Hey, William and Harry? Did you know you were famous? Like, even people on this side of the Atlantic know who you are? Tumultuous news, we know. Thank god Matt Lauer is there to walk you through it.
You know Matt Lauer, don't you? He's the serious journalist who would never stoop so low as to conduct a cheap celebrity interview. Except here. Oh, and in the above.
Epilepsy sufferers, as we all know, are great at involuntarily shaking around when they're in the midst of an epileptic fit. But the rest of the time, they could sure stand to loosen up!
At least that's what Al Roker has learned, after his "haha, you've got epilepsy!" jokes last week inspired a wholly unexpected backlash.
"Remember that controversial Olympic logo for the 2012 Olympics in London? Some folks have complained that the campaign actually sent them into epileptic seizures," Roker said on Thursday's show.
"Well, we asked you to weigh in on our Web site in an informal poll; those of you who could get up off the floor after shaking around were able to actually log in . . . "
The next day, Roker apologized on the air, saying, "We were joking about the logo - not about epilepsy. If anybody was offended, I heartily and really humbly apologize."
Roker then clarified that he was laughing with epilepsy, and not at epilepsy, adding, "And, if you don't like it, why don't you suddenly—and without warning—lose consciousness, fall to the floor, froth at the mouth, and rhythmically jerk your extremities about it?"
After some 50 years in the TV business, Bob Barker is done wittit. Sure, that CBS special last month may have made you think he retired his The Price Is Right gig, but no: yesterday, in fact, was his last day. Which meant today it was time to make the press rounds, which included Ann Curry's overzealous expressions while listening to him on speaker phone.
• Verbal grudge-match heats up between staffers at the Today show and Good Morning America, yielding doozies such as "Gay-MA" and "Today? More like 'Yesterday.'" Zing!
• Scooter Libby might actually go to prison. Fortunately for him, Paris has made it "all the rage."
• Did Departures magazine play too prominent a role in the episode leading up to The Sopranos' departure?
• 'Eric Alterman is the aging-lefty Lindsay Lohan!' proclaims Lloyd Grove in New York magazine. And here we thought Lloyd was an aging-lefty unemployed gossip gossip columnist.
• Boston Globe rips Conservapedia a new one.
• Hillary Clinton stops by Skadden Arps. Relax, it was nothing litigious—she was probably just picking up her latest truckload of campaign donations.
Yesterday, Matt Lauer committed a car-interview faux pas when he neglected to wear a seatbelt while interviewing Mitt Romney during Today's "On The Trail" segment. In fact, neither men buckled up, possibly because the SUV in which the interview took place was not outfitted with one of those annoying celebrity infomercials ("We're ready to rummmmmmmmble….for safety!") Giuliani implemented to protect the citizens of New York piss the hell out of New York cab drivers.
And, as TVNewswer points out, Lauer's oversight was particularly noteworthy given that he'd interviewed fellow seatbelt-hater Governor Corzine only a few weeks back.
The website reports:
"After the piece aired this morning, Lauer told his audience that even though New Hampshire doesn't have a mandatory seat belt law, he set the wrong example by not wearing one," the AP notes. "The Romney campaign issued a statement with a similar apology…"
Meanwhile, after being reminded that he was a role model for America's youth,* Lauer was also censured for his prematurely thinning hair, his early-stage love handles and his penchant for telling poop stories.
*Who never miss an episode of Today!
• A jury of Peter Braunstein's peers rejected his mental insanity plea and convicted him on charges stemming from the 2005 Halloween attack. Jurors cited Braunstein's meticulous premeditation and overpowering urge to kill Vogue editrix Anna Wintour as evidence that he was, in fact, fit to stand trial.
• Meanwhile, attractive CNN wannabes are lining up in hopes of nabbing Paula Zahn's coveted anchor spot. But we're not ready to say goodbye to Paula yet. After all, who could predicted this?
• One year and 25 operations after being injured in Iraq, CBS news correspondent Kim Dozier is finally ready to tell her story. Which is both amazingly empowering and exceedingly difficult to turn into a punchline.
• The Today show's new "Today On The Trail" feature is remarkably similar to This Week with George Stephanopoulos' award-winning "On The Trail" feature. Then again, it's probably just an unfortunate coincidence.
• Scarlett Johansson channels Grace Kelly and Marilyn Monroe in the new Louis Vuitton campaign, reminds us that "curvy physique" is apparently synonymous to "Size two."
Arguably, if it weren't for the Today show, we might not know all that much about KT Tunstall. The NBC morning show, which reaches nearly 6 million people everyday, has the power to launch and sustain music careers, argues Billboard's Michael Paoletta. That's why you see everyone from Keith Urban to the American Idol kids on there. And if god hates you enough, you're gonna see Halle Berry booked on there, too.
"But there is a difference between who's watching these shows and what kind of artists have the most impact," Warner Bros. Records Executive Vice President Diarmuid Quinn says. "When artists like Michael Buble and Josh Groban appear, we see tangible and readable results, with an immediate impact on sales. The female audience is more reactive than the male demo."
Also, dudes aren't that into Michael Buble or Josh Groban. Unless they're the type of dudes reading Queerty. Which also explains tomorrow's performance by the cast of Broadway's Legally Blonde.
We don't always read Page Six because we want to. Sometimes, we read it because we have to. And today, the Sixers went ahead and told us something about Katie Couric we really would have preferred not to know.
Couric tells More magazine, "At 'Today,' I seemed to be enjoying myself, I seemed to be fun-loving. 'We really liked her in the morning' - that's what the old viewers say. But now - well, they seem to think it's like I've had a lobotomy or a personality change." Hey, Katie's still fun-loving - More reports her cellphone rings to the tune of the Pussycat Dolls' sexually charged hit with the lyrics, "Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me."
Oh, no! Unfortunately, Katie just missed the deadline for Search for the Next Pussycat Doll! In fact, the show picked a winner this very week. And for those of you who missed it, the newest Doll is…Katie Couric Asia, the (former) Knicks City Dancer and (current) 18 year-old mom.
But that notwithstanding, don't you wish your aging, disconcertingly perky tv news anchor of a girlfriend was a "freak" like Katie Couric?
Today, as he is most days, Matt Lauer was NBC's whipping boy.
This morning's Today show was supposed to welcome the families of Virginia Tech victims, but after last night's "multimedia manifesto" (see how with it 30 Rock is?!) – where Brian Williams and his MSNBC cohorts aired photos, video, and documents mailed to them by VT gunman Cho Seung-Hui – the families pulled out, and left the Today show sans guests.
Cue Lauer's reading of a prepared statement defending the network's decision to air the material. But, as one NBC insider tells us, it's likely Lauer didn't want to go along for the ride.
"That's not something he would've chose to do," says a former Lauer colleague. "Especially at the risk of losing such a big story [having the victims on the Today show]."
Forget that Portfolio launch — today is a bigger day in television. With Kiran Chetry and John Roberts taking over at CNN's American Morning and Tiki Barber making his Today show debut, it's a bit hard to get us to focus on some glossy new book when John is donning suspenders in honor of Larry King Day and that beautiful bald man is dotting NBC's broadcast.
And also, lower third scrolls are a much better distraction for all things Don Imus than a new table of contents.
After a recent PR blip regarding Meredith Vieria being the only Today show anchor doing anything online comes the launch of FollowMatt.com, a giant Flash site that's sort of a Where's Waldo for the Web 2.0 set (or at least those bent on taking part). Times ad man Stuart Elliot appears gung ho about the project, if only because Hyundai paid some $2.5 million to sponsor the online offshoot of "Where in the World Is Matt Lauer?"
But after clicking on Matt's mug for the second time, palling around a virtual Angkor Wat looking for the six-packed morning man lost most of its appeal. Especially when he talks down to us from his $13 million salary about only flying private.
You know Don Imus has gone and done some shit when the Today show is revamping their schedule because of it. We hear Jim Bell's team has canceled all of their guests in the 9-10am hour tomorrow for a still-being-worked-on special segment on race, hosted by, of course, Al Roker. For the sake of things, let's hope Ann Curry gets a voice too. And Jasper.
• Sam Zell's new Tribune Co. will be hesitant to give away online content for free. Just like Pinch used to be!
• Why are so many folks hoping Conde Nast's $125 million Portfolio will bomb? We can think of one hundred twenty five million reasons.
• OK! and Hello publisher Richard Desmond hops out of bed with People for a few minutes to launch a Spanish competitor to People en Espanol.
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• PRWeek is not a fan of the RTCA Dinner. Possibly because they failed to properly appreciate MC Rove. Probably because they think it's a conflict of interest for journalists and politicians sing, dance and jump in bed together.
• Is the Today show squandering its once massive lead over Good Morning America? 'Yes!" says Page Six. 'No!" says last week's ratings.
• CNN's American Morning will continue to be a "no glitz, no glamour" (and, presumably, "no viewer) operation.
• Meanwhile, Miles O'Brien looks forward to life outside "an air-conditioned studio" while his replacement, John Roberts insists, "I don't think [AM] has to be hard news like you're taking Robitussin."
• NBC renews 30 Rock for another season, gives Tracy Morgan something to do in between binge-drinking and hitting the strip joints.
With his big NBC debut only two weeks away, Tiki Barber is quick to remind everyone that he's no stranger to the television spotlight, or—as he puts it—"it's not like I'm jumping in as a virgin to this." Indeed!
After all, in addition to being a high-profile professional athlete, Tiki was also a morning sports anchor at WCBS-TV in New York (where he first honed his sports metaphors) and a correspondent for FNC's Fox & Friends (where, Tiki admits, he was "just kind of doing it.") Which, incidentally is exactly what Hannity & Colmes said! But while plans to "hit the ground running" as the newest member of the Today show team, there have already been a couple of minor fumbles.
"I have issues with my bald head and how they have to light me," said Barber, who'll turn 32 on Saturday. "The light has to be at my shoulders, otherwise I get a halo effect."
NBC's Ann Curry graced the pages of Page Six today with the news that a fourth neighbor is fearing for their lives—and filing suit against Curry—for the obnoxiously loud (and possibly unsafe) four year home renovation.
Nick and Gino Presta, who own the building next to the NBC "Today" and "Dateline" newsgal, claim that dangerous, unsafe, illegal work at Curry's brownstone has put their tenants at risk and caused one 25-year tenant to move out after 12 months of jackhammering. "We were bombarded with complaints from tenants of excessive noise and dust, 7 a.m. start times, illegal weekend work and safety fears," said Nick Presta
Dangerous? Unsafe? Illegal? Sounds like Curry is totally guilty! Either that or the fifty year-old is going to keep on renovating…until she's finally tapped to fill Katie Couric's "pointy, designer shoes."
*We're kidding! After all, the renovations started waaaay before the Chicago Trib said "we should all be thankful they didn't give the job to that dolt, Ann Curry."
In not completely surprising news, it turns out Ann Curry really wanted Katie Couric's job. And, apparently, she thinks she deserved it, citing her temporary face-time with Matt Lauer as Exhibit A. But did everything ultimately work out for the best? "Yes!" says Ann, out of deference to Meredith Viera, her new bestie (a.k.a. the woman who know has "her" job.)
"I did do the job this summer," Ms. Curry said, referring to the period before Ms. Vieira's first broadcast in September, when Ms. Curry sat alongside Matt Lauer most days. "People said I did it well. Viewers seemed to respond to my doing it well."
She and Ms. Vieira had since grown close, she said, and "I know it has all worked out." Ms. Curry said it would have been difficult for her to travel to Africa as often as she had, "had I been given that job."
When we're not talking about Charlie Gibson creeping up on Brian Williams, our other favorite television industry topic – besides guessing where NY1's Roger Clark will show up next – has to be the ratings race among the morning shows. Today, Television Week's Michele Greppi has us make a fist as she slides the needle of executive quotables into our elbow crease.
• "The fact that we haven't lost a viewer since last year to me is very promising." — Good Morning America senior executive producer Jim Murphy
• "We are getting viewers the Today show is losing" — CBS morning programming VP Steve Friedman
And then there's NBC.
• "We still have our gap intact." —Today show exec producer Jim Bell
That's so funny, 'cause NBC Nightly News producer John Reiss was just telling us the same thing. And then.
• Chris Klein is destined to go through life as "Katie Holmes' ex-boyfriend.' Tough break, Nova.
• Al Roker launches his v-blog on the revamped Today show website; Amanda Congdon panics, then remembers she looks "much, much better" in a tight t-shirt.
• Former Disney CEO Michael Eisner decides he's ready to grow up; takes off his Mickey ears and buys a lifetime's supply of Bazooka chewing gum.
• MTV is launching thousands of websites. 'Who cares?' asks the disgruntled throngs of recently-fired MTV staffers.
• A braless Sharon Stone flips out when photogs capture her G.I. Jane look.
• Our homosexual younger brother tells Ann Coulter how to treat her gays.
Remember Jennifer Mee? You know, that girl who can't stop hiccuping, much to the delight of exploitative morning show producers everywhere?
Well, as you may recall, Today was fortunate enough to "scoop" the competition by landing an exclusive sit-down with a hopelessly hiccuping Jennifer. But now word comes that top competitor, Good Morning America, refused to go down without a fight.
The competition for her story became so frenzied over the weekend that NBC's Today show changed Jennifer and her mother's New York hotel after another network's exhaustive attempts to get an interview.
Representatives from ABC's Good Morning America called Jennifer's home 57 times on Sunday and slipped notes under her hotel room door, her family said.
They called Jennifer's home 57 times. In a single day.
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Editorial Director
