• A security supervisor at Catfish Bend Casinos in Iowa was fired for putting up the Dilbert cartoon above. He wasn't a "team player." Apparently at Catfish Ben Casinos, watching security footage to see who put up an innocuous cartoon is a team player move.

• Being a role model is great and all, but Jack Mackenroth would rather not have HIV.

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• Angelina Jolie takes priority over U.S. Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito? Yeah, we can't even feign surprise.

• Because you've always wondered what Paris Hilton would look like dead. And because this way, nobody has to go to prison.

• Rachael Ray to explain how Dunkin' Donuts are an essential part of the food chain.

• Tobey Maguire's fiance wears toilet paper to the premiere of Spiderman 3, simultaneously pisses off Sheryl Crowe and Anna Wintour.

• We already know Lindsay Lohan likes having her picture taken. But who knew she liked to flounce around in her brassiere? Next up for Linds: an all-Victoria's Secret model sleepover complete with lingerie pillow fight.

• Borat had it coming.

• Jude Law and Sienna Miller end things, once again. An insider says the last straw was a debate over Pittsburgh.

• Tobey Maguire is a new dad, and Us claims the exclusive. People and Star weigh in with "confirmations."

• Page Six spots Beyonce and Jay-Z in South Africa. Rush & Molloy finds them in Atlantic City.

• TomKat hits Conde Nast's Black Ball, mingles with Tom Freston, skims 10 percent off donations for Scientology.

• Meanwhile, Brooke Shields is said to have been invited to the couple's Nov. 18 nuptials.

• Alan Iverson: Good lay.

• Not much faith in Michael Jackson actually making it to the World Music Awards. Though some 200 tickets he'd set aside have been stolen by hackers.

&bull Tobey Maguire is fine lounging at the poker table attempting to pocket some cash, but get that camera out of his face until he's dropped a few pounds. Step one: Getting your ass away from the poker table.

• Talent rep agency CAA continues its agent raid, this time snatching up the reps of Dave Chappelle and Will Ferrell from United Talent Agency.

• Look for Cameron Diaz in the witness chair, as she's expected to testify against John Rutter, who tried selling those topless photos of Diaz to the highest bidder back in 2003.

• Michael Jackson may be out of the country, but he continues to get sued here at home. His latest legal battle is led by Prescient Acquisition Group, which claims it helped Jacko hold on to the Beatles catalog while refinancing his debt .. and has yet to be paid $48 million for its troubles.

• Jared Leto, how you make us so proud with your tripod. Ashley Olsen must be just as pleased.