. He went to the Times Square Olive Garden, where he was refused service. After that, he tried to get into Tad’s Steakhouse. Eventually, the police captured him and took him to Bellevue Hospital.
The grossest part of the story is that he wasn’t even wearing shoes when he walked into Olive Garden. That place is dirty.
[NYP]
IHOP is in talks to open a location on 45th and Broadway. Anything to make those tourists feel at home! [NYP]
• Times Square without the sex shops, prostitutes and now…cars? Jeez, next thing you know, they'll be outlawing tourists.
• Ahhhh, there's nothing quite like riding your motor scooter down the Coney Island boardwalk…and then hitting one of those loose boards, and falling flat on a rusty nail and/or syringe.
• And if the rusty nails don't kill you, maybe a runaway oil tanker will.
• Turns there are perks for keeping your virginity. Oh no wait, it's just crappy play tickets.
How do you get non-geeks to talk about your awesome new chipset architecture? By playing into their vanity, that's how.
Intel wants everyone to multiply this holiday season — in the middle of Times Square.
The chip giant has taken over Times Square's bookend video billboards — the Reuters and Nasdaq signs — and is allowing people to upload photos of themselves that will appear sometime before the end of the campaign on Jan. 7. Each photo first appears as one image and then begins to multiply into hundreds of smaller ones in a display that lasts about a minute.
"'Multiply' is now our overall campaign for all we do at Intel," said Thom Campbell, Intel senior media manager. "Our mission is to manifest 'multiply' in media."
Their mission is also to create even more obnoxious crowds in front of MTV's studios. At least they'll succeed in one regard.
We imagine a huge spiral staircase leading to nowhere could create a problem (should we say solution?) for the thousands of suicidal New Yorkers. Especially since it will be in Times Square.
Our suggestion? If they just have a huge boom box playing Cher's "Believe" up on the edge of nowhere, maybe fewer people will be nose diving onto the Conde Naster's towncars?
Times Square renovation plans call for giant staircase to nowhere [Daily News]
• Donald Trump, not content with having a reality show and a magazine tout his ego, now wants to get into TV shopping. Prepare for lots of gold chyrons. [WSJ]
• Tonight, you might actually have an excuse to watch Donny Deutsch's CNBC show. He's announcing I Want Media's Media Person of the Year, a feat that could bring total viewership up to 20, maybe 24 people. [I Want Media]
• Thanks to Judith Miller, is Arthur Sulzberger Jr. the new Howell Raines? Leave it to Seth Mnookin to overanalyze. [Lowdown]
• The U.S. military admits to paying for editorial in Iraqi newspapers, and suddenly Armstrong Williams doesn't look so bad. [NYT]
• Richard Branson is taking on Rupert Murdoch, while Rupert Murdoch is taking on Craig Newmark. [Daily Telegraph]
• Lewis Lapham has been hanging around Harper's only to, ahem, harp on President Bush. [NY Mag]
• For four seconds, you too can be Time's Person of the Year. [Page Six]
Last week's Calvin Klein live billboard freakfest in Times Square was just one of a series of out-of-the-box marketing gimmicks, the New York Post tells us. And we're about to see quite a few more, including Target's attempt to bring the catwalk to the sides of buildings.
But clothier Esprit, apparently, called dibs on this stunt first.
Earlier this week, cheap-and-chic superstore Target presented New York's first "vertical fashion show." Instead of strolling down a horizontal catwalk, model/acrobats attached to harnesses appeared to dance down the face of Rockefeller Center.
When German clothing company Esprit heard about it, executives were supposedly less than pleased.
Esprit, which is making a push in New York with four new stores, says it has been planning not one but six vertical runways down the sides of the Time Warner Center scheduled for early September.
Esprit is blaming its former marketing company for giving Target the idea. But we're going to go ahead and place the blame on gravity for ensuring plenty of Flickr-enabled gawkers.
Morgan Stanley shut off its Times Square stock ticker for the first time ever in an effort to save power and stave off further electricity shortages in the city.
Pleasant side-effect: Fewer gawking tourists. We've never loved the stock market so much.
